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We're just not getting along right now- Is this bad? (Long)

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#11 ikupoo

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    Posted 18 November 2008 - 08:44 PM

    Well, everybody else said a lot so I'll make it short.
    Remember to say "Thank you", "I appreciate you" ,"good morning" and the most importnat- "good night" every day.

    It seems contradictory, but thankfulness puts your mind in perspective when you have negative emotions, especially when you're angry. You don't have to mean it, but say it to yourself anyway. Thank anything you can think of- thank that you're married, thank that you're breathing, thank that you have a job (many people don't righ now) My relationship became so much better after doing this.

    Good luck!

    #12 Maybride2009

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      Posted 18 November 2008 - 09:19 PM

      I agree with the rest of the ladies...moving in is tough.

      My FI an I have lived together for 2 years now and were together for 6 years before that, so imagine my surprise when we fought for the first 2 months that we lived together. It was TERRIBLE!
      It took us a good 2-6 months to adjust to living in the same house, you have to make a lot of compromises and make sure to communicate what is bothering you both..hang in there..it will get better...give it some time

      #13 JUSTUSTWO


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        Posted 18 November 2008 - 09:50 PM

        You are definitely not alone on this. Living together for the 1st time is tough! We never lived together either & moving in with DH has been an adjustment. I now say to myself that I wish we had lived together before getting married so at least I would've known what to expect.
        I thought that being together for the last 10 years meant that I totally knew him & his habits but ofcourse I find that I didn't & I've learned some new things about him along the way!
        And I totally hear ya about the redecorating. I used to want to strangle him when I would go look for something & realize he didn't have it. Like a whisk, or a plunger, or an ice cream scooper. I'd be like who the heck doesn't have a whisk Then I'd have to remind myself that there were lots of things he wouldnt have cuz he never needed them!! Talk about tough!!
        Everytime I want to run outta the house & never come back, I remind myself that I probably get on his nerves just as much as he gets on mine! Then I laugh & just try to get over it! (emphasis on "try").

        Anyway, you'll be fine. As the other ladies have said compromise & communication are key and you really have to pick your battles.

        #14 SunBride

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          Posted 18 November 2008 - 09:57 PM

          don't worry, you're not the only one NOT living the fairytale newlywed period. In my case it's really different, we were together 5 1/2 years before getting married, 4 years of that living together, 2 years of that living in our house we bought together. So really, we got married, and obviously NOTHING CHANGED. We are such a boring old married couple. There was no honeymoon / newlywed phase AT ALL. But then again, I never expected their to be. I knew that the wedding wasn't going to change anything, it just confirmed our commitment.

          So even though my situation is different, just want to let you know you're not alone. Sometimes I'm sad we never got our "newlywed/honeymoon" period because I hear other people say they did have that (they were in a different situation that us though, i.e. not dating as long or not living together)

          #15 Mrs. Martin

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            Posted 19 November 2008 - 08:27 PM

            So.......we talked last night about the situation! We were forced to talk earlier when I got home because his mother was there. And, after she left we started talking about other things and I casually brought up the arguements from the last few days. We both apologized to eachother for being short. We both talked about what's been the biggest obstacle since moving in, things like that, so we can better understand where the other is coming from. I know I need to learn that I can't be insulted if he doesn't want to snuggle with me on the couch when ever I want to and he said he will learn to leave me alone for a bit when I get home from work and driving in crazy traffic so I can rest.

            But, that's it! Thanks everyone for your input! I'm sure the hubby and l will be pissing each other off plenty of other times in the near future, but at least now I know it's normal and part of the whole "moving-in-together" phase!

            #16 Jacqueline

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              Posted 19 November 2008 - 08:39 PM

              GOOD i am so glad for u :o) talking is the most impt thing and not keeping your feelings inside :o)

              #17 Maybride2009

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                Posted 22 November 2008 - 01:54 AM

                This is exactly why you are a solid couple! No relationships come without bumps...it is just so important that you communicate.
                I love a happy ending!

                #18 tvt

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                  Posted 22 November 2008 - 01:38 PM

                  That same thing happened when DH and I moved in together. Only differenc was that we weren't married yet! Moving in with someone is a huge change, you each have your routines and the new person changes that up. Give it some time and I'm sure things will be back to normal once you establish a new routine of the 2 of you living together

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