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I love my Mom, but......


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#1 pearlygirl

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    Posted 08 January 2009 - 12:41 PM

    How do I tell her that I only want my dad to walk me down the aisle?

    When my BFF got married in October, she had both her mom and her step-dad walk her down the aisle (she is estranged from her father). Now my mom thinks that both she and my dad, who have been divorced for 15 years, should walk me down the aisle. Needless to say, they still don't get along and this trip will be stressful for me because of that. I was going to have my 9 year old son walk me down the aisle, but my dad would be totally crushed if he didn't have that honor. Anyway....

    I know its my wedding and I should do what I want, but how do I tell my mom that only my dad will be walking me down the aisle without hurting her feelings? Any suggestions are greatly appreciated!

    #2 tylersgirl

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      Posted 08 January 2009 - 12:45 PM

      I would just be honest with her that you would just like your dad to walk you down the aisle since it's traditional. Maybe you can make up a special "job" for her to do during the wedding too. Just a thought! Good luck

      #3 BachataBride

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        Posted 08 January 2009 - 12:46 PM

        That's a tough one - it's not contest for me. Both of my parents will be walking me - I would prefer just my mom, but I don't want to hurt my dad's feelings (they have been divorced for around 27 yrs!). Maybe you could do half & half - your mom could walk you half way, pass you off to your dad & he could finish the walk with you. Or maybe you could give her another job for the ceremony - are you doing a sand ceremony?? Maybe she could officiate that (I don't think the priest/judge/minister does that)? This is a really tough one - good luck!

        #4 YoursTruly

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          Posted 08 January 2009 - 12:46 PM

          I would explain that even though you are having a non-trad destination wedding you choose to stick with the traditional way of having your step-dad walk you down the aisle. Let her know that this is what you want and she should respect that given that its YOUR day. You can also compromise and have her walked down prior to the bridesmaids, honoring her and your FI's mother. Wish you the best!

          #5 ErinB

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            Posted 08 January 2009 - 12:55 PM

            My parents have been divorced for 26 years. They do get along very well. But, because my mom and I are so close, I knew I would have been all blubbery and crying if she walked me down the aisle. If one of us cries, the other is right behind! I had my dad walk me down the aisle and my mom did the only reading we had. It was really pretty May You Always Feel Loved ... by Sandra Sturtz Hauss, Inspirational, Motivational, Spiritual, Religious Prose, Poems, Prayers. Inspiration, Spirituality and Alternative Healing Articles, Alternative Medicine, Health, Internet Resources, SKDesigns

            Both of my parents were included is special ways.

            #6 pearlygirl

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              Posted 08 January 2009 - 01:38 PM

              Wow, thanks for the quick responses!

              This is where it gets even harder.....my mom and I are extremely close. We even work together, so I see her everyday. My dad and I don't have that same close relationship, but I do love him very much and I'm excited that he's excited to walk his only child, me, down the aisle. I don't think my mom will really mind me having just my dad walk me, but I don't know the words to use tell her. I suppose honesty is the best way to go.

              We are having a sand ceremony, but I'd rather have the minister officiate that. And we aren't doing any readings or having a bridal party. Plus, I don't think she feels she needs a "special part" in the wedding. She was just assuming they'd both be walking me down the aisle. So now I just have to get the nerve to tell her. I'm sure it'll be okay. Thanks for all the suggestions!

              #7 BachataBride

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                Posted 08 January 2009 - 01:45 PM

                Quote:
                Originally Posted by pearlygirl
                This is where it gets even harder.....my mom and I are extremely close. We even work together, so I see her everyday. My dad and I don't have that same close relationship, but I do love him very much and I'm excited that he's excited to walk his only child, me, down the aisle. I don't think my mom will really mind me having just my dad walk me, but I don't know the words to use tell her. I suppose honesty is the best way to go.
                I am my dad's only daughter too - and although I do not share quite the same fondness for my father as you do, I think it would really hurt him if I just had my mom walk me. Because of our closeness I really want my mom to be there with me - but I think she would be ok if I didn't ask her.
                yes....just be honest with her. You can maybe exaggerate a bit (maybe use ErinB's reasoning - emotions) to help explain it.

                #8 DanielleNDerek

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                  Posted 08 January 2009 - 03:11 PM

                  Quote:
                  Originally Posted by tylersgirl
                  I would just be honest with her that you would just like your dad to walk you down the aisle since it's traditional. Maybe you can make up a special "job" for her to do during the wedding too. Just a thought! Good luck
                  I think that's what you have to do. Say mom "I dont want you to walk me down the isle because i really want you to *insert her special thing*?" now you gotta come up with something. how about if you have her walk your son down the isle?
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                  #9 pearlygirl

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                    Posted 08 January 2009 - 03:29 PM

                    I like the idea of having her walk my son down the aisle!

                    And originally, I was just going to have my son walk me down the aisle, but later realized that my dad would be so hurt if he didn't have that honor.

                    So now I can tell my mom that Caden (my son) is disappointed about not walking me down the aisle and I'll ask her if she'll do it. That way, it'll seem like she's doing it for Caden and not because I'd like to just walk with my dad.

                    Because I think if I told her, "Mom, I just want my dad to walk me down the aisle" that she'd be hurt and wouldn't want a "back up" job.

                    Thanks so much girls. I love the brainstorming! We're sooo sneaky, but in a tasteful way :)

                    #10 BachataBride

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                      Posted 08 January 2009 - 03:50 PM

                      YAY! That sounds like the perfect idea!! Great idea Danielle!!! Sounds like you're in mommy mode already!! :)




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