Has anyone else had their wedding party members do a complete 180 and bail out of the wedding? That's what one of my bridesmaids did this week and I'm still pissed about her attitude.
I asked her to be a bridesmaid after we had decided to do a DW and she agreed. When we were choosing resorts, we specifically asked everyone of our wedding party members if the price of $1500 per person was okay with them (we were guestimating the cost). This bridesmaid said yes, the price was great and she couldn't wait. I checked in with her once a month to make sure the price was still good and every time she said the price was good for her and her husband and that she couldn't wait to go.
Two weeks ago we got our quotes, and the price per person is $1530 pp, pretty much spot on to what we've been telling people. I relay the information and everything is still fine. Two weekends ago, she starts asking me questions about the resort through text, like what rooms are available and which one does she get. I told her the room prices and said it was up to her and her husband to choose a room that best suited their finances. At one point she goes a long time without responding and I get a funny feeling, so I outright ask her if she thinks she'll be able to make it to the wedding. She then gives me a huge story about how her husband and her are really hurting for money, that it's a lot of money, and that she's trying her best to be there because they're putting every cent towards our wedding.
We go to the beach two days later, and while I hear more stories about how bad her finances are, she also buys frivolous things from the vendors, talks about getting her nails done and tells our group of friend that we should rent a cottage for a week in the summer. (Can you see where this is going?)
Last weekend I ask her again if she'll be coming to the wedding (politely) and explain that I while I will be sad if she can't because she's my friend and I'd love to have her there, I understand if finances are too tight. I pretty much gave her an out and she took it. She said she couldn't commit 100% because it was a lot of money to save up and they had other obligations but she still really wanted to be a part of my wedding somehow. She also said she wanted to have a sit down talk with me about the wedding. Everything is good, I tell her she can support me in other ways and everything is fine.
We never had that sit down chat about the wedding. It's no longer important to her. We were supposed to get together for a girl's night this week, and she bailed on that. Compiled with the fact that she ditched me three times in the last month, only shows up to group functions for an hour and then leaves, will interrupt when I'm talking or just plain not listen, and then was dishonest about the wedding costs (a simple "I'm not sure I can afford it" from the start would have been nice)...really just makes me feel like this friendship is done. I feel like I see how much my friendship really means to her (not a lot), and it hurts. But I'm glad this all happened now and not months away from the wedding.
Has anyone else had this happen? Where a wedding party member bails and shows their true colours? Sorry for the long vent! Obviously I needed to get it out, lol.