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Martha

Who Should Pay for the Day Passes?

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Just Martha View Post
What do you mean about cultures? You think one culture says they pay for themselves over one saying we pay for it?


My mom says we should pay for them, FI's family says they should pay for their own....And, FI's sister and brother-in-law are probably the only ones that would not stay where we are.
I guess what I mean is in different families people have different ideas of what is considered acceptable. I don't really know why - i think a lot of it is just tradition. Here's an example that is only indicative of my personal situation:

Traditionally at Indian weddings (my family is Indian) guests give gifts of money to the couple (and in Parsi weddings also to the parents, brothers, sisters, etc...!). However I find that our guests who are born and raised here in the US prefer to give gifts (either of their own choosing or off a registry). So in the end we registered. But the sort of funny thing that happened was it confused the Indian side of the family - they suddenly weren't sure if they should send $ as is the custom or buy a gift off the registry. In the end they asked my mom and she told them basically that it was still acceptable to send $$. I know that has nothing to do with your personal dilemna but I thought it sort of described what i meant about different cultures viewing things differently.... if that doesn't make sense feel free to ignore it! wink.gif

Anyway so Indian weddings are also historically huge and extravagant. We're not having a wedding that is either to be honest, but maybe that's where my train of thought comes from.

I hope I haven't offended anybody - i certainly don't think anyone is a bad person for paying/not paying. Everyone is different so just go with your gut - hopefully very few people will stay somewhere else anyway!

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ITA with Kash on this one. Your guests are paying a lot of money and putting in a lot of time and effort to be your guest at your wedding. Many people simply don't like AI resorts for one reason or another - so what? now they're less welcome or going to be penalized because they have a preference to stay elsewhere?

 

IMO paying for your guests is the appropriate thing to do in this scenario. Of course you can encourage them to stay at your resort, but should they choose to stay off-site you should absolutely pick up the cost of their pass.

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Thanks, ladies! I appreciate the input. Guess we will have to see how many decide to stay at one of the other less expensive ones...If it is like 20, there is no way we could pay for each of them...hopefully not!

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Here is what we did: On our website we only listed Dreams and vrbo as accomodation options. If people were willing to do their own research and find a different place we will pay for their passes. It's sorta like the reward for doing work to come to our wedding.

 

That said we only have 4 people staying elsewhere so far. 2 have a timeshare at PBR so they stay for free. It would be crazy for them to pay to stay at Dreams. The other two just got married themselves and are buying a house - not a lot of extra money.

 

Overall I think this is a go with your gut decision.

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When I first read this post - my first reaction was - well they should pay for it - totally agreed with Courtney. However, after reading some of the posts I hear what some people are saying about some people not being able to afford it - but really wanting to come and so are choosing a less costly option. However, there is also couples, who you know for a fact can afford it, but have just decided to stay at a different resort. I don't think that you need to pay for them - it was their choice to go to a different resort.

Therefore - I agree with Kate - I think you need to go with your gut on it.

and I also think that it is tough to make one general rule about this - and that sometimes it needs to be decided on an individual basis.

But note - I am not saying that each couple should decide whether to pay for some guests passes and not others on an individual basis. If you do do that- be very careful as it could upset people. I am saying, that each couple, after assessing who will be staying at different resorts, and how many people are, should then make their own decision on what policy they will have for it. Basically I don't think that there should be a standard society etiquette policy for it.

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Just Martha View Post
Thanks, ladies! I appreciate the input. Guess we will have to see how many decide to stay at one of the other less expensive ones...If it is like 20, there is no way we could pay for each of them...hopefully not!
Good luck! Let's hope that everyone stays with you guys and then you don't even have to worry about it!

smile159.gif

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of course we wanted people to stay with us but did not expect them to...all scheduled group events like welcome dinner and wedding/reception we paid for day passes...

 

BUT if someone wanted to hang out at the hotel other days they paid their own guest pass.

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Good ideas! I think we def. should take it on a individual basis. Or maybe split the cost with one family since there are 4 of them? Who knows? Maybe they will all stay with us?

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I'm late on this, but I definitely think you should pay for them on your wedding day. If there's a welcome dinner the night before, maybe not for that if there's too many guests, or maybe you could have your welcome dinner at a restaurant in town so you avoid that cost (unless it's free at the resort). I guess the way I look at it is if I were having my wedding here, I wouldn't ask them to pay $100 to attend. I am asking them to pay to go to Mexico, but that's also a vacation for them as well, and they had the option of coming or not. I wouldn't want to throw an extra charge on top of it. Like Kate, I only listed Dreams as an option for accommodations in hopes that people would just book there. Right now it looks like we have one person who's coming who doesn't have a reservation yet, so I might feel differently if it was all 20. I guess if I was going to a wedding and paying a lot to go there, I wouldn't expect to pay an additional $100 to attend the wedding. Does that make sense or am I just talking in circles?

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