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Too big of a family


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#1 dania

dania
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    Posted 18 June 2010 - 06:54 PM

    Dilemma- How do you tell your family and closed friends in the invitation that they are no allow to bring more than one person (a date or spouse) .

    The whole thing is that my family and friends are looking forward to come to the wedding but some of them consist of five people in a family – I feel bad because most of them are cousins.

    My FI and I were going to send our STD today but after looking at our budget, there is no way we could be able to afford to all those people that are awaiting our invitations.
    We are paying for our wedding ourselves.

    #2 glenny05

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      Posted 19 June 2010 - 06:33 AM

      Are you paying for their flights and hotel? Because if you are, I never heard of someone doing that. We wouldn't be able to afford it if it was like that in our side either. Everyone is paying for their vacation , and we will be paying for the hotel's wedding package plus the stuff that we are bringing down there.
      Glenny & Anthony
      Gran Bahia Principe Punta Cana
      October 9th, 2010

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      #3 AishaB

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        Posted 19 June 2010 - 07:09 AM

        Hey Dania, I know exactly what you are talking about trust me, no stereotype or anything, but my family doesn't understand what (2) on an RSVP means, so they will try and bring other people. So I am putting the names of the people invited on the RSVP, plus the number. Also, it maybe a good idea to either convey information to your family in person, via your website or a newsletter that they are welcome to the bring as many guests as they like, however these guests will not be able to attend the wedding celebrations. Because some of them may want to bring friends because it is a wonderful opportunity for a vacation, however, that vacation doesn't have to include your wedding.

        I hope this helps. You can search the boards, this question has been raised before and there has been some discussion on it. Good luck.
        BDW the best place for my TYPE A personality!

        #4 carolina24

        carolina24
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          Posted 19 June 2010 - 01:52 PM

          we defianatly made it absolutely clear to EVERYONE that it was only the people named on the invitation that were invited to the wedding. our wedding package is for 20 pp and the cost is around $80pp for anyone over that 20. we have 40 people coming to the wedding because that's all our budget allows.

          we have several single friends and they didn't get a "plus one", they all know each other and can room together if they'd like, im sorry if that sounds harsh but if i have to choose between family/friends to invite, then there will definately be NO guests there that FI and I don't know. there have been people who are upset by this, but it's OUR wedding and OUR money, if they don't want to come they don't have to.

          bottom line...you have to put your foot down and be firm or things will really get out of control!

          #5 niecimar

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            Posted 19 June 2010 - 03:39 PM

            I stated when they didn't realize that the people on the outer envelope were the people invited that our wedding was a small an intimate affair. I also added that it was an adult reception. That way if families were trying to make it out to be a vacation they were aware that they had to find sitting at the resort or with a family member the day of the wedding.
            Denise & Ziggy
            June 5, 2010
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            #6 dania

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              Posted 25 June 2010 - 12:49 PM

              Thank you so much girls for your advices; I will definitely put them to use!!Otherwise, things would get out of hand.
              And Yes! I will have to put my you have to put my foot down

              #7 vcwedding2011

              vcwedding2011
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                Posted 08 August 2010 - 02:07 PM

                I love how you think Aisha



                #8 Mrs. Williams

                Mrs. Williams
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                  Posted 18 August 2010 - 06:50 AM

                  I completely agree with Aisha.  We both have very large families and we are expecting around 100 guests because we are doing the free wedding package at Dreams La Romana and a reception at the Seaside Grill, which covers 60 people.  We have to pay additional for the 40 over that, but that's all our budget allows for.  Our guest have been WARNED that they either have a plus 1 or they don't.  My Fiance's sisters were told that if they did not have a partner 6 months prior to the wedding, then they were not allowed a +1.

                   

                  We are not paying for their trip down there but we are paying for their meals and the bar service on the night of the ceremony.  They know at this point that I mean business.  Also, I have already explained that their guests or friends can come with them to enjoy the trip but they are not coming to the reception or ceremony, since I have to rent chairs for that as well.  If they insist on their person being invited to the ceremony and reception, I have also let them know that they will be paying for that person.  It will be $50 for that person to attend - that covers the cost of the reception and the cost of renting a chair.

                   

                  Harsh, yes, but it keeps us on budget since we're paying for this ourselves too.

                   

                  Hope this helps!






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