I know exactly what you are feeling. We just had our destination wedding in January and we had the most amazing time. But the year leading up to it was not as easy. We had many friends who avoided us after we announced that it was a destination wedding and even some that totally never responded way past the RSVP date. We gave everyone 11 months notice - more than enough time. It was very hurtful and I got upset many times because this was a very special time of our lives when these people are suppose to happy for you and look forward to celebrating with you - not taking it away. I just didn't understand why they couldn't be honest with us and say "hey, I'd love to come but I won't be able to afford it, etc" whatever - just be upfront about it. Don't be a stranger after 10+ years of friendship. It made it really awkward to be around them and have our wedding topic be the elephant in the room. I was happy with those who told us straight up that they cannot make it. Okay, great we understand and now we can just move on.
The thing that bothered me most is that of the people who backed out, they are the ones who could totally afford it - most of them live at home so they don't have mortgage/big bills to pay for. They could definitely afford one week in Mexico. Oh well, their loss anyway because we had the most amazing time. And we told everyone, this trip is not all about the wedding - it is about them getting a wonderful vacation out of it. All we are asking for was one day out of 7. Many of our guests did their own excursions during the week and had a great time. We all still made time to hang out with each other at the pool and on the beach. Plus my husband and I got some alone time before and after the wedding. It was fun walking around the resort and seeing familiar faces and hearing how their day went.
After a while we just decided to not stress about it and focus all our positive energy on those wonderful people who booked and made it to the wedding. In the end, we had a total of 38 guests who came and told us it was not only the most beautiful resort they've ever stayed at, it was the best wedding they ever attended. They all wanted to extend their vacation!
My best advice to you is don't waste your energy on people who cannot be honest to you. Those who make it, are honest with you or at least really put in the effort to try to come are your real friends. You will have the most amazing wedding and those who are able to share it with you are the lucky ones. Happy planning All the best to you & your soon-to-be hubby!
Originally Posted by LPerry
Hey ladies. I guess I just need to vent...or maybe just find some voices that agree with or are going through some of the same things I am. My fiance and I are getting married in July at the Beach Palace in Cancun. It's #2 for both of us, so the big church wedding just didn't make any sense. We've both been divorced 6 and 8 years respectfully. We took a while to find The One. Getting married barefoot on the beach has been my dream for a long time, so now that I'm a grown up and it's my wallet....I'm having the wedding I've always wanted to have. We are both extremely excited and very much in love. Honestly, I would marry this man in a Walmart parking lot if that was the only choice. I really thought my friends and family would be on board, and psyched that we're having a destination wedding. Like...hey it's a chance to take an awesome vacation with my favorite friend, cousin, niece, sister, etc. But, I have to say though, I'm dealing with a lot of disappointment from my friends and family. I've been to destination weddings...and I LOVE them. The second I get the invite, I'm rearing to go! I start saving up...book my trip...and try to be as supportive of the couple as possible. I mean...that's what you do right? Well it seems that everyone in my circle doesn't really see it that way. I get the idea they're all put out that I would dare make them TRAVEL and to MEXICO of all places. (I mean, haven't you heard about all the crime and kidnappings??) Come on...it's not like I didn't give people 10 months notice. It's not like I'm making them spend $1000 a night. And I guess what's most upsetting are the ones who on the front end said "OMG...you should get married on the beach! I am SO there. We're all coming!" are now avoiding us, and giving crappy excuses for not coming. Is anyone else getting this kind of push back?
I know I shouldn't be comparing my wedding to the weddings of every other bride here on BDW, but I see the little tags at the bottom of posts that say "30 rooms booked!". 30 rooms booked?? For your destination wedding?? How did you get that many people to come? I can't even get people to email my travel agent! It's really frustrating, and my feelings are getting hurt. Oh, and BTW...every one of the people we invited can TOTALLY afford it! As a matter of fact, my friends who really can't afford it are making the biggest effort to try to go. Crazy!
Ok...of the soapbox now. Feel free to b*tch and commiserate with me!