R.I.P Future Father-in-Law
Posted 06 July 2009 - 10:37 AM
Im trying to be strong and help his family out as much as I can but sometimes I dont even know what to say or do. FI is doing really bad. Does anyone have any words of wisdom, thoughts or ideas that they can share with me so I can help them?
Our wedding is 3 months away with trips paid for, deposits down, dresses made etc.... CANCEL? FI says no but I believe that we should. This is suppose to be a moment of happiness and it has become a nightmare.
Future Father-in-Law talked so much about our wedding. He was so happy that his son was getting married and he loved me so much. He was so excited so the wedding. Why did he have to go?
Posted 06 July 2009 - 10:41 AM
What I KNOW is important is that you DO NOT cancel the wedding. Trust me, the family needs something POSITIVE to focus on and they will LOOK FORWARD to having a reason to smile. FIL was so excited for the wedding, he would not want you to cancel, I know that! He will be watching from above and I am so glad you had his blessing.
My thoughts are with you during this difficult time!
Posted 06 July 2009 - 10:43 AM
I hope your wedding is still a wonderful celebration.
My condolences again.
Posted 06 July 2009 - 10:45 AM
I am so sorry for this lost, my only words for you and your FI are stay strong, together and remember him as happy for your wedding plans. IHe is now in peace and from where he is now he is sending you both his blessings, on your wedding day he will be in spirit and he wouldnt let you cancel for sure, so keep going, You can do something special to remember him on your wedding day.
A big hug for you and I'll keep you in my prayers. Let us know how we can help.
Posted 06 July 2009 - 10:46 AM
You FI is going thru a terrible time. He is going to be very lost for a while and things will be difficult for him. He will come around and having to do a few last minute this will help him. The best thing you can do it be there for him witout any demands. He is going thru one of the biggest and hardest adjust we have to make as people. Dealing with the loss of a loved one, especially when it is unexpected is hard. He will be replaying a lot of memories both good and bad for the next while. Try to make him laugh with funny stories about his dad. He needs to mourn but make sure after a while he gets out for something other than work. And also find a way to incorporate his memory into your ceremony.
A friend of mine got married in the Mayan and her father had also pasted away before she was able to marry. In his memory the included the candle lighting ceremony and also contiued down to the shore to throw rose pedals into the ocean as a tribute to him.
This of course is just an idea, but it will be important for everyon that you find a way to honor his memory on tha day. You will "FEEL" his presence there smiling down on all of you.
Posted 06 July 2009 - 10:49 AM
Big HUGE hugs!
Posted 06 July 2009 - 11:07 AM
I will definately be needing everyone help with ideas for remembering his father in our wedding.
Posted 06 July 2009 - 11:32 AM
Posted 06 July 2009 - 11:33 AM
You're not going to have a whole lot of wedding motivation for about a month, but I really recommend that you do not cancel your wedding. The family needs something happy to look forward to. And don't be concerned about it making the wedding a sad event because it won't. DH wrote a poem for his dad and his aunt read it and then gave a toast to his father and my grandmther (who also passed away while we were engaged) which gave us a great way to celebrate their memories. Obviously many of used cried, but within a few minutes, everyone was fine again.
As for your FI, all I can say is just be there for him. There will be lots of hugs. I told DH that I will be there for him to cry on whether it's in 10 minutes or 10 years. The whole thing is awful and sad, but in the end, you will be stronger as a couple and most likely closer with his family.
Please PM me if you need to talk.
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