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asiamarie1

AHR - I need some advice

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I'm in the same boat as you, we're getting married Dec 7, and we get home from Cuba on Dec 17th.  I feel like if we wait until Spring that is dragging it out WAYY to long, so I'de rather do it sooner than later so we can move on with our lives!!  (sounds terrible, but I've already been planning this wedding since Sep 2011), I really want to have the wedding, the honeymoon and be done with it!    But many of my family members cannot make it, and they are asking about a reception, so I'm feeling the pressure to do something for them. 

 

My Sister in Law recently called it a gift grab and that it's tacky...though my Mom, Dad and Sister are all pushing me to do the AHR and to register for it because why shouldn't I get gifts from the family just like all my cousin's did just because we're getting married away.  Up to this point, we didn't plan to register, and we're still not sure we will.    We've sent invitations and built our wedding website with no registry or gift information..so I really don't know.   I do not want to be called tacky, or greedy behind my back.

 

Grr..this turned into a vent.  Sorry ladies!

Originally Posted by asiamarie1 View Post

There are definitely so many options out there on what you can do. I am glad that we have decided to have a Welcome Back Cocktail Reception! Some of my friends and family were feeling stressed about not being able to be there, and our decision has given them some relief. I guess I didn't realize any one was stressing about not being there, when I clearly stated it's ok!!

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Our AHR is turning out to be twice the work of our DW :(

 

Choose a DW for the ease and simplicity of it and don't ruin that choice by basically throwing a second wedding.  It's a runaway train!!!!!  We were originally going to have a small cocktail party for the family that wasn't invited to the DW and now it's a 140 person sit down!  What. A. Nightmare.

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Our AHR is turning out to be twice the work of our DW :( Choose a DW for the ease and simplicity of it and don't ruin that choice by basically throwing a second wedding.  It's a runaway train!!!!!  We were originally going to have a small cocktail party for the family that wasn't invited to the DW and now it's a 140 person sit down!  What. A. Nightmare.
That's what I'm scared will happen!

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I am not having that problem thank god. Everyone know is will only be a cocktail reception and they all see totally fine with it. Plus my girlfriend is going to do all the cooking and ordering of the food and we have been able to keep the cost to a minimal....My centerpieces cost me next to nothing to do and I love them.

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I think you just need to ignore your sister-in-laws comment, because I truly believe most people don't think that way! I originally wasn't going to have a bridal shower or register either and most of my friends were like "why not?" you deserve it just like anyone else. And tacky..sorry but that's crazy having an at home reception of any kind isn't tacky!!! Now adays more and more people are going away getting married and having AHR..its more common than not!! Do what you are comfortable with and don't worry about what anyone else has to say. It's your CHOICE no matter what!!!

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Yeah, I don't think it's tacky, either, I was just bothered by my SIL's comment. To be honest I think she's tacky for saying so. I am going to talk to DF today and see what he thinks. There is always something to think about!

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Originally Posted by DwBride2Be View Post

 

Yeah, I don't think it's tacky, either, I was just bothered by my SIL's comment. To be honest I think she's tacky for saying so.

I am going to talk to DF today and see what he thinks.

There is always something to think about!

 

I agree I think she is tacky for saying it too!!! So how did the talk go with the DF? What did he think about it?

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He is onboard about Registering and the AHR!!   We just aren't going to send out Registry cards with the AHR invitations (DW invitations have already gone out and no registry info or gift info in there either), so basically if people ask, we will tell them and it'll be word of mouth only, but there will not be a blatant mention of it, so people can make up their own minds on what they want to do.

 

Now's the fun part of actually going and doing the registering!  Have you done that?   Where did you go?

 

L

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We too are going to do an AHR after returning from our DW. We live in seperate states right now, but we will have our AHR in his home state since that's where we will be living.. I'm at a total loss for how many will actually show but I was thinking of renting a place and doing light hor'durves.. <-- I have no clue how to spell that. :-/ And we will have possibly: water, wine, beer and soda's. then of course wedding cake and dancing.

 

We honestly don't have anything we really need so we didn't want to register, but my in'laws said well the whole family has bought gifts for the others married off so either your register for things you want or you'll get things you don't want.. So we will probably register at Bed, Bath and Beyond. I have a post on here will all the registry items I think everyone should have. :o) I can find it for you if you like.. but we won't probably post our registry info anyway, we'll just tell people if they insist.

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