FILs not contributing
Posted 27 March 2007 - 02:11 PM
Both of our parents are divorced and remarried. My fiance's father and stepmother who are very much loaded are not contributing financially at all to the wedding. We have been keeping them in the loop about all of our plans and they're totally fine with everything, but they have made no offer to help financially. While we were all in Cabo last month, we invited them to go with us to reserve our chapel and rooms for the wedding, and they didn't want to go.
My question is, then do I still need to ask them their opinion on the invite list? Obviously immediate family is invited so his family will be there, but as far as more distant family and family friends, we are not inviting.
We are not certain if we will be having a rehearsal dinner, that decision will be made down the road. But regardless, they have made no offer or hint at paying and have told my fiance that it's the bride's families responsibility.
Maybe I'm venting and maybe I'm a bit bitter, but it's not the 19th century, they can help as well, especially when they are quite capable of paying for the wedding 10 times over.
Thoughts on the invite list?
Posted 27 March 2007 - 02:26 PM
Regarding the guest list, I asked my FI mother who she (and her husband) wanted to invite. She gave me a huge list of distant relatives. I sent invites to everyone, but luckily no distant relatives are coming....but, FFILs good friends are coming.
Posted 27 March 2007 - 02:28 PM
|My question is, then do I still need to ask them their opinion on the invite list? Obviously immediate family is invited so his family will be there, but as far as more distant family and family friends, we are not inviting.|
|We are not certain if we will be having a rehearsal dinner, that decision will be made down the road. But regardless, they have made no offer or hint at paying and have told my fiance that it's the bride's families responsibility|
Who Pays for What - Wedding Etiquette
Not that you need to do things exactly like that, in fact most people probably don't. But that may help if you are trying to divide up the cost with your families? :-) Good luck!
Posted 27 March 2007 - 02:54 PM
Gotta love family!
Posted 27 March 2007 - 03:03 PM
It is your wedding and if they are not contributing, just remember it's your day!!! When you mention list maybe you can set your expectations on numbers and people so they know up front.
Posted 27 March 2007 - 03:04 PM
Posted 27 March 2007 - 03:16 PM
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Posted 27 March 2007 - 03:33 PM
My peronsal opinion is that if they don't want to contribute, then they don't get a say in the invite list. I would establish your guest list according to your budget, and if, at the end, you have room for them to add some people- I would just tell them how many people you're allowing them to add to the list. That would be pretty gracious about the whole thing...
Posted 27 March 2007 - 03:44 PM
but like the girls have said - if they want to go w/tradition, then yes, the brides familiy usually pays for the wedding, then i think the grooms pays for the rehearsal dinner (and honeymoon?). but since that doesn't seem to be the case - plan it your way, with YOUR list of people, and just let them do their own thing! i don't think they're obligated to pay, but then they don't get to say "Joe and Sally MUST be invited"
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