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Keeping it simple, *kinda long*

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I'm not overly sure where I should post this,


We've decided to do a DW and it was met with excitement from almost everybody, which surprised us. Even FMIL was pleased, if you knew how old school European she was this would shock you.


So we decide on Costa Rica. It has everything we want. Beautiful beaches, rain forests, and even a volcano or two. (when I told FI this he said we have to go, he loves the idea of going somewhere with monkeys AND volcanoes)


We have decided we only want to invite people we:

1. Know of (no one we haven't actually see in 5 years or more and no ppl we haven't met)

2. Only people we think will add to our trip, not make it the week from hell.

3. Actually like and care about.

4. Are good friends with.

5. Can't imagine doing this without.


When I say this to our close friends they get it.

Fi isn't inviting his family, just his mom and bro. Dad and all are not invited. Period.

However my family doesn't really get it.

I know most of my cousins, but I'm a very different person. I like them well enough but I only see them at family functions. I just don't socialize with them. That said I have one I am close to. I will be inviting her but no other cousins. Shes fun and we get along great, she'll fit in nicely with our friends.


We are inviting our close friends. 8 or so people, maybe 10 if ppl have SOs by the time we mail our invites.


I can't seem to get around my aunts and uncles coming. They always travel and view my DW as an excuse to travel. Now don't get me wrong I like them but I don't think I want them to come with us.


Let me explain why.


Currently we are thinking of doing a private guided tour of Costa Rica. We are going for 10 days. We will be traveling to 3-4 locations and touring those areas. With just friends and family we are looking at 20 people.

If my relative I suspect will 'really' want to come are included I will be looking at over 30 people, probably around 38.


I don't want a 3ring circus traipsing about the jungle behind me. 20 ppl is going to be crazy enough with out doubling it. I want to keep it as simple as possible. As manageable as possible. As fun as possible.


I really don't want to invite them. but my family (aka mom and sis) is trying to get me to invite them and my other cousins. (i'm getting alot of 'your sister is having a DW and inviting everyone' yes but she is having it at an AI, not on a tour grrr....)


If I invite my only cousin I'm close to do I have to invite them all?

Do I have to invite my aunts & uncles?

If I do invite them can I politely suggest a few AIs they can stay at and help them find transport to my ceremony/reception site?


Am I crazy for trying to do this?


any advice is welcome.

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I am having this challenge too. We all do, I believe. Want to invite some cousins but not others. Want to invite certain siblings but not others (wierd, I know, but I have 20+ siblings and only a handful actually keep in touch with me and that I feel like I want there). I think when it comes to weddings, people should understand that not everyone can always go and you shouldn't feel you have to justify your guestlist to anyone.


If it helps you, I am not planning on inviting all my hundreds of cousins; only the ones I am close to. I am planning on only inviting 2 or 3 aunts/uncles out of 20+. I am planning on only inviting 5 siblings out of 20+.


Finally, check out this topic: http://bestdestinationwedding.com/forum/t41601


Hope it helps.

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Furthermore, your wedding is a different (i.e. a tour) and you are trying to keep a certain ambiance. That would be what I'd tell my family if I were you.

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I'm going to play up the physical, stress the tour thing (I mean really who liked being the kid at the back of a school tour you couldn't hear a thing. kind of important this time

"don't step here poisonous spider etc..") night time walks with 30 ppl not going to work etc. I also I will try to win over Dad and mom and forget about sis. No changing her mind anyway.


Thnx for the ideas SSNM

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Unfortunately some people don't get the fact that you aren't going for a holiday wedding free for all- my family are the same. Just look for my post re: what to say to family that are not invited. I am still having issues. I guess the difference is that my parents understand that I don't want certain family members there. Are you having an ahr? Tell them that will be the get together.

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