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Bridesmaid dress dilemma!!!


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#1 coming together

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    Posted 23 August 2007 - 02:16 PM

    HELP!!!!!!!!! Here's the story:
    I sent out a picture of a bridesmaid dress that I absolutely love. My matron's of honor (my sister's) loved the dresses, however my two bridesmaids think the dresses are for skinny people, and they think they will look fat. Seriously? I gave them an opportunity to pick their own dresses, but have failed to go out and look. I know we have 9 months, but I don't want to wait until a month before to get this taken care of. I am a planner. I need the girls to pick their dresses so we can then go about picking flowers, and make sure the colors all go together. I think the dresses are key. The reason I changed my wedding colors was because I couldn't find the right color of "tiffany blue" bridesmaids dresses. Please ease my pain. My 2 bridesmaids are all stressed about what they are going to look like in the dress, but are failing to do anything about their weight. I didn't pick them for their looks.. I don't care what they look like, but they are making it seem like I am setting them up for failure. Help, anyone.

    #2 RaydensMama

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      Posted 23 August 2007 - 02:19 PM

      Why not tell them that they have a month to find the dress they like. Make sure you let them know that you arent forcing any dress on them, but that the store will need time to make the dress and you want everything prepared.
      I am having this problem as well. My MOH is really small (size 0) while my BM is about a size 16-18. They are finding it really hard to find a dress that will flatter them both.
      Have you thought about letting them wear different dresses in the same colour?

      #3 bre

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        Posted 23 August 2007 - 02:26 PM

        Can you get them to try them on before they say no? Then if they really do feel uncomfortable, you'll be in a bridal shop with them and can try on other styles of dresses that work better for them.

        What about just choosing a color from a designer and letting them choose the style? That way, you get the color you want and they can feel comfortable.
        Bre & Pete
        January 19, 2008
        El Dorado Royale

        #4 PaulaV

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          Posted 23 August 2007 - 02:29 PM

          Encourage them to go try that model on ... I have found they look very different on every person. I have all shapes, sizes and skin colours in my wedding.

          I am having a hard time pinning down the right colour, so once I get that, they can choose one of 2 or 3 styles that suit their bodies. Is that an option for you?

          #5 Alyssa

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            Posted 23 August 2007 - 02:30 PM

            Quote:
            Originally Posted by coming together
            Please ease my pain. My 2 bridesmaids are all stressed about what they are going to look like in the dress, but are failing to do anything about their weight. I didn't pick them for their looks.. I don't care what they look like, but they are making it seem like I am setting them up for failure. Help, anyone.
            i have to be totally honest with you - it sounds like you are setting them up for failure and being a little insensitive to their needs. if your sisters love the dress and are skinny enough for the style, let them wear it and pick another dress in the same material and/or color for the 2 bridesmaids that will be more flattering and comfortable. i am sure they care what they look like and want to feel good and happy and be able to be there for YOU on the day of your wedding and not all stressed out that the don't look right / are uncomfortable / wearing a dress that really doesn't fit them / etc.

            since you do have some time, what about making a time to go together with at least 1 MOH and 1 BM and try to pick out some dresses in person?

            #6 Spazz

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              Posted 23 August 2007 - 02:34 PM

              I had the same problem. I have BMs ranging from size 0 -20 and the dress arguments were really stressing me out. My SIL even got to the point that she said she wouldn't be in my wedding b/c she didn't want to ruin it by being "too fat". I told her I didn't ask her to be a BM based on what she weighed. I asked all of the girls to come at one time to the store I chose that had a lot of dresses in different styles and try them all on and then to give their honest opinion on what they wanted to wear. My SIL is still not happy with the one we picked, but the other 7 girls loved it. I asked the seamstress at the store to add straps and extra material to hers, so she will feel comfortable. So, I still have 1 unhappy BM, but we're dealing with it.

              To add to what someone else said, I told them they could pick out different styles of the same color, but none of them wanted to do that.

              Sorry, I tend to ramble...my whole point is that you're not going to make everyone happy no matter how much you try, so go with what you want and try to work with the dress for those who are uncomfortable (I hope that doesn't sound really mean!).

              #7 coming together

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                Posted 23 August 2007 - 02:37 PM

                Quote:
                Originally Posted by PaulaV
                Encourage them to go try that model on ... I have found they look very different on every person. I have all shapes, sizes and skin colours in my wedding.

                I am having a hard time pinning down the right colour, so once I get that, they can choose one of 2 or 3 styles that suit their bodies. Is that an option for you?
                I think I may try to find the color by designer and then have them choose a dress. The only problem is one MOH is in Minnesota, the other is in New Mexico, one bridesmaid is in my town, and the other lives 2 hours away!! That's a problem when trying to find stores in there area that carry the dress so they can try it on...

                #8 coming together

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                  Posted 23 August 2007 - 02:43 PM

                  Quote:
                  Originally Posted by Mrs.B 2008
                  i have to be totally honest with you - it sounds like you are setting them up for failure and being a little insensitive to their needs. if your sisters love the dress and are skinny enough for the style, let them wear it and pick another dress in the same material and/or color for the 2 bridesmaids that will be more flattering and comfortable. i am sure they care what they look like and want to feel good and happy and be able to be there for YOU on the day of your wedding and not all stressed out that the don't look right / are uncomfortable / wearing a dress that really doesn't fit them / etc.

                  since you do have some time, what about making a time to go together with at least 1 MOH and 1 BM and try to pick out some dresses in person?
                  They live all over the country so getting together will not be that easy. I am not trying to by insensitive... I understand they want to look good, but they are who they are and they have always been the size they are. I think I am going to go with picking a color from a particular designer and then they can do whatever they want. I'm over it.

                  #9 starchild

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                    Posted 23 August 2007 - 02:45 PM

                    I had a similar issue, we did settle on a dress then the bm's lagged and it was too late to order it so we ended up with a new dress at David's Bridal. See if they have stores where your bm's live. They had them in CA and LA where mine were. Mine were all different sizes too, from size 2 a cup to dd cups, and they accomodated everyone in a dress that was flattering to them all.

                    Honestly it's your decision and if they don't like it they can bow out, but if you want to play nice see what they can find on their own and go from there. Make sure they order something before the 6 month mark so you don't have to scramble like I did.

                    #10 RaydensMama

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                      Posted 23 August 2007 - 02:46 PM

                      I think thats a great idea! As long as they are all in the same colour they will look great!




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