Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
Melissa14

Uninvited Guest !!!!!venting!!!

Recommended Posts

@Marymack they really and truly due. The little girl doesn't know better she is only 19 at the moment but her mother (who was involved with her plans) should have known better and nipped that in the bud FAST!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have to weigh in on this one...because I FEEL YOUR PAIN!!! 

 

During our invitation time my future mother in-law pulled something similar.  It was decided that my FI would deal with it.  Unfortunately he caved and we were left inviting people I had never met before (friends of his parents) and people that WE just didn't want to be there.  If I had to go back and do it again I think I would have planned a firm sit-down with both of our parents and laid down the ground rules re: invites.  That potentially could have saved some stress and grief.  I have since let that one go....only because I had to....it's not worth it to let it ruin your day.

 

We are now three weeks away and we have had one couple (who were not invited) book, apparently because they think it's a fun crowd coming (which it is!).  My FI friends are also dating some young girls and apparently they think that it's ok for them to invite their friends as well.  We now have a few girls jump on the trip who were not invited as well. 

 

I still can't wrap my head around what some people are thinking inviting themselves to someone elses wedding.  My FI and I have chatted about it and we think people a) probably thing the wedding is not costing us anything therefore they could just come (boy, are they incorrect!) and B) people probably don't consider the trip to be an extension of the wedding day (i.e., they think that they can just come on the trip uninvited but not come to wedding).

 

We have decided to bite our tougues and include everyone in the wedding.  Yes, this has involved more money and some last minute planning but it is worth it to us to keep people happy.

 

The exception to this is if any of these people make me feel uncomfortable leading up to or on my wedding day.  If that's the case then the "keeping people happy" plan goes out the window and I will have no problem telling people that they are no longere welcome to attend!

 

Bottomline......you are not alone.  In the end you need to do what is best for you and your FI.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

We had a similar situation. Since our wedding is in Antigua. His mom was going to stay with people she knows there (not even family) and she decided that she wanted to bring 5 of them along to our wedding.

My fiance put his foot down right away and said no that is not happening. We do not even know these people at all. And we certainly did not want them at our wedding, just because she was staying with them.

 

In the end his mom is now staying at the hotel (after he paid for her whole trip) that's another story.

 

There always has to be drama! Nothing can ever go smoothly............

 

Good Luck

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wow! The nerve of some people!

 

Not only have I dealt with all these uninvited guests this week but NOW some of my guests who already RSVP'd are calling me to complain about how expensive Cabo is :( How do they not understand how much stress I am under? I would never bother a bride with these things! I didn't even make any of my bridesmaids the maid of honor because I didn't want to impose on anyone's life and have them running around for me.

 

aaahhh this was supposed to be stress FREE!

 

Thank you ladies for venting and letting me vent!
 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Originally Posted by Melissa14 View Post

 

Wow! The nerve of some people!

 

Not only have I dealt with all these uninvited guests this week but NOW some of my guests who already RSVP'd are calling me to complain about how expensive Cabo is :( How do they not understand how much stress I am under? I would never bother a bride with these things! I didn't even make any of my bridesmaids the maid of honor because I didn't want to impose on anyone's life and have them running around for me.

 

aaahhh this was supposed to be stress FREE!

 

Thank you ladies for venting and letting me vent!

 

I totally thought it was going to be stress free as well, I know how you feel.

 

When people tell me that they are sorry they can't come, I just tell them thats fine no worries!

I didn't want half of them there anyways hence the destination wedding lol

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Just to add another perspective...

 

I agree about putting your foot down with your MIL, inviting a group of people you don't know to your wedding is overstepping the line a little bit.

 

However, with your friend, I can see how a misunderstanding could have occurred. In this day and age, not everyone is as familiar with invite etiquette and how specific wording indicates exactly who is invited. I have to admit that before I started planning my own wedding, I had no clue there were so many rules to it. I would suggest making an exception. Most brides are finding on here that many people who say that they are going to your wedding now, end up backing out when it comes time to actually book (dealing with that right now, myself), so you may find that you will still be under your count even with the additional guest. Also, it is no fun to travel alone and your friend probably just wanted someone to keep her company, knowing that you most likely will be busy with other things and having to spend time with multiple people throughout the trip. A few years ago, I was the "extra" guest to another wedding, and over the course of the vacation, got to know both the bride and groom quite well. To this day, they are some of my closest friends! I don't think that being gracious and allowing one extra person to join in will hurt your budget all that much, but it will hopefully create a better vacation for your friend and may even gain you another great friendship.
 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I agree about the plus 1. I took time to think about it and now I see it's not the biggest deal in the world. Plus 14-15 people on the other hand...ugh!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

×