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~Stephanie~

Who do you invite?

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We are getting ready to send out STD cards and are prepared to invite family and friends, about 50 people (I'm sure not that many will actually come). My problem is this... My mom has long ago stopped talking to her sister so they are never at family events together and although my aunt would love to reconnect with my mom, my mom just doesn't want to. So, I want my mom there, no question about that. But do I invite my aunt? I am inviting other aunts, uncles and grandparents so to not invite her would be rude and I do actually want her there. But I am afraid it will cause too much drama with my mom. My FI's mom can't go and my dad can't go so I really need my mom there! What do I do? Is there a way I can still invite my aunt and keep the peace?

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Sounds like a sticky situation but I would definitely talk to your mom about it. I dont think inviting your aunt without consulting her will cause a fiasco at your wedding. If you just explain to your mom how much your aunt means to you, and how important it is to have both of them there maybe she'll understand and put things aside for your special day. Good luck with everything!

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I agree, talk to your mom about it. Hopefully she'll understand. Maybe they will even find a way to reconnect prior to your wedding so it's not awkward at your DW.

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You obviously want her there, and it's your wedding. It sounds like your aunt is probably a loving person if she wants to reconnect with your mom despite past conflict, and she would probably be upset to be the only aunt not invited. This may actually be a good opportunity to bring the two of them closer together, so talk to your mom about it and see if it's ok with her to invite your aunt (you can use wedding etiquette as a partial excuse too, b/c it is sort of weird to only not invite the one aunt).

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I think you should go ahead & invite anyone you would normally invite to an "at home wedding" Obviously they won't all come, but who knows. We have found that some of our friends are going to Jamaica with us, but not close family that we expected to come. Maybe the lines of communication will be opened again & your aunt & mom will start talking again...your invitation could be the start to that. GO FOR IT !!

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I say go ahead and invite her too. But of course have a converstation with your mom about it. My family has had similar conflict in the past and for my wedding everything has worked out. I'm not saying that they're all huggy huggy again but they've learned to be at gatherings together and try to forget their conflict. It actually makes life a lot easier for the rest of us! good luck!!

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we have some close family friends who don't speak to one another but we invited everyone. Those who really didn't want to see some of the people going didn't book, but they thanked us for inviting them none the less

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Oh wow, I have a similar problem only it's with me and I don't want to invite certain family members. I've talked to my mom about it and she said to just invite them as a courtesy and they may not even go anyway since we're not exactly on the best of terms. But they're family so we have to extend them the courtesy.

 

Maybe your aunt may decide not to come since she knows how your mother might feel about her being there and if she is looking for your best interests, may not want to take the chance it will spoil your wedding. Good luck!

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She's your mom..ofcourse you want her there and its your wedding so you should invite them both and TELL each of them you are doing so.

 

If only for YOUR sake they should be willing to grin and bear it and I'd tell them as much when I talked to them. Sounds like your aunt won't be a problem, but seriously talk to your mom and let her know that you aren't willing to negotiate on either of them being present. You're her baby....she should want to make you happy on your wedding day.

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