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brecluse

am I being a bitch? (really long sorry)

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I say ignore the guy if he tries to contact you again. If he persists, just flat out tell him that he is of no consequence to you, and your concern is for your BF and her marriage. Any other type of contact is going to antagonize the guy and he will say something to your best friend, who could turn it around on you to make you the 'bad guy'.

 

As for your best friend--- why doesn't she want to end her marriage? Simply because she's afraid of what she'll lose in a divorce? That's not a reason to keep dragging her husband down with her. If she wants to stay married because she loves her husband and wants to repair her marriage, then she needs to get her act together and get some counseling.

 

To be blunt- she sounds like a manipulative drama mama--- doesn't want to give up the marriage until she's 'secure' with her other relationship. Regardless, it appears she knows what she wants (be with the new guy) and is just trying to find someone who will 'approve' her behavior. In which case, I would just tell her your opinion once and *never* state it again. Let her make the decision- you can still be there for her...

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..

Quote:
Originally Posted by MikkiStreak View Post
I say ignore the guy if he tries to contact you again. If he persists, just flat out tell him that he is of no consequence to you, and your concern is for your BF and her marriage. Any other type of contact is going to antagonize the guy and he will say something to your best friend, who could turn it around on you to make you the 'bad guy'.

 

As for your best friend--- why doesn't she want to end her marriage? Simply because she's afraid of what she'll lose in a divorce? That's not a reason to keep dragging her husband down with her. If she wants to stay married because she loves her husband and wants to repair her marriage, then she needs to get her act together and get some counseling.

 

To be blunt- she sounds like a manipulative drama mama--- doesn't want to give up the marriage until she's 'secure' with her other relationship. Regardless, it appears she knows what she wants (be with the new guy) and is just trying to find someone who will 'approve' her behavior. In which case, I would just tell her your opinion once and *never* state it again. Let her make the decision- you can still be there for her...

i agree.

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Ditto Maria.

 

It's both odd and highly inappropritate that this other guy is calling you. And, I know she's your friend, but she's clearly being selfish in this situation. She wants to keep her marriage and have a guy on the side. If she loses "everything" in the divorce, I say she deserves it and may her lesson be learned.

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Just my opinion, but this should be a pretty happy time in your life with your wedding being so close and all. As such, you have every right not to deal with other people's BS and be absorbed in their problems. I'm pretty sure that your mind is working double time trying to tie up loose ends for your big day. So my advice is to just ignore them and enjoy your special time.

 

I'm also sure that this whole thing is not going to blow over in 17 days so you can be a giving friend at that time. As for getting involved. Take my advice STAY OUT OF IT!!! Somehow something will end up being your fault. You also never know with life....your BFF can end up with the guy she is having a fling with. You saying he is this and that can backfire on you down the road....

 

Again just my opinion......

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the girls have totally given you good advice on this, I have to agree with Maria, you shouldn't text him back when he texts you... I don't think you are being a bitch, you gave your advice and how you feel... and all you can do now is see how it plays out.

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Thanks guys, you're all right I don't need to be involved in this, especially right now, so I told her I'm sorry for being blunt but this is how I feel, but it doesn't change our friendship. She told him not to bother me anymore so that should be that.

 

I really felt like I was being bitch mostly because the whole situation made me seriously lose my temper which always makes me feel like the hulk or something. So wasn't sure if I went overboard with the honest. girl_werewolf.gif

 

Anyway, the whole thing just makes me incredibly sad and I have no time to be sad right now, I have way to much crap to do!

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I am glad that you told her how you felt and she understood. I know you want her to do what's best for her, but apparently she isn't interested in that right now. It's still weird that he texted you though.

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