Need Advice -Kids at "no kids" wedding
Posted 30 March 2010 - 11:47 AM
I know that neither of my sister-in-laws would ever let a stranger in another country watch their children, and I wouldn't put them in that position. I say compromise on this one and let the kids stay. If the kids get tired, it's their parents' problem to deal with , not yours.
Posted 30 March 2010 - 03:01 PM
I am having all of my FI and my nieces/nephews come (ranging age 1.5-9) and all six are part of our ceremony. They are SUPER excited that they are participating. Some of our parent friends are coming without their kids for those who want some party time. But I agree with others, I would have a really hard time asking any parent to leave their kid at the resort and come to the party. I think you might have to come up with a different plan.
Posted 30 March 2010 - 03:13 PM
Posted 30 March 2010 - 03:19 PM
i don't think it's fair to ask people to come for a family vacation and then get a stranger to watch the kids. lots of people here have had some good suggestions.
Posted 30 March 2010 - 03:25 PM
I think the kids weed themselves out of the reception as Lauren mentioned. One adult goes back to the room with them and the other is left to "play" later into the night.
I am sure you just want everyone to have fun at your wedding but not at the cost of making someone uncomfortable. That is a decision that parents handle all the time when they have kids and have to decide who gets to have fun and who is the responsible one for the night.
I would let the kids come and not stress about it.
Posted 30 March 2010 - 04:00 PM
then again, i'd never say "no kids" for my wedding - they are part of the fun! and since it wasn't MY kid, it's not my responsibility! but since you don't want kids there and your in-laws don't want a babysitter, i guess you have to decide what is more important to you. people have offered some good advice and compromise options - i hope something works!
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Posted 30 March 2010 - 05:41 PM
Posted 30 March 2010 - 08:21 PM
thank you for all of your opinions, i will let you know what happens!
Posted 30 March 2010 - 08:57 PM
I would stick to my guns...no you dont HAVE to let your future niece stay for the party. plus imagine how other parents would feel. you have to do all or nothing with kids. if you make the exception for your future niece, then youre gonna have to let other kids be there as well and that's not what you want for YOUR wedding
we are also having a flower girl...and that's it!!! most of the people coming to the wedding have kids and there have been discussions about this, especially with "older" children. but they all know how FI and I feel and they are respecting our decision.
Posted 30 March 2010 - 09:20 PM
Also, I don't think it's unfair that the FSIL asked you if she could bring her kid... obviously they'd want to attend since you're immediate family, but they may not feel comfortable leaving their kid with someone they don't trust. I wouldn't miss my brother's upcoming wedding for the world, but if he asked me to leave my kid with a stranger in a foreign country, I would probably feel like I was in an uncomfortable situation too.
If you did allow kids, could you offer them a buffet-style dinner option to cut costs? I don't know too much about adding kids to the guest list - we only had one kid attend, so obviously it didn't make a big difference to our guest list/budget! We just did a plate of chicken nuggets for him, I know it was cheaper, but I can't remember how much cheaper.
Proud Mama to Evelyn Eileen since June 8, 2010
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