To Invite or Not to Invite?

[StephanieMN]

I guess everyone really differs on this one so you should just do what feels best for you.

 

We were going to have an engagement party this summer but then decided to switch it to a pre-wedding reception.

 

A great deal of my family can't make it to the wedding so we wanted to have something here before we left and can't afford to host 2 huge parties.

 

We are inviting some people who can't make the trip or who are in the extended family. My fiancé comes from a family of about 300 and we only know a fraction of them! we didn't want to skip the party this summer as we really want everyone to meet so Tahoe will be more fun.

 

BTW our party is going to be "a Midsummers afternoon dream" and it will be outside at a park--so fun

 

I hope you can find a solution that works for you. I know I have never been offended when friends ( not all that close) only invite me to the dance after the reception. I think that is the equivalent of this issue--no big deal.

[Lizzy]

This is for Court and anyone else interested.

If you are having an AHR and inviting people who did not attend the wedding, these guests would be sent an announcement of the wedding ALONG WITH the AHR invite. Does that make sense? The AHR is almost always for guests who weren't invited to the DW or just couldn't go because of cost to them, or cost to the bride and groom. A lot of the girls on the forum have chosen a DW because they don't want to have a lot of people they never see at their wedding in paradise. But then Mom and Daddy say they want all of their friends and relatives to come and celebrate the nuptuals when you get back. So these people get an announcement that the wedding has already taken place and they are invited to come and celebrate.

 

So, that is the ettiquite (sp?) according to the Mother of the Bride! LOL

 

Lizzy

[Karen]

I think you'll find people will want to celebrate with you no matter what. Jay and I are eloping (in 29 days!!). Due to that we didn't plan on any pre-wedding celebrations and we didn't register at any stores.

 

However...I think more has been done for us than if we had a traditional wedding. My parents threw us an engagement party this past weekend and it was sooo much fun and relaxed. Our guests even got us some beautiful and generous gifts. This weekend, one of my best friends is treating me to a spa day. Another one of my best friends is taking me out for a fancy dinner. And more of my friends are throwing me a bachelorette party in two weeks. I am just overwhelmed with how much our loved ones want to for us despite us "running off" and eloping.

 

Bottom line, the people who love you will want to celebrate with you no matter what!! So don't worry about etiquitte, just do what feels right for you, your family, and friends!

[Karen]

P.S Jay and I are hosting a dinner party on our one month-versary at a Mexican restaurant and then doing a pub crawl after. We will be showing a slideshow of our wedding and having a traditional wedding cake. I can't wait!