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Guest assumes they can bring someone

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#71 RonNMel

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    Posted 17 March 2010 - 06:13 PM

    My MIL just did that. Apparently they were suppose to go to Cuba or Republic Dominican this year with two couples, but had to cancel to save the money to come to our wedding. So she asked us if she could invite those two couples to Cuba with us. FI sort of knows them from when he was younger, so he said yes. At least she offered to pay for their meals.

    #72 August2010Bride

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      Posted 17 March 2010 - 09:29 PM

      I actually had a friend invite herself to the wedding, when she was only invited to the AHR. She ran into my FI and was telling him how she wanted to surprise me by showing up at the wedding. Of course he mentions the AHR, but she still didnt get the hint. I had to contact her on facebook and explain how our ceremony is very intimate and that she may come, but will not be able to attend the welcome dinner or have a seat and the wedding. Hopefully she responds well and doesn't have hurt feelings....

      #73 ourvm

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        Posted 17 March 2010 - 10:17 PM

        Lalanyc - awesome tactic - I will have to file that away in case this happens to me. I sure hope it doesn't.

        #74 lalanyc

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          Posted 18 March 2010 - 12:19 PM

          Originally Posted by ourvm
          Lalanyc - awesome tactic - I will have to file that away in case this happens to me. I sure hope it doesn't.
          haha, well I have found that the best tactic is guilt :)

          Once I tell people that the purpose of going away is for us to spend quality time w/ them and not their friends, then they seem to "get it" a bit more...

          #75 rdsjcr

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            Posted 24 March 2010 - 12:16 PM

            Man- I have had so many people invite themselves and guests... never in my life! I even had people ask if they were invited to my bachelorette... how rude... who does that

            #76 meldal101010

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              Posted 24 March 2010 - 06:57 PM

              My TA called me the other day to let me know that 4 new people had booked for our wedding. When she said the names I didn't even know who she was talking about. Turns out my FIs Best Man's Wifes Best Friends (lol) are coming. Who knew?? Not us!!!

              My FILs have invited everybody under the moon & then says "oh don't worry, you'll get money as wedding gifts & can use that money to pay for all the extra people" Are you effing kidding me!!!!

              Ughhh....nothing much I can do, except vent about it on here..lol

              #77 CanadianLindsey

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              • 284 posts

                Posted 24 March 2010 - 07:20 PM

                We have had the same problem after specifically writing on our invitation info card:

                "Please understand that due to resort restrictions on our number of guests, we are unable to allow uninvited guests to attend. If you would like us to arrange for a room mate to save on costs please indicate in your reply card and we would be happy to do so."

                We mostly put this to avoid uninvited friends from our large group of friends from just booking the trip and showing up and for the singles to understand why they couldn't bring a guest. The funny thing is, my sister ended up being the only one who tried to break this rule! She just recently started dating someone after we sent out the invites and thought that because she was my sister the rules didn't apply. My FI and I are just not willing to open up that can of worms by allowing her to bring a guest and not every other single. As it turned out, we found room mates for everyone and it has worked out...we still have 8 months before the wedding for someone else to ask though!!

                The best advice I've received is that even though guests are paying for their own vacation, this is your wedding and(without being completely unreasonable!) you and your FI need to be happy and anyone who can't understand that obviously doesn't care enough about the two of you to even worry about! :)

                #78 Amymarie

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                  Posted 24 March 2010 - 07:23 PM

                  Wow, some people are clueless. I have not yet had these problems and i hope it stays this way. That must be frustrating ladies.

                  #79 CanadianLindsey

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                  • 284 posts

                    Posted 24 March 2010 - 07:31 PM

                    Originally Posted by ablj209
                    So far, I have only 1 uninvited guest. My MOH's mother has invited herself to Punta Cana. As she explains, it's a public resort, anyone can go at any time. This is fine, however, we have informed her that she will not be participating in any of the wedding events. She will not attend the sunset dinner cruise the night before the wedding, there will not be a chair for her at the ceremony or the semi-private reception. As for the rest of the week, if she wants to hang out with her daughter and the rest of us, then that's okay!
                    WOW!! Some people's lack of judgment and humiliation is unbelievable! I am just shocked that people don't understand that destination weddings are just as important as hometown ones, not some free-for-all family reunion or something!
                    The best thing I've heard since we decided on a destination wedding was from my crazy FMIL..."So is this a REAL wedding?" To which my quick thinking FI responded "no, it's just for show!" Oh how I love him!!

                    #80 Lady_Di

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                      Posted 25 March 2010 - 10:35 AM

                      We encourage for a single guest to bring a guest so they won't feel alone and we have no problem with that.

                      BUT, we have a problem with a guest who already is going with their spouse/relative/friend and still want to invite other people that we do not know. We have to draw a line somewhere because we have to pay $100 for a non resort guest so it adds up. We don't have that much $$ to pay for everyone.

                      Recently, we had to tell his aunt who is traveling with her husband that we could not afford to cover her sister/ brother and kids who live in Cozumel. We never met them so we could not understand why she wanted to bring them. She is staying with them in Cozumel.

                      I just told my godmother yesterday that we could not cover her sister/brother in law who I met as a child and obviously don't remember. She is already traveling with her husband so I don't see a big deal. They all are traveling together.

                      I hate to be a grinch but we have a budget so it is really tough. We want to spend that money for FI's relatives who are coming from other parts of Mexico and they are not staying at the resort so that money is well spent on them instead of people we don't know.

                      Sometimes, just have to draw a line.

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