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None of my FI family going to wedding

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#1 koolatta

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    Posted 29 July 2009 - 01:14 PM

    I am going through drama cause not one person and I repeat NOT ONE person from my FI's family is coming to the wedding eventhough we told them a year ago and even said just save $50 a paycheck. Everyone was all for it in the beginning actins very excited and as we get close we are down to 0 from the FI side. They all say they have no $$ but could afford PS3's and trip and cars and cosmetic surgery. IDK how to comfort him either since he is the one in his family who is there for everyone and when it comes down to it not one of them is ever there for him. But its his fam so what can I say. Especially since he is bery sensitive (as is most people) whne it comes to his fam. Just needed to vent before I scream or cry or doo both. The worst part is that he is broken hearted and is trying to be brave to them so I dont even think they realize how much this hurts him ( not that Im convinced it would make much difference) ...I'm so sad for him :-(

    21 + Bride & Groom Booked!!

    #2 NaM

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      Posted 29 July 2009 - 01:26 PM

      I'm so sad for him too. I can't believe nobody would step up and be there for him..and you! I'm so so so sorry this is happening and hope someone will have a change of heart!

      #3 ~Nicole~

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        Posted 29 July 2009 - 01:36 PM

        Koolatta, you're not alone! No one from my FI fam is coming and we only have 1 from mine possibly 2! I know its frustrating and you can't help but think they are selfish and not making it priority, but they will regret it. You just have to be supportive and make it all about the two of you. That's what counts! And like Natalia just said, hopefully some will change their minds and end up going.
        *Formerly Nikki07*
        My Planning Thread

        #4 ~Stephanie~

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          Posted 29 July 2009 - 01:39 PM

          Same Boat here! At this time we don't have anyone planning to come from FI's family. Now granted, he doesn't have a big family, but the few he is close to are not coming. FI says he is ok with that but I'm not and I don't think he will be when it gets closer. His best friend will be there, so hopefully that will make up for it. I feel werid though that its all my family and friends that are coming.

          Our wedding websitewww.mywedding.com/stephanieandmichaelbailey

          #5 shankd

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          • 272 posts

            Posted 29 July 2009 - 01:40 PM

            We just went through that also. We have been telling them for months that we were going away. Actually since Dec when my fiancee had a heart attack....Now that we booked the week and put money down to hold our wedding day, they all had no money. He lost it and told everyone how disapointed he was and hurt that nodoby from his familly would be there to see their only son be married....They found the money to put down for a deposit. The best way is to be honest, let them know exactly how much is means to you guys ( like they should know already...duhhhh), you'll see, they'll pony up the cash!!

            Be strong, and don't take it personally!!!

            #6 amygirl1169

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              Posted 29 July 2009 - 01:46 PM

              Awww, poor guy... we're going through a slightly similar situation... we had really thought most of FI's friends would come but most of them are saying they can't afford it or are going to wait and try to book last minute...
              So now he's only got his BM (his brother) and no groomsmen

              He too is the type that's always there for everyone else and now it seems no one is there for him... he gets burned time and time again because of that trait. But it's what makes us love them, right?!

              Hopefully some of your FI's family will pull through last minute. Good luck to you!

              #7 CrystalM

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                Posted 29 July 2009 - 01:50 PM

                No one from my FI's family will be at our wedding either. His dad has a hard time getting around (but can afford to go!), his brother and sister can't afford to go. He's not even bothering to invite anyone because of the cost - all his friends and family are in Cali. Flights are outrageous from Cali to St. Thomas

                The only person I wish was there is his dad, but FI won't give him the details about the wedding. He said he wouldn't be able to enjoy it because he'd be too worried about his dad the whole time.
                I have a fabulous photographer I can share in the United States Virgin Islands in late April/early MayP.M. if interested!http://img.weddingco....pvbh7hxc5u.png

                #8 koolatta

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                  Posted 29 July 2009 - 02:30 PM

                  Thanks guys for your support. Amy you are right that is why we love them.

                  shankd, I wish he would break, but he wont. When it comes to his family he turns to jello.

                  You know what really gets me upset is that the MIL has the nerve to ask for a big screen tv and laptop from my FI and his brother for her birthday (after she knew we were having our DW) and my FI got it for her and the brother who claims not to have $$ gets her the laptop!! Guess what she got my FI for his b-day this year..nothing as usual then asked for another big gift for mothers day that I put my foot down to cause we just cannot afford it right now. Can you believe it. Then this weekend she cant come to the wedding..It makes me want to scream. If we knew that last year we could have paid for her to go (although I must admit that it would have ticked me off a bit cause she has money for everything else meanwhile my fam dont earn that much and almost all of my immediate famly and friends are going)...I just dont understand her. Dont get me wrong, we get along but you are his mother and he is the only son who is going to get married (the other is gay) and you cant make it but you can ask for so much from it and he gives it to her even if he doesnt have anything..he'll find a way to please her...I am just really hurt more than anything for him. They have all really topped it off this time. Sorry...here i am venting again..lol

                  21 + Bride & Groom Booked!!

                  #9 YoursTruly

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                    Posted 29 July 2009 - 05:24 PM

                    Wow--good to know we share the same struggles in one sense but so unfortunate as well. I would nip that spending on FI mom in the bud. Its tight times right now, and a tv and laptop are not cheap items. Does she not work or something?

                    #10 roo66

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                      Posted 29 July 2009 - 05:40 PM

                      I think i would have to say something,dress it up a little even if you went with the um are you guys just saying that and then surprizing him because if you are i think hed prefer to know as hes so gutted hes unable to speak about it and sometimes surprizes arnt the best way to go.Its worth a try you can even tell him that you thought thats what you thought they were playing at.Are you able to go the the greedy mother and say look this is the cost blah blah and when she says no say somink like i just wish wed known and instead of buying the tv wed of got you a ticket cos memories last a life time the tv wont.Youve got to paint a huge smile so she dosent think your being confrontational.Do it x She needs to step up and be there x.I think her supply of expensive gifts are over.Shed be getting lots of unwanted gifts from me in the future

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