What do you say to those who aren't invited?
Posted 11 October 2007 - 10:46 AM
If I tell them "don't worry, we'll have a reception when we get home" what can I expect the general response to be? And if I don't speak to them directly, how do I tell them about the AHR without directing them to our website?
Just trying to plan ahead to avoid as much awkwardness as I can.
Posted 11 October 2007 - 10:49 AM
There is no etiquette for doing that for a traditional wedding? I am sure sometimes the people invite certain people to the church and certain people to the reception...
Posted 11 October 2007 - 10:55 AM
I did have one aunt make a comment before the invites were sent out that she hoped she was considered "immediate" family. She wasn't and I didn't hear a peep about that.
We purposely chose a small place and on our wedding website we said something like "unfortunately we could not invite everyone we wanted to the wedding due to the small size of our location, but that we planned to hold a reception at home so that everyone could celebrate with us". You can see my site if you are interested in the exact wording (alishaandmatt.weddingwindow.com).
And everyone that asked about the wedding I also told verbally that we would have an AHR and my mom and his mom and our siblings passed the word pretty well on that. We also sent out STD's for the AHR and our invites our out now too, so everyone knows.
We are/will be directing people to the wedding website though because it's for both the wedding and reception so hopefully no one will be insulted. Honestly though, at this point I could give a sh** if someone is, I mean I've done the best I can and that's all I can do. You can't make everyone happy, and you shouldn't try.
Posted 11 October 2007 - 11:03 AM
We did something similar - made a rule that we were only inviting people that we really wanted to be there. We did not want any "extras". So our guideline was that we would only invite people that were important to us individually or as a couple - people that helped form who we are as people & as a couple.
Anybody else who bitched about it got this speech "we decided to do a very small, intimate wedding. we really want our families to get to know eachother, so the focus is on them." End of story. And f*ck you if you can't understand its OUR WEDDING!!
Posted 11 October 2007 - 11:25 AM
Posted 11 October 2007 - 11:44 AM
Don't cave and don't mention the AHR to people you don't want there either )
Posted 11 October 2007 - 11:49 AM
Posted 11 October 2007 - 12:49 PM
When we decided on a DW - we decided that our rule was if you can't pick up the phone and call the person without them wondering if something's wrong or thinking it's weird that you're calling them ... then they weren't on the list.
We also didn't go down the road of feeling "obligated" to invite distant cousins and other relatives that we NEVER talk to ...
It has worked out really well --- we've invited only about 50 including family and when we think about the wedding, we get really excited about it being small and intimate with our closest friends and family. It looks like we're going to have around 35 ...
As for the co-workers and others that weren't invited ... I put all the blame on me and said that the thought of planning a "big" wedding just gave me anxiety ... so I'm going for a really, really small wedding. We've had a few co-workers joke about "crashing" the wedding ... but in general, they've all been really supportive. I can't tell you how many have pulled me aside and told me that if they had it to do over, they would do the same thing --- cut their guest list in half and go for a small, intimate ceremony!
I think most people will understand! Good luck!
Posted 11 October 2007 - 12:52 PM
0 user(s) are reading this topic
0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users