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soontobemrsdow

I know people aren't made of money

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Since I've been at this for sometime let me tell you - that deadline means nothing to some people. I sent out invitations with an RSVP by date of December 1st since the wedding is in February. Figured that would give me plenty of time. Then I posted on our wedding website that the absolute end date would be December 15th. If we hadn't heard back from you at that date, then we figured you weren't coming. 

 

But people kept calling or emailing saying they were waiting for this or that and please understand that we really want to come. So I brought OOT bags on the assumption that a lot of them wouldn't be coming. Then my shower was last weekend and I was told by 10 different people that they were still planning; some have decided to use a TA service others are still really shopping around on Jetblue. I did however tell a few friends that if they tell me within the last month (which is now), they simple won't be getting OOT bags from me because I can't keep running around putting things together for people who so blantently have disregarded my effort to plan this wedding in a timely fashion. 

 

In the end, they'll get bags. But not the cool I 'heart' DR bags that we've made but just plain bags. Maybe the £1 bags with the british flag or something. Who knows...ok, my venting is over. And the thing to keep in mind is - your guests may be far better than mine. 
 

Originally Posted by Dominican Ally View Post


Now you're scaring me! lol. Maybe I shouldn't send out so many invites? We were basically going to send out STD's to everyone that we would invite to an AHR after, thinking most people won't come. Maybe I should just limit the STDs to immediate family and close friends....

 

It's great to have such a large turnout, but at the same time - if I had that many people, there is no way I can afford OOT bags for everyone, excursions, etc.

 

Maybe if I set an absolute deadline to book by, etc....then extra people can't just book last minute.



 



 

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I only sent invites to the people I wanted to come.  We wanted a small ceremony and so only invited what we knew was in our budget and whom we wanted.  I am planning to do an AHR and we will be inviting many more people to that.  My recommendation is to only send a STD to the people you truly want there!
 

Originally Posted by Dominican Ally View Post


Now you're scaring me! lol. Maybe I shouldn't send out so many invites? We were basically going to send out STD's to everyone that we would invite to an AHR after, thinking most people won't come. Maybe I should just limit the STDs to immediate family and close friends....

 

It's great to have such a large turnout, but at the same time - if I had that many people, there is no way I can afford OOT bags for everyone, excursions, etc.

 

Maybe if I set an absolute deadline to book by, etc....then extra people can't just book last minute.



 



 

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We plan to invite up to 150 guests, but I only plan to commit to booking 10 rooms on our TA contract. I don't want to end up paying for rooms no one stays in when everyone uses the cost of attending as an excuse to flake on us. Between us, our bridal party, and our immediate family, we should be able to meet/surpass that booking requirement. Better safe than sorry. 

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That's a safe call. I did the same and booked only ten rooms. The TA was just able to add rooms as they were needed without me needing to sign a new contract. 

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Thats a good idea - I may scale back my STD cards, and only send to those I really want there. I'll then invite everyone to the AHR.....although I have been undecided as to whether I want one...lol
 

Originally Posted by vbbbtk View Post

I only sent invites to the people I wanted to come.  We wanted a small ceremony and so only invited what we knew was in our budget and whom we wanted.  I am planning to do an AHR and we will be inviting many more people to that.  My recommendation is to only send a STD to the people you truly want there!
 



 



 

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Thats a good idea - I have my TA quoting prices right now, so I'll make sure she keeps the booking low enough that I don't get stuck :)
 

Originally Posted by vav11238 View Post

That's a safe call. I did the same and booked only ten rooms. The TA was just able to add rooms as they were needed without me needing to sign a new contract. 



 

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I also did not commit to any rooms I just had the TA get us prices and everyone was responsible for getting their deposits in and booking.  They communicated with the TA about the dates they wanted to travel etc.  I left it pretty open ended for everyone.  I still think we were able to get good prices.  I have been screwed over before in putting money down and people not following through, doing things this way was extremely easy and pretty much stress free.
 

Originally Posted by Cateyedcutie View Post

We plan to invite up to 150 guests, but I only plan to commit to booking 10 rooms on our TA contract. I don't want to end up paying for rooms no one stays in when everyone uses the cost of attending as an excuse to flake on us. Between us, our bridal party, and our immediate family, we should be able to meet/surpass that booking requirement. Better safe than sorry. 



 

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Ladies, I can't tell you how much ISH I've gotten from my FIL's about us not doing a group contract for all of the relatives and close friends.  Are they out of their minds?!!!  Despite me explaining OVER and over that my FI and I just cant take on the financial liability of people not paying the required deposit within 30 days of the contract being signed or else we get stuck paying for it, they just dont seem to get it, or care.  They feel we should take a leap of faith that these people will in fact pay their deposit, or worse yet...want us to collect the deposit from them and then do the group contract so we dont have to worry about it later.  Like really?  I'm not a bill collector.  I'm an effin' bride trying to plan a destination wedding...I have my hands full!  So I finally told them we would only do the group contract for our parents and bridal party only.  And, if anyone else wants to go in on a group contract, they can agree amongst themselves (we're all adults) to do a group contract on their own by contacting the travel agent, select 1 or 2 people to offer up their credit card as financial liability and pay their deposits in a timely manner.  That pretty much quieted them down.  LOL.  Once people realize that its about $200 of liability for each room (my TA advised $100 per person in room for group contract), with a minimum of 10 rooms...people learn very quickly to either shut up or do it on their own.

 

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cateyedcutie View Post

We plan to invite up to 150 guests, but I only plan to commit to booking 10 rooms on our TA contract. I don't want to end up paying for rooms no one stays in when everyone uses the cost of attending as an excuse to flake on us. Between us, our bridal party, and our immediate family, we should be able to meet/surpass that booking requirement. Better safe than sorry. 



 

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My carefully crafted response for all the negative people (and there are a lot of them): "Well you know we'd love to have you at the wedding, that's why we invited you. However, if you find it to be too much of a burden, financially or otherwise, I understand. I refuse to feel guilty though, because it's what we both want and everyone deserves to have the wedding of their dreams right?!" 

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