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None of my FI family going to wedding

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#11 August2010Bride

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  • 369 posts

    Posted 29 July 2009 - 05:57 PM

    We are also in a similar ordeal... We are inviting around 60 ppl to our actual wedding and only 10 of those are Fiance's family.. They more than likely won't come... Even though we have sent out our STD's 2 years in advance!! We will see... Keep your head up! remember its you all's day!

    #12 JayBee

    • Jr. Member
    • 238 posts

      Posted 29 July 2009 - 09:34 PM

      Wow, there a lot of people in this boat, huh! We were pretty upset because only 2 of our good friends are coming- and most of them were offered free accommodations, too. I also don't have many family members coming to the wedding, while my FI's relatives mostly live on the west coast, it's easier for them to make the trip to hawaii. I can only imagine how disappointed you all are with out any of his family making the trip... does he have good friends that are coming?

      When I was upset about people who aren't going someone on this forum told me to just remember that the day is about the two of you, and you can't let the people who aren't going take that away. The people who are there will just make it all the more special.
      .. it's definitely helped me get thru some of the guest-related stress

      #13 koolatta

      • Jr. Member
      • 321 posts

        Posted 30 July 2009 - 10:55 AM

        Thanks everyone.
        ebbica thats what hurts me even more. His friends are not coming either. His now 2 groomsmen (his BM was supposed to be his bro who is now not coming) one is his friend now but have been my friends since young. So it is not part of his friends that he grew up with and the other GM is my little cousin. He does have 1 friend who is going and get this..they only have known eachother for 4 months!! His fam and close friends arent going but this person who has become a great friend in a short time can put the effort to make it and is already booked...unbelievable. My FI was so excited when he booked and I was so happy for him :-)

        21 + Bride & Groom Booked!!

        #14 Jewels336

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        • 88 posts

          Posted 30 July 2009 - 11:14 AM

          I just want to say Im in the same boat. My FI family are the ones booking..Mine are the broke ones I'll admit we didnt give everyone a year to a year and half advance notice so Im not taking it to heart..but I too have been putting on a brave face with my family and friends..regardless it does hurt.
          I know its not intentional which is why I have been able to brush it off (somewhat) I really do appreciat the fact that FI's family will be there, and thankfully my sister and 2 girlfriends..MY BFF isnt even attending...but thats a whole other VENT that i wont get into..lol.
          I just wanted to say that regardless if no one else is there..the only one that truly matters are you and him..everything will turn out beautfully!
          Good luck!

          #15 ~*Lisa*~

          • Sr. Member
          • 2,287 posts

            Posted 30 July 2009 - 11:21 AM

            My situation is similar except that I feel bad for my dad. We've always been SUPER closer to my dad's side of the family, all live in the same town and my grandfather even lives with us. Anyway, NONE of them have booked and don't seem like they are coming. This makes me and especially my dad really sad because he figured at least one person would come. I don't know how to make him feel better. I know we'll still have a blast with my mom's family, whom we are close to, but just not as close. He says he's ok, but I still see the hurt in his eyes.

            As for FI's family. Only his mother (we are paying for her to come) and his 2 brothers with a gf are coming. He's ok with that because those are the only people he is close to in his family except for his grandmother who is 89 and won't travel.

            #16 EDSROSA

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            • 510 posts

              Posted 30 July 2009 - 08:33 PM

              I am in the same situation. I posted a thread about my fustrations as well. It sucks that people have to be this way but as people have been telling me, this is all part of the wedding planning package. I just dont understand it, b/c my FI and I are the type people that would do whatever it takes to be at someones wedding, especially if its family. I keep focusing on what the other girls have been telling me, as long as the 2 of us are there thats all that matters.

              #17 koolatta

              • Jr. Member
              • 321 posts

                Posted 31 July 2009 - 11:59 AM

                EDSROSA, I know. I feel the same way. I know its about the two of us but at the same time I know its going to hurt my FI not to have anyone there for him, especially his mom and brother. We are the type also who are there for everyone at their time of need and his family is never there for him. It is our day and its going to be beautiful, but I also know he is going to feel their absence, but what can we do right?

                21 + Bride & Groom Booked!!

                #18 Preciousmi811

                • Jr. Member
                • 342 posts

                  Posted 31 July 2009 - 06:46 PM

                  Wow MIL has alot of nerve...I want to tell her a thing or two so I can't imagine how you are able to keep it together. Sounds like MIL and others on his side are spoiled and use to you guys be the accommodating ones. How horrible that now a days being a kind hearted person gets you crapped on. Well it sounds like your doing the right thing putting your foot down keep it up!
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