How do you get over the feeling of guilt for having a Destination Wedding?
My Fiance live in Pennsylvania and are having a DW in Scotland. There are several reasons why.
1. My Fiance has a huge family, and we don't want a huge wedding. To invite his aunts, uncles, and cousins (but not children of his cousins) that alone is over 80 people.
2. My Fiance and his parents don't speak to each other anymore (abusive father, etc.) and we don't want them coming to the wedding or being able to come if they hear about it.
3. My Fiance has aunts and uncles on his father's side who are very nice people, however, they have serious alcohol (and then behavior) problems. We don't want to just not invite them to the wedding, because unlike his father, they are good people who just have some alcohol problems. We want them in our lives without having to worry about them getting drunk and making a scene (or doing what they did at a cousin's wedding - going out back and smoking marijuana).
4. Scotland is amazing and I know my family members would love to see our clan's castle.
We were just stressing about what to do with his family... its all been hard on us, but we do NOT want them at the wedding. Even if we had a dry wedding (which we would if they came), I know they would do something. That would ruin our relationship with them and we don't want that since they are able to behave when we're one-on-one. And if we went anywhere in the states, most of them would still probably come.
However, they won't come to Scotland.
Initially my mom agreed that this is what we should do, as most of my family will be able to afford it but my fiance's won't.
But now my mom is being weird. Saying we'll have no guests. Acting very lukewarm about the whole thing. But I know my parents and brother (and his fiance) will be able to come, and I don't have any grandparents. There aren't really any people who can't come holding me back.
Even though she hasn't said anything to try to guilt me, I do feel guilty. We know that many guests we would like to come can't come and we're okay with that. We're going to have an informal get together when we return. Its not like I'm "expecting" anyone to come, and I know many of my family members would love to go to Scotland, but just haven't had the opportunity to yet.
Anyone else have stories of how you felt guilty? I'm trying so hard not to. Advice and your own personal experiences are welcome. =)