Wedding Dreams Crushed (and Diverted)
February 9, 2012
Iâ€™m sure youâ€™ve heard â€œI canâ€™t afford my own tasteâ€ or â€œChampagne taste, Beer Budgetâ€ Iâ€™m that girl. I really consider myself thrifty and I donâ€™t believe I have expensive taste. Iâ€™m the girl who wonâ€™t buy an article of clothing for more than $60 or jewelry for more than $15. But when it comes to weddings, I have expensive taste. Iâ€™ve had this conversation with Raoul many times, him trying to tell me Iâ€™m asking for a lot right now and Iâ€™m trying to say itâ€™s my first and only wedding and I deserve it and him saying he wants me to have my dream wedding but I have to decide if I want to marry him or impress everyone. The conversation always ends with me get my feelings hurt and feeling like an awful person. I was willing to budge on almost everything.
That Jim Heljm dress Iâ€™ve had on my desktop for ever so I could show everyone â€“ I can live without.
Fireworks at the end of the night and us making our exit in a hot air balloon inspired by a scene on Mont Cristo I saw when I was 12? Ok, I knew this was a stretch but I can live without it too.
There are seriously a ton of things Iâ€™ve lusted after thanks to wedding porn but I will live without. Thatâ€™s why I felt I was being fair in asking for one thing. My perfect venue. As a designer itâ€™s very difficult for me to find a space I absolutely love. Even my own home gets criticized, although mainly because I canâ€™t afford to do it the way it should be done. When R and I first started talking about marriage I knew it would be in Bahamas even though he was willing to have his family come to the states for the sake of my familiesâ€™ budget. But being the beach girl that I am, I knew the yucky beach in Virginia would be nothing compared to the beautiful beach is Bahamas. After my first cruise I refuse to let water thatâ€™s not clear go higher than my calves so I couldnâ€™t imagine having a trash the dress session there. So since I knew it would be Bahamas and I was stuck in Virginia for a long time, this impatient girl took to the internet so I could have a picture to go with my wedding day dreams. I discovered a destination wedding blog that I became addicted to and by way of a few ladies weddings started seeing venues but none that interested me. I really donâ€™t remember how I stumbled across it but one day I found â€œitâ€
The perfect venue. Beach Club Caf©.
The outside patio in the evening /
The view walking in /
The view from the water /
The indoor dining area /
Another view of the indoor dining area /
The view of the water and pier from the patio (Personal Photo)
A few weeks later my mother visited the island and R took her to have lunch at Beach Club, while impressed with the atmosphere they werenâ€™t impressed by the overpriced food. They spent $40 for two beers and a small pizza they split. But my mother talked to the owner who remembered me and told her we could also rent the restaurant out for half a day for $3,500. R said it was a possibility and I had my dream once again.
Fast forward to months later when weâ€™re getting serious about this wedding talk. I realized with R just coming out of the off season and me just starting a job after being unemployed for most of the year that were a long way off from saving for this wedding. Especially since my car died and Iâ€™m looking at getting a car payment which I havenâ€™t had in years and I still would like to have a reception in Virginia. So I put on my big girl panties and realized Iâ€™d rather end this long distance relationship and marry him sooner than wait until we save enough money for my dream wedding. The daydreams of seeing him when I get off work, us having dinner together and waking up next to each other were far more important than that gorgeous perfect dream wedding. We would still have a beautiful wedding because I would still put my heart into it and we would be surrounded by our family and friends celebrating whatâ€™s most important â€“us uniting our lives. I accepted I donâ€™t get everything I want and the hunt for a venue began. Again.
Did you have a hard time giving up something for your wedding day?