wedding drama!!

[Gin Bootles]

has anyone else had their friends show their true colors when crap hits the fan? i have had multiple things happen... i am the maid of honor for my supposed to be best friend.. well she is being a bridezilla (im stating that lightly).. i have had to pay 200 bucks for a bridesmaid dress... she kicked out one of her bms already and 1 more including me are about to say see-ya! her wedding is in september, and everytime something happens i get the blame.. now mind you i have basically done all the work, made the bridal shower invites (65 of them) then paid for stamps to send them all out, and done lots of things for the shower... totaling over $250!!! now my fiancee has to work and wont be able to go to their bachelor party.. (they just put the deposit down, or half the money down this last weekend) we called them on tuesday, 3 days after they put down some money to tell them the bad news... now the best man is being a jerk and refuses to comprimise to even get partial money back.. (mind you it was $140) sooo now i got into it with bridezilla, and another bm did as well.. she has yet to call either one of us... so we havent bothered planning her bachelorette party.. idk with all this drama, if they are not willing to comprimize and give me back at least some of my money, i will not be in the wedding,.... this time should be fun and exciting, not this kind of drama! i am curious, has anyone experienced this stuff at all? and what advice do you have? do i suck it up and just not plan anything anymore since none of the BMs did anything? idk comments and feedback please!!

[shannonmarie]

That's a tough one. Is the deposit refundable? I think that makes a big difference. Are they just intentionally keeping your fiances money or is it out of their control?

[Gin Bootles]

they are keeping the money.. they have a choice to refund it, they just dont want to 

[shannonmarie]

Oh wow! Then I think that is incredibly rude on their part! What makes them think they can just keep them money if he cannot go?? Some people amaze me. I honestly am not sure what I would do in your situation. Part of me would want to say screw it and not plan anything for them since they are doing that, but another part of me says to be the bigger person and plan it. I'm no help! Sorry!!

I wish you luck on this!

[Gin Bootles]

now the issue is that my fiancee is sooooo mad about the situation that he will not go to their wedding.. mind you i am the maid of honor and i refuse to go to the wedding alone. honestly i am torn, but at the same time, i have been through enough,
 

[AllieH]

is there any way at all to talk to her reasonably about it?

 

if not, I'd say walk. I get that weddings bring out the worst in people - family, the bride & groom - pretty much everybody. But at some point reason has to prevail, and hope she realizes that friendship are more important than this crazy drama.

 

 

Originally Posted by Gin Bootles 

now the issue is that my fiancee is sooooo mad about the situation that he will not go to their wedding.. mind you i am the maid of honor and i refuse to go to the wedding alone. honestly i am torn, but at the same time, i have been through enough,
 

[Lysswedding]

This is a tough decision...

[kmmathes]

It's interesting that sometimes it takes a wedding to figure out who your true friends are. Good luck!

[Jenny2014]

I was in a similar situation. I was the MOH to my fiance's brother's wedding 2 years ago. I actually "quit" because of how stressed out I was with everything. They had endless parties/ events for them, in which we were both required to attend/ bring gifts and/or money too. We both had just graduated from school, weren't working at the best jobs, and were barely making ends meet. After a debacle of a day going bridesmaid dress shopping, and having Erin tell me that because I was MOH, I could wear whatever colour I wanted, she turned around, lied and said she never said that, and made a big deal about me trying to take over their wedding. I don't lie, I'm far too much of an honest person, and I wouldn't have lied about that, so when his brother called me to ask me why I was being so rude, and why couldn't I get it through my head that this was about them, not about me, I flipped out. I called her, and told her I couldn't do this anymore. I was tired of being made to feel horrible, and that this wedding had become bigger than life, and that I wasn't into it anymore and I quit.

 

Of course, then I got guilted back into doing it, but both my and my fiance hated every second of it, and could not wait for their "big happy day" to end. It put a serious dent into our relationship with them, that we never got over. It ended up being a beautiful day, and we had an amazing time, and forgot all about our issues, for that one day.

 

I think you need to stand up for yourself and let her know how you feel about the situation. But be prepared to continue moving forward, and celebrate their wedding with them. Sometimes, you just have to be the bigger person, and realize that sometimes people act completely irrational in the moment, but they see their fault later on. We can't control other peoples actions, only our own.
 

[Mufin1785]

Well Your fiancee has committed to go to a bachelor party, is that correct?  Now that something has come he cant go anymore?  I understand where they are coming from, I just had a bachelorette party this weekend we did not take money from people upfront and took their as they RSVP'ed rented a Limo for the girls to split.  3 Girls did not show-up we could have rented something smaller but since people RSVP'ed we assumed they would come.  I ended up paying for almost half of the Limo at my own Bachelorette part as I felt it unfair to the girls that agreed to a certain price to have to cover people that did not show (I am the Bride).  Maybe if they could get a person to take his place they will refund the money.  How is this the bride's fault it sounds like it is the best man who refuses to refund the money. 

 

I think when you agree to stand in a wedding there is a certain financial commitment that needs to understood upfront.  Maybe you should plan something low key that does not cost alot. I have been to a "fun" party for a bachelorette party that was fun, held at someones home.   It is stressful planning a wedding maybe you should  talk to the bride and voice your concerns and talk it out not worth loses a friendship over. The bride should also understand that she has decided to have a destination wedding and the bridal party has already agreed to pay plenty of money to attend her wedding.  I paid for our attendants attire