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jamie1519

Mother vs. All-Inclusive

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When people go to DW, they will be on vacation themselves too. They will want to eat whenever and whatever they want to. With an AI, they have the freedom to eat and drink all they want, with lots of selections. On the other hand, if they know you will be picking up the bill, they will not feel as freely to choose what they truely want. AI is the best way to make your guests comfortable, knowing their costs up front and not having to worry about anything else.

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I completely disagree with your mom! Wow,that is a ton of money to spend! If you had your wedding at home, would you still do this for all your guestshuh.gif I wouldn't.

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I actually had a very different experience. My parents were fairly easily convinced about doing a DW and staying at and AI. My mothers main concern being of Eastern European descent was that people were going to be offended if they weren't there for the wedding. She gave into the whole idea once I very clearly explained to her that even if our wedding was here she wouldn't get to invite 400 of her closest friends so if she wasn't getting what she wants anyway she might as well have a lovely vacation.

 

What I found interesting were the comments that friends and family were making. I'm not a person who goes around saying how much things are costing us and I never explained the cost structure of a destination wedding to anyone except for my parents, but quite a few people said to me that were were very clever in doing an AI because we were basically getting a "free wedding".

 

I was taken aback a little by such comments and addressed them by explaining a to the few people how things are trully structured there, but it was a lesson learned for me. I wish I could have anticipated such comments and had been prepared with an answer for them.

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I'm having a similar experience - people keep thinking if I have a destination wedding, it'll be free for me, and I mean if you can do that, more power to you, but with a 100 people at who knows what a head plus all the extras, it may be cheaper than doing it here for 200 people, but it'll still cost my parents a ridiculous chunk of money and although I don't want to go around telling my guests what my parents are spending, I want them to appreciate my parents for what they've done for me the way you normally would at a wedding. Stupid?

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Whats wrong with getting a free wedding. We don't owe them a wedding. Would they be happier to see the new couple drown themselves in debt to start off their marriage. It shouldn't be an obligation to spend $20,000-$30,000 on a wedding.

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I think for a large group, an all-inclusive is the way to go but wherever you decide to go, make it be where you want to get married. Guests (including your family) can always choose wherever they want to stay whether it is at an all-inclusive or not. Another option is to choose a hotel with an EP plan that has an option to add meals essentially making it an all-inclusive. This is an option at the Fiesta Americana Condesa where I am having my reception.

 

Good luck to you!

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A couple comments...

 

First of all, a wedding at an AI isn't free. I paid $66 PER GUEST and that was just for the food/drinks. Sure, it probably was cheaper than if I'd had it at a non-AI, but it definitely wasn't free. That didn't include the thousands I spent on decor and entertainment.

 

Yes, people might think you're getting a deal if you have a wedding at an AI, but they also need to realize that they are too. It's more expensive to eat and drink at a non-AI, unless you don't eat or drink much!

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that's what i was going to say too, Sarah. nothing is wrong with a free wedding, but the problem is .. i'm not sure it exists! lol even these "free" weddings that some resorts offer, that's only if you book x number of rooms or something - that's hardly free!

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We've had the same issue with people.

 

My mom, there was a point in time where she added 6 people that were coming to our wedding that we didn't invited. At that point in time neither her or my father had offered to give us any money for the wedding. I lost it on her! I also found out they were planning to give us money which helped, but I don't think they have any idea about all the expenses involved in this wedding.

 

And then FI's friends wanted us to go on the annual group vacation with them, and we just couldn't do it. So FI had to explain to them that you know, you guys are going on vacation and paying 1500-1800 dollars, but thats not how much we're paying for the wedding and our trip, try adding on another zero.

 

People just don't get it.

 

I definetly think you could do a DW for less money than one at home, especially if you were to keep it super simple and not do a lot of extras, but people shouldn't just assume that its free because you're at an All inclusive.

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Unless you plan on eating EVERY meal (breakfast, snack, lunch, dinner, cocktails) together the entire time..why should you have to pay for it?? It's everyone's vacation and they are not going to spend or wait for you every second!! Why can't people understand this damn it?

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