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#11 PaulaV

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    Posted 09 November 2007 - 10:24 AM

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by coreyphil
    I completely agree ... send them! My ONLY caveat is if, by some fluke, this one invitation is going to push you over your order ... i.e, you have to order 50 or 100 ... and theirs makes 51 ... otherwise - I think they will appreciate knowing you want them there!

    Thanks for the reponses!

    I was including them from the beginning, so it will not put me over in the invite order.
    I guess since they already told me they cannot travel, I don't want them to think we are looking for gifts by sending them an invite.
    They know we want them there and we have told them we will have an AHR that we hope they can attend.

    Thanks again!

    #12 starchild

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      Posted 09 November 2007 - 10:52 AM

      Quote:
      Originally Posted by PaulaV
      Thanks for the reponses!
      I guess since they already told me they cannot travel, I don't want them to think we are looking for gifts by sending them an invite.
      Paula funny you should say that, that's exactly what my mom said! I didn't see that point at first, but I guess if someone sent me an std (2 in our case) and I said no and they sent me an invite anyway I just may think they were reminding me that I wasn't going but there was still a gift-worthy event taking place...lol

      Whether you end up sending the "no" people a std & invite or just an std they will know you care. After all you thought enough of them to send them an std in the first place, right? If they are your friends they know that they are important :P

      Side bonus, our invites weren't the cheapest and we saved about $400 by not sending them to people who already told us they couldn't go.

      #13 foxytv

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        Posted 09 November 2007 - 11:07 AM

        Definitely send them. I'm sure they still want to feel a part of the guest list -- and know that you'd love to have them there, even though you understand the circumstances!

        #14 JulieG

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          Posted 09 November 2007 - 11:35 AM

          Paula, I was going to say exactly what you did and what Jamy's mom did. I only sent invites to people that booked. The STD's went to everyone, but when you booked, you got an invite. I did not want to remind people that they could not come to our wedding, or make it seem like we wanted a gift and that was why we were sending them an invite. So, we didn't. I don't think you need to send one to your friends and I think they might feel bad about not being able to come and will be reminded of that when they get your invite and might assume its because you want a gift.

          Are you sending invites for your AHR? If so, send them one of those. But I would say do not send them a wedding invite. You know they are not coming, so I don't see the point.

          #15 coreyphil

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            Posted 09 November 2007 - 05:11 PM

            Quote:
            Originally Posted by Julesr
            Paula, I was going to say exactly what you did and what Jamy's mom did. I only sent invites to people that booked. The STD's went to everyone, but when you booked, you got an invite. I did not want to remind people that they could not come to our wedding, or make it seem like we wanted a gift and that was why we were sending them an invite. So, we didn't. I don't think you need to send one to your friends and I think they might feel bad about not being able to come and will be reminded of that when they get your invite and might assume its because you want a gift.

            Are you sending invites for your AHR? If so, send them one of those. But I would say do not send them a wedding invite. You know they are not coming, so I don't see the point.
            I completely didn't think about that! We're not registering and asked people to not bring gifts ... so it didn't even enter my mind! That makes sense!

            #16 starchild

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              Posted 09 November 2007 - 08:38 PM

              Quote:
              Originally Posted by Julesr
              Paula, I was going to say exactly what you did and what Jamy's mom did. I only sent invites to people that booked. The STD's went to everyone, but when you booked, you got an invite. I did not want to remind people that they could not come to our wedding, or make it seem like we wanted a gift and that was why we were sending them an invite. So, we didn't. I don't think you need to send one to your friends and I think they might feel bad about not being able to come and will be reminded of that when they get your invite and might assume its because you want a gift.
              Thanks Jules.....I was beginning to think I was super rude or something but I thought it would be rude to do it the other way. I kind of felt like "get over yourself, how many times do you need to inform people of your plans?" People that could go said yes already. To us accepting their first no was far less offensive than sending multiple reminders. No means no, we didn't want to rub it in their faces.




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