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Need Advice -Kids at "no kids" wedding

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#1 liljuicy

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    Posted 30 March 2010 - 01:20 AM

    Hi ladies. So, we have informed all of our family and friends that although they are welcome to bring their kids to Cabo, the wedding is no kids. We have one flower girl, my fiancee's niece, but were hoping that her parents would get her a babysitter after the cocktail hour. I have even told my cousin, who is like my sister, that she has to get sitters for her kids the night of the wedding.

    Now my future sister in law has told me that they are "not comfortable" getting a sitter, than their daughter is mature (she is 7, and I have known her since she was born!!) and that she wants to stay ( I am pretty sure everyone with kids would make the same argument). But she says that if we really want no kids, then her and her husband will "switch" watching their daughter.

    I feel like we have been put in a very awkward position. We can't really tell them no, or force my fiancee's sister and brother in law to basically miss the wedding to watch their daughter, But then I will also feel horrible that I am being a hypocrit by telling my cousin no kids, but then there will be a 7 year old there (the same as as one of her kids).

    Anyone have any advice? Pretty much i know we have to let our niece stay for the party (don't get me wrong, I love her!!!, but we were just trying to make the party adults only), but now I have to think about how to deal with others, if at all.

    Thanks everybody!!

    #2 amyh


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      Posted 30 March 2010 - 01:34 AM

      What if you works something out with the hotel. Do they offer a kids club? Can you provide activities for the kids during the wedding? I think you need to compromise too. A DW is hard for many guests and they are paying a lot of money to attend your wedding.

      #3 liljuicy

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        Posted 30 March 2010 - 01:39 AM

        I totally agree and definitly understand her position. They do have a kids club but not during the evenings (i will verify that, good idea to see if they can do something for us). They do offer certified babysitters. Its more an issue of what to do about the other family members that have their children. I guess we have to let them come too.

        #4 amyh


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          Posted 30 March 2010 - 02:03 AM

          You can work with your WC and see if they can designate a kids table and maybe get one of the certified babysitters coordinate activities for the kids.

          #5 Banana11

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            Posted 30 March 2010 - 09:00 AM

            I would have a hard time trusting a random babysitter that I do not know even if they are "certified" at a resort. It would be really hard to enjoy myself at a wedding and not worry and wonder how my baby is doing. I personally think if you are going to have the trip open to kids you really should also invite them to all of the events of the wedding day. Especially if the 7 year old will be there. I don't think there is a nice way to ask everyone else to get sitters. As a parent, the idea of getting a sitter in a different country while on vacation sounds pretty stressful. And if I went to all of that trouble and saw a child at the rest of the wedding events I would feel very slighted.

            #6 echo2_62

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              Posted 30 March 2010 - 09:44 AM

              Just a thought but do you happen to have any older guests (who might not be staying out as late in the evening as the rest of your group) who wouldn't mind watching the kids, especially if they have a movie on or are even heading off to bed?? We had the potential for my niece and nephew to be coming to Mexico with us but my sister is my MOH and her husband won't be with us so someone would have needed to watch the kids a lot and our parents were happy to take that on since they knew it wasn't going to be a very late night for them.

              It may still mean that the kids are around a little longer than you thought, but it might still get you some of the "adult only" time that you want as well.

              #7 MichelleS

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                Posted 30 March 2010 - 09:51 AM

                I understand where your comming from, hopefullythe WC has some ideas on how to make this work.

                #8 Thomasjsgirl

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                  Posted 30 March 2010 - 10:25 AM

                  I have to agree with Andrea. As a mom (even though my kids aren't "kids" anymore) I would have a real issue with a total stranger, in a strange country, watching my child. How many kids are expected to come to your wedding? If it's only a few, then may-be this is one area where you can compromise?? Attending a DW is already a huge commitment made by your friends and loved ones and asking them to leave out their children may be seen as asking a bit too much. Just my humble opinion, but as seen through the eyes of a parent.
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                  #9 Holly22

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                    Posted 30 March 2010 - 10:35 AM

                    I'm sorry but I would NEVER leave my kids with a stranger in a different country.
                    Not to sound rude but if someone asked me to do that I wouldn't go.

                    I like the idea of asking older guests that might not be out as late to watch the kids if you really are against it.
                    I have a 2 and 1 year old. I'm lucky because both both sets of grandparents and one set of great grandparents are going. They are going to watch them if we want to stay out late.

                    #10 michelle10

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                      Posted 30 March 2010 - 11:36 AM

                      We are wrestling with a similar issue. Our reception will be at the resort disco. After 10:00 all kids must be out. We are trying to put together a plan to have someone we know assist with kids after that point. My daughter will be 9 and I still wouldn't be comfortable with a stranger watching her!

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