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Bachelor Parties....yes more than one :(


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#1 lil_reeves

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    Posted 21 December 2009 - 02:18 PM

    Hey BDW,

    So my FI went away with the guys this weekend. I was assured it wasn't his bachelor party, so you can imagine my surprise when my FI got home and told me they decided to celebrate anyhow and he got a lap dance.

    It totally caught me off guard and I was instantly upset. It hurt not knowing, it hurts having a half naked woman in my sexual space, and it also hurts that he was away from home in a hotel.

    I thought I was ready for this, knowing this is what happens at bachelor parties, but not this way. I would've never agreed to let him have it and not come home to me. Plus another little tid bit is when he drinks, he has no control and tends to black out parts of the evening. Now you can imagine why my imagination is running wild.

    So unfortunately that's not the end of it. He is going out with another group of guys in Mexico before our wedding. Which means, likely another lap dance.

    Once he realized how upset it made me he said if I don't want him to get another one then he won't. It's put me in a tough place, of course I want to say no, but should I?

    Is it really fair for him to have two lap dances? IMO one is more than enough.

    Please help!!! I really need to know how to deal with this situation. My Bachelorette party (yes I only get 1) is the same night and I know I won't have any fun if i'm stressing about this.

    #2 sunset78

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      Posted 21 December 2009 - 02:42 PM

      I don't think I'd be letting my Hubby go to a strip joint in Mexico... Do you know anyone that has went to a strip bar in Mexico? They are quite different from North America strip bars apparently.

      #3 ~Nicole~

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        Posted 21 December 2009 - 02:42 PM

        What if you turn it around? How does he act if he knows you're getting a lap dance, even if its just for arguments sake? DH and I have a mutual respect and the rule applies to both of us - no lap dances.
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        #4 sunset78

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          Posted 21 December 2009 - 02:46 PM

          I didn't want my hubby to get a lap dance either, and he said he wasn't going to get them... but quite a few drinks later and some of his friends (not my fav ones in the first place) got him dances. I wasn't a happy camper about, but what's done is done. Then I said that's the last he'll ever get, and he doesn't have a choice in the matter for future reference. His regualr friends never got him dances, and they don't get them either because they know their wives/gf would have been po'ed.

          #5 lil_miss_frogg

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            Posted 21 December 2009 - 02:57 PM

            I guess, I'm going to be the outsider on this issue. Lap dances are just that....lap dances. Unless he has done something in the past that leads you to believe that he will take the lap dance further then a lap dance, I would let it go. If it really upsets you, let him know how you feel. If he loves you, which I'm sure he does, then it shouldn't be an issue for him to say "okay, no lap dances in Mexico." If anything go to his best man and make him promise that there will be no lap dances and let him know how much it upsets you. I hope that everything works out for you.

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            #6 lil_reeves

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              Posted 21 December 2009 - 03:42 PM

              Okay...here's an idea

              What if I get the lap dance? It's thinking outside the box but since the boys expect one, and he's already had one, let's say it's my turn...

              The only thing i'm questioning is that sometimes the women don't want to give one to another woman. It might be different in Mexico though.

              I'm just trying to come up with a solution that will keep everyone happy.

              #7 shellk

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                Posted 21 December 2009 - 05:34 PM

                first of all chillax.i can understand how you feel and i will be exactly the same.but all you need to remember is HE LOVES YOU AND HES MARRYING YOU.i think its the shock of it thats caught you off guard because if you know before hand you can get you head around it before hand.you will be fine.but you need to make sure you have fun on yours tho you only get 1.

                #8 Tifuhhknee

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                  Posted 21 December 2009 - 05:47 PM

                  Quote:
                  Originally Posted by lil_reeves
                  Once he realized how upset it made me he said if I don't want him to get another one then he won't. It's put me in a tough place, of course I want to say no, but should I?

                  Is it really fair for him to have two lap dances? IMO one is more than enough.

                  Please help!!! I really need to know how to deal with this situation. My Bachelorette party (yes I only get 1) is the same night and I know I won't have any fun if i'm stressing about this.
                  I think one lap dance is enough! FI can watch girls dancing and letting it all hang out as much as he wants, but they better not touch him unless I am there too, lol. Not that I don't trust him. It just grosses me out. But I'd absolutely ask him not to get another one.
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                  #9 Erika J

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                    Posted 21 December 2009 - 06:42 PM

                    Quote:
                    Originally Posted by lil_reeves
                    Okay...here's an idea

                    What if I get the lap dance? It's thinking outside the box but since the boys expect one, and he's already had one, let's say it's my turn...

                    The only thing i'm questioning is that sometimes the women don't want to give one to another woman. It might be different in Mexico though.

                    I'm just trying to come up with a solution that will keep everyone happy.


                    This is funny on a few levels. I have been drug to a few strip clubs in my time and DONT YOU WORRY, they will give you a lap dance and you will be lucky if that is all you get! they are very aggressive.




                    Also, i do think you should just chill about it, it is no big deal, just a right of passage. It is a strip club and a stripper, not some person who he is going to marry.

                    #10 KAMAY11

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                      Posted 21 December 2009 - 06:55 PM

                      I am also going to be an outsider with this and say that a lap dance is just that: A lap dance!

                      I understand that you were put off since you weren't expecting this trip to be his Bachelor party but unfortunately boys will be boys. He is marrying YOU and loves YOU...

                      My DH went to a strip club while we were in Cabo and it didn't faze me...He was with friends & family members and HE CAME HOME TO ME!

                      I don't agree with putting limitations on ppl....If you tell him "don't get a lap dance" and he ends up getting one, would you like him to be secretive about it and be afraid to tell you or would you rather have a laugh about it together?? Vent to us or your gf's but at the end of the day, a lap dance is harmless! I always think its funny when girls get upset when their man goes to a strip club...Have you seen what some of the girls are like?!?

                      Sorry if I am being harsh but in the grand scheme of things, this seems silly.

                      PS: If he has done something in the past for you to feel uncomfortable about this or you're not sure if you trust him, then that's different.
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