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Honeymoon Phase...what honeymoon phase?

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#21 bnbrmy

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    Posted 26 January 2010 - 08:42 PM

    Ugh, I'm so sorry. I had the SAME problem with my FI up until a few months ago. I straight up told him, sh*t is going to change or I am done! There is no reason for you to feel the way you do. Tell him its time to grow up, he doesn't have to go out every night or whatever. Tell him how you feel. Good luck I know its a sickening situation to be in. Much love to you

    #22 Pastryqueen_Tanya

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    • 417 posts

      Posted 27 January 2010 - 02:04 AM

      Oh no! I am so sorry to hear. I had the same problem with my BF a couple of years ago. We broke up because I said I was too old for that. He agreed to some counselling and I have to admit I found it really helpful. But I think you need to speak up, because it is not going to get better until you do.
      So so so so sorry for you!
      I am hoping my wedding doesn't turn into a guys trip...I feel your pain!
      Love to you!

      #23 RonNMel

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      • 388 posts

        Posted 27 January 2010 - 10:44 PM

        Originally Posted by Karen Aucoin
        I guess the way I've handled it lately is to try to do more stuff for me and while I know that's good for me and I like that we have our independence I just think he needs to realize that while we may have the rest of our lives together I want to do things together now. That's always his line, "What's the big deal, we have the rest of our lives together to hang out," etc.
        Oh, I've heard that one before!! What I would reply is that we never know what's going to happen. Tragedy could strike us tomorrow, and then we'd regret not spending the time together before. Or just say that I don't want to live for the future, I want to live NOW.

        Good luck with all of this, hope you have a happy ending.

        #24 bnbrmy

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        • 218 posts

          Posted 28 January 2010 - 12:26 AM

          I wanted to add that things CAN change, it won't be over night but it can happen. Its in your hands to make it happen. As I said before I have went through the same issues. My fiance is 29 and I am 24. I took it for as long as I could and kept it bottled up, which kinda seems like what you are doing, and finally I exploded. I told him its gonna change or we are done. And stuck to it. He went out one night and acted like he was a kid againm I wouldn't answer/return his calls. Wouldn't see him. And he straightened up really quick.
          But you have to speak up. If he doesn't change at least you have tried, you know?
          I think once you voice your opinion he will understand better. And stay on his ass about it. It took awhile for FI to understand I was serious but he grew up and we are better than ever.

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