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Dry Wedding

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#1 AfricanVenus

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    Posted 24 November 2010 - 08:54 AM

    I was just wondering, is there anyone else out there having a dry wedding, but not for budgetary reasons? I looked around for this topic, but the bride was mostly concerned about her grandmother's level of comfort. My FI and I aren't drinkers, not even socially. I've heard it all before: "You just haven't found the drink you like!". It's not specifically for spiritual reasons, which does play a part, but I simply just don't like the taste like I don't like shrimp, lol. (Yea, that's a whole 'nother thread)


    I've thrown it out there that there'll be no alcohol at my wedding, and some have balked at the concept. Others have tried to persuade me to at least have it available. Since I'm staying at an AI, it is available in theory. However, it's not something that will be served. I guess I'm a little surprised that some of our friends/family know us well enough on this point, and yet insist there be a lil "sumtin-sumtin" anyway.


    I know it's a common phenomenon to have alcohol, but I don't like it, never have, and don't want it. It's a waste of money on top of my feelings about it. Anyone else struggling on this issue?

    Heaven endures and the Earth lasts a long time, because they do not live for themselves. ~~Our story endures: June 25, 2011~~
    Wedsite: kosha.projectwedding.com

    #2 islandbride8

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      Posted 24 November 2010 - 09:05 AM

      I'm not struggling with the issue b/c my fiance and I do drink socially.  However, I absolutely think that people place WAY too much emphasis on the alcohol at weddings.  This isn't a huge keg party from our college days, this is a commitment we are making between each other and God.  I think when people worry too much about not being able to drink at someone else's wedding, they take away from the feeling of the evening.  Any way you look at it, this is YOUR day and YOU decide.  If anyone there can't get through a couple hours without alcohol, like you said it's an AI resort so they can leave and get drunk if that's their priority.  I say kudos to you and your fiance for this wise decision!

      #3 Thomasjsgirl

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        Posted 24 November 2010 - 09:42 AM

        I'm in the "what's the big deal" camp! Yes, it's your wedding, but, you're also the hostess of this special event and isn't it the host's/hostess' job to make sure your guests are comfortable, enjoy themselves and want for nothing? I can't see how the inclusion of alcohol, which is a generally accepted staple at celebrations, would cause you such heartburn. It's not like you and FI are forced to drink, so why is it OK to force such a personal preference on your guests, especially since you've admitted it's not for religious reasons?    

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        #4 WeddingExpert

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          Posted 24 November 2010 - 09:49 AM

          I don't think anyone would have shown up for our reception if we went dry!  But I would respect the wishes of the bride and groom no matter what...












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          #5 AfricanVenus

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            Posted 24 November 2010 - 09:57 AM

            ThomasJsGirl (by the way, is that a reference to My Girl, the movie?): Alcohol is now a vehicle for comfort?! Uh-oh. And yes, I did say it was for spiritual reasons in addition to all the other ones I mentioned. I'm with IslandBride8 in what she said about it taking away from the feel of the wedding I'm trying to generate.


            And in all fairness, weddings always "force" personal preferences: from the food, to the music, to the location (i.e. a DW in the first place ain't fun for some people $-wise), etc. I don't see how the lack of alcohol is any different. We have weddings where there is no real food at the reception (i.e. dessert-only). Should people not show up because they're not really getting fed anything substantial?


            I think, for me, the purpose of a wedding is to celebrate two people taking a step together. How the couple chooses to celebrate is entirely up to them. I'm not asking my guests to sit on rocks while they witness my day, lol, so I think they'll be comfy in the virtual paradise we're doing our wedding in.


            I appreciate your thoughts, but I can't agree.

            Heaven endures and the Earth lasts a long time, because they do not live for themselves. ~~Our story endures: June 25, 2011~~
            Wedsite: kosha.projectwedding.com

            #6 knitgirl13

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              Posted 24 November 2010 - 09:59 AM

              I think it's rude of people to complain.  If they don't want to go, they don't have to.

              #7 sonyaj

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                Posted 24 November 2010 - 06:49 PM

                Interesting subject here. I'm on the fence about the situation. On one side is it's YOUR wedding day and anything you want should go. However, I think you may run into a problem with guests going elsewhere on the resort to get a drink, i.e. leaving your celebration to get a drink....yes, some people will do that, IMO.

                #8 karyan

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                  Posted 25 November 2010 - 03:21 AM

                  Honestly, I agree that you should have your wedding the way you want, and it that's with no alcohol then that's the way it is. I think you should be prepared if people do leave to get some though (even if it is rude to do). If you are going to be totally fine with that (and I mean, honest to goodness fine, and won't be upset) then there isn't a problem. If there is a chance that you might be upset if people leave for a drink, you and your FI may want to consider providing a few alcoholic bevvies. It doesn't have to be copious amounts, but maybe something for a toast.





                  #9 bmadzia1

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                    Posted 25 November 2010 - 07:45 AM

                    It's hard for me to be on your side here (as we are social drinkers), however, it is your wedding, and you can ask that there is no alcohol. 


                    However, with you going to AI, this may prove to be a bit problematic for you.  Your guests may act like teenagers (who run out to the car to have a drink at a wedding), your guests may run out to the bar to get a drink and pretend it's a virgin drink.


                    Now, if I may ask, if majority of your guests are social drinkers, could you not compromise? i.e. no alcohol following ceremony and dinner. But perhaps the reception have some wine/champagne and some beer available?


                    I will ask my guests to come to the ceremony sober (well, NOT DRUNK). I have also requested that the ones that like to smoke somthin... not to do it before or DURING the ceremony and dinner. And those who respect me and my FI enough - will show it by doing what we have requested.  I think you can request and advise no alcohol will be serverd, but at the end, like I said, you will see who respects you.


                    #10 lisa203

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                      Posted 25 November 2010 - 08:27 AM

                      I don't like shrimp (or seafood in general) either. Shrimp will be served at our reception because I know most of our guests will enjoy it but that is my choice. While I don't understand why you have such strong feelings against alcohol I do respect that it is your wedding so you have the right to things your way. You don't want alcohol then so be it. That said, I too think you should be prepared for people to make trips to the bar for drinks and, unless they bring it back into your reception, I would not see it as them being disrespectful.


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