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LPerry

Destination Weddings and Disappointment

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Funny enough, my girlfriend who is supposed to be performing our symbolic ceremony in Mexico (and doing the actual ceremony here at home) is about to back out b/c her husband thinks she will cheat on him in Mexico...FML.
 

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Oh yeah...he was invited. Both of their children were invited as well. I'm sure it's finances that won't let them all come. But again...I told everyone 7months ago that they needed to book so they would have plenty of time to save and have these discussions. My wedding is less than 90 days away.

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I wish I could say Im not going to let it get me stressed out if people book or dont rsvp or this or that..but the truth is, I am getting VERY stressed out.  We budgeted for about 70 people to go to our DW.  We announced we were having a destination wedding over a year ago when we got engaged.  Everyone acted super excited and told us they would DEF be there.  Then the save the dates went out in February, we got very little feedback from our guests on whether they'd think they'd go.  So we had to "guess-timate" for about 70.  Tomorrow our formal invitations are being mailed out...and I'm so stressed out I swear I find a new gray hair every day..I'm not even kidding.  Only 10 rooms have booked, and that was only because we harassed our immediate family members and wedding party and explained we couldnt block rooms (at discounted rate) unless there was a group contract for minimum 10 rooms.  I've received a phonecall or email or text at least once a week since the save the dates from people telling me they arent sure if they can go...flights are so expensive...they dont know if they can bring their entire families, blah blah blah.  This is all from the same people who jumped with joy when we announced our DW...and were harassing US for the save the date.  What makes me even angrier is I'm not asking these people if theyre coming or not..they know theyre being invited and feel the need to tell me all the time how expensive it will be.

 

Honestly...I really can't wait for this to be all over.  It's been largely a miserable experience.  My FI is also equally stresed, and its causing us to fight alot.  I sometimes wish we would've just eloped and not said anything to anyone about it.  But...I don't want to sacrifice the dream I envisioned from when I was a little girl just because people are ruining this experience.  

 

I do keep trying to remind myself that NOBODY will care as much about this wedding than I will, because its not their day.  But..it still BLOWS.

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Ugh! That's horrible. Well my wedding is two months away, and we have exactly 3 rooms (7 guests) booked...so I'm completely jealous of your 10! My sister (MOH) hasn't booked...my officiant hasn't booked. I just had to let the anger go. We scaled down everything...the ceremony, the reception. It's really just going to be more like a little group trip than a wedding extravaganza. And honestly....the people who have committed to going mean the most to me. For me, it kind of shows me who my real friends are.

 

Oh and to add insult to injury...3 different people have offered to throw me showers/engagement parties. One was my aunt who recanted her offer when she decided she didn't have enough money to do it. And the other two just haven't said another word about it. Pretty crappy. But it just goes to show you that a lot of time, people aren't doing and offering you to do for you because they care about you...they care about what's in it for them. Hands down.
 

On a positive note...I leave 60 days from TODAY to marry the man of my dreams and to start our wonderful life together. The two of us are on the same page, and that's really what matters.

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Sometimes families can be our worst enemy. My turn to rant, My Fi and I come from cities on opposite sides of the country. We both have huge, relatively close families, and so when it was time to pick where to have the wedding it was either Alberta (my family) or (PEI) his family. If we do it in either place and invite our friends/family I would want it to be summer or fall. Also we would end up with VERY uneven guest counts, maybe 80 of mine, 10 of his or vice versa. Also at the sometime one of my cousins got engaged and booked his wedding for AUG 25, so I have to now work around another family event. So after much thought we decided we would go away, and then have a much smaller wedding. We both completely understand not everyone can come, but his SISTER immediately said she won't come because she will have an 8 month old and you can't bring a baby to Cuba. (meanwhile my sister and another friend are both bringing babies). Thing thing that bugs me is that his sister didn't tell US she isn't coming, she told everyone else who told us. She hasn't said congratulations, sorry we can't make it..nothing. He also has some friends who all along said they were coming, even said I'll call next week with deposit, then just didnt call.now booking deadline has passed and rates are +$600 more per person, but we warned them! Long story short, we are thrilled to have 46 people confirmed, honestly that's more than we thought, but I agree people have zero courtesy.

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I know this was posted awhile ago, but I am new to this board. I just wanted to put this out there, that THANK GOODNESS for you all on here! I was and still am going through this and we gave everyone 15 months notice and we now have our WEDDING PARTY backing out on us. I've tried venting and understanding, but everyone (including other DW brides) have made me feel like IM the bad one in all of this and I shouldn't expect anything. I am by  no means happy that anyone else has had to experience this, because IT SUCKS, however, Im glad that Im not the crazy one here! I hope all is turning out for you ladies as it should. They say you lose a lot of "friends" when you get married, I just never thought it would be before the wedding!

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I know this was posted awhile ago, but I am new to this board. I just wanted to put this out there, that THANK GOODNESS for you all on here! I was and still am going through this and we gave everyone 15 months notice and we now have our WEDDING PARTY backing out on us. I've tried venting and understanding, but everyone (including other DW brides) have made me feel like IM the bad one in all of this and I shouldn't expect anything. I am by  no means happy that anyone else has had to experience this, because IT SUCKS, however, Im glad that Im not the crazy one here! I hope all is turning out for you ladies as it should. They say you lose a lot of "friends" when you get married, I just never thought it would be before the wedding!

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WOW LADIES! i needed this thread! wowza...going through the exact same things right now! We talked about doing a destination LONG before we got engaged and everyone always LOVED that idea. and now...mind my language but shit show is what is has turned into lol

My family is incredibly supportive and I don't think there is a family member on my side (including extended) that won't be there but his family is so mad at us about the price and taking it really personally and i feel terrible for the stress it has caused on us all! It;s been a rough 6 months of planning so far. But then I sit back and look at our details and remember I'm marrying best friend and thats all that matters..anyone else who joins in an extra bonus. But sometimes that easier said then done. I hate the feeling of friends avoiding you, and not wanting to talk to you about your wedding. I take offense to it lol I always get upset they would think that we would judge them for not having the money or just having different priorities. When you host a destination wedding you know that not everyone you love can make it.

But this definitely helped me soo much! So thank you for starting this thread and making me feel better knowing y'all are in the same boat.

Destination is such an amazing decision to make and I think people always think they need to pay out all this money for one day...but they dont look at the big picture, its not one day its a whole week of vacation. I also dont think people realize how much money you put into weddings that are local...they are pricy no matter what, so why not be in a beautiful location surrounded by people you love for the week with no worries.

I personally think we all rock for our destination weddings!

xo

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Originally Posted by maridr2012 View Post

 

I wish I could say Im not going to let it get me stressed out if people book or dont rsvp or this or that..but the truth is, I am getting VERY stressed out.  We budgeted for about 70 people to go to our DW.  We announced we were having a destination wedding over a year ago when we got engaged.  Everyone acted super excited and told us they would DEF be there.  Then the save the dates went out in February, we got very little feedback from our guests on whether they'd think they'd go.  So we had to "guess-timate" for about 70.  Tomorrow our formal invitations are being mailed out...and I'm so stressed out I swear I find a new gray hair every day..I'm not even kidding.  Only 10 rooms have booked, and that was only because we harassed our immediate family members and wedding party and explained we couldnt block rooms (at discounted rate) unless there was a group contract for minimum 10 rooms.  I've received a phonecall or email or text at least once a week since the save the dates from people telling me they arent sure if they can go...flights are so expensive...they dont know if they can bring their entire families, blah blah blah.  This is all from the same people who jumped with joy when we announced our DW...and were harassing US for the save the date.  What makes me even angrier is I'm not asking these people if theyre coming or not..they know theyre being invited and feel the need to tell me all the time how expensive it will be.

 

Honestly...I really can't wait for this to be all over.  It's been largely a miserable experience.  My FI is also equally stresed, and its causing us to fight alot.  I sometimes wish we would've just eloped and not said anything to anyone about it.  But...I don't want to sacrifice the dream I envisioned from when I was a little girl just because people are ruining this experience.  

 

I do keep trying to remind myself that NOBODY will care as much about this wedding than I will, because its not their day.  But..it still BLOWS.

I totally agree! I sit back sometimes and think wow this has been a terrible experience. I just sent out my invites 2 weeks ago and all these people who were planning their vacation are saying wow we didnt know it was going to be so expensive...i dont think we can come WHEN ive sent out emails about price from day one. totally a frustraiting experience! and my biggest pet peeve is when people feel the need to tell you...everytime they talk to you, how expensive it is.. I KNOW!!! haha i just want to scream sometimes!

 But it will all work out, go for your dream wedding, we deserve it.. (thats my daily mantra ;) haha )

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