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AHR : DH does not see the point...


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#1 Ayita

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    Posted 30 June 2009 - 03:11 PM

    So we got married legally in the US in February, and the wedding itself was in May in Mexico. Most of my friends from France could not come - because of kids, lack of vacation, budget, etc. So I'll be in France in august and want to throw a cocktail to have a drink with those who could not come. That would be my "AHR" even though technically, it's still a destination stuff.

    Anyway, DH does not see the point... for him, we're married, it's done. We had a first, a second wedding ceremony, people culd not come, c'est la vie.

    I'm trying to explain it's just a 2-3 hours cocktail, have a drink with friends to celebrate ! But he says : yeah, and you need a place, and booze, and food... it's all the same !

    In the end, he'll do what I want to do, but it will be more to please me or at best to avoid a lengthy discussion. I don't want to have him see this as a burden or something useless that he'll just have to bear with me...

    Not sure I will be able to convince him here

    #2 JulieG

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      Posted 30 June 2009 - 03:23 PM

      I agree with him, you have had a lot of celebrations already and having a party in France means you have to spend money again on the food, drinks, location, etc... when you have already done all that. Maybe you could just go out for drinks with your friends to celebrate, but not throw a cocktail party, does that make sense. But this is coming from someone who didn't have an AHR because I didn't see the point in spending all that money when we already spent a lot of money on our DW.

      #3 mich999

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        Posted 30 June 2009 - 03:25 PM

        I think that sounds like a great idea, just be patient with your hubby. At some point it does seem like the never-ending wedding, but I think when you actually get to the event, you're glad you did it - at least that's what I'm hoping : )

        #4 march132010

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          Posted 30 June 2009 - 03:42 PM

          I agree with him, we are doing a DW an ATR and that it, enough is enough for me neway -- good luck

          #5 sunsetbride1

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            Posted 30 June 2009 - 03:43 PM

            Quote:
            Originally Posted by JulieG
            I agree with him, you have had a lot of celebrations already and having a party in France means you have to spend money again on the food, drinks, location, etc... when you have already done all that. Maybe you could just go out for drinks with your friends to celebrate, but not throw a cocktail party, does that make sense. But this is coming from someone who didn't have an AHR because I didn't see the point in spending all that money when we already spent a lot of money on our DW.
            I 100% agree with Julie!!!

            #6 frazali

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              Posted 30 June 2009 - 04:40 PM

              Hmmm, that's tough. We want to celebrate as much as possible, but it can also be a question of more $$$ and when is "enough enough".

              I like the idea of informally getting together with friends, as opposed to another "sponsored" event.

              Whatever you do, it'll be fun - enjoy the company of friends and fam!

              #7 J&MWedding

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                Posted 30 June 2009 - 04:48 PM

                Quote:
                Originally Posted by MegaShay
                I have to agree with Julie. I wanted a DW to avoid all the stress and $$ of a wedding at home. Having a big AHR seems to defeat that purpose, but my future in-laws are insisting on it and paying for it. But if FI and I were the ones that had to pay for it, the DW would be it.
                I agree. I posted this somewhere else. We just cacelled the whole idea of a big AHR because it did defeat the purpose (at least for us). My FI was like, might as well just get married here and not even have a AHR if it's going tobe this big. I do agree with you MegaShay, that if my in-laws are going to insiste (which they might) then they can pay for it.
                ~jill~

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                #8 Ayita

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                  Posted 01 July 2009 - 11:55 AM

                  Well, I see your point, and I see his point. He says he does not want this to be "wedding part III". At first, I wanted to go somewhere and have drinks with everybody, but it turns out "everybody" is 70 people and I know no place that would welcome us all... Also, if we don't do this, the whole week is gonna be having drinks with people to celebrate - because people want to celebrate with us - so instead of being a cocktail, once and for all, it will be like a whole week of going having drinks and celebrate ! That would be more a "wedding part III" to me...

                  well now, it turns out the places i wanted to do it in are all closed... not helping...




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