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What To Do When Girls Don't Put Out


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#1 KAMAY11

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    Posted 26 February 2009 - 12:51 PM

    LMAO----

    I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

    FOR EXAMPLE:

    One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'

    I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'

    So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

    'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'

    She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'

    Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

    The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfit s. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'

    We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis

    I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all
    dear, let's go to the cashier.'

    I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'

    Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'

    I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'

    And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'

    Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bi**h knows I'm smarter than her.
    D & K
    October 16th, 2008-Riu Palace Cabo San Lucas

    http://tickers.Ticke....7276/event.png

    #2 *Heather*

    *Heather*

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      Posted 26 February 2009 - 12:56 PM

      Hahahahaha!!!! That is way too funny!

      #3 Betsy

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        Posted 26 February 2009 - 12:56 PM

        Hilarious!

        #4 *Casey*

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          Posted 26 February 2009 - 01:28 PM

          That's hilarious! I'm contemplating whether to sent it to FI... maybe not. LOL!

          #5 KAMAY11

          KAMAY11
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            Posted 26 February 2009 - 01:29 PM

            Quote:
            Originally Posted by *Casey*
            That's hilarious! I'm contemplating whether to sent it to FI... maybe not. LOL!
            HA-I did.....I'm sure he'll just shake his head!
            D & K
            October 16th, 2008-Riu Palace Cabo San Lucas

            http://tickers.Ticke....7276/event.png

            #6 sunsetbride1

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              Posted 26 February 2009 - 04:05 PM

              Quote:
              Originally Posted by KAMAY11
              HA-I did.....I'm sure he'll just shake his head!
              I am SO sending this to FI.. he will love it!

              #7 BachataBride

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                Posted 26 February 2009 - 05:55 PM


                That's hilarious...I guess men aren't as stupid as we sometimes think they are!!!

                #8 Prettyhazardous

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                  Posted 02 March 2009 - 11:57 PM

                  OMG you soooo got that joke from a comedy special. My FI and I watched it last night. I think it was on BET or Comedy Central hahahaha.

                  #9 ikupoo

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                    Posted 03 March 2009 - 01:43 AM

                    That's so clever!

                    #10 ikupoo

                    ikupoo
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                      Posted 03 March 2009 - 01:43 AM

                      That's so clever!




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