yes absolutely, and even though our trek is only 20 - 30 mins, we're 1.5 years in (one year of living together), and I still wonder who these kids are sometimes. I heard it absolutely CAN take 7+ years for the new family to bond, but depending on your vistation, I think it could definitely take longer than that. and boys are tough, too (especially with adolescence plays a role). I don't worry so much about bonding with my FI's daughter (9 yrs), but his son (11 yrs) is a completely different story. sometimes it feels almost bleak and ominous when I wonder if there ever will be an 'easy' time of us getting along. the love isn't a guarantee, but if it's something you want, I think it's possible to get there.
is there a way for you to spend time with him without doing something too 'boy' (i.e. not paintball but maybe miniature golf?) one of my (grown) friends said she had a great relationship with her stepdad growing up. when I asked why/how, she said he used to take them to school and that car ride was where they bonded. I know it's WAY easier said than done (and I need to do more of it myself), but Dr. Phil advised finding a common interest - play his video games when he's not around, etc. -- that will give you something to talk about. it could be a great place to start. : )
good luck, and please keep us posted.
Originally Posted by xtenna
I am a SM to a 13 yo boy who lives pretty far away. It has been very interesting so far. I've had him since he was 4. I still feel like we are on different planets, I know things would be different if he lived closer. I feel like it is a game...does anyone know what I am talking about?