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#31 niels408

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  • 327 posts

    Posted 13 November 2008 - 03:38 PM

    I agree with all the ladies above..seems with economy & all right now we are all dealing with people not coming to our DW's...but we've had people cancel last minute, even this week & we leave in almost 20+ days! As well as, we've had tons of family complain & now decide not to come to the wedding due to costs or previous vacation plans. At first I was so upset, but then I am reminded that this was my & my FI decision to go & have a DW and we knew people wouldn't be able to make it. All that really matters is that you & your FI are there looking into eachothers eyes...don't let the people not coming affect how you remember this day. And...whoever WANTS to be there, will be there! :)

    Good luck & we all feel your frustration!

    #32 Angela139

    • Jr. Member
    • 455 posts

      Posted 13 November 2008 - 04:30 PM

      I'm so sorry Lizzie - I know EXACTLY how you feel. My mother pulled the same thing last week, for almost the EXACT same reasons! And thrown in to the email were snarky comments about how we were selfis to expect people to pay that much for our wedding. I was heartbroken, and wanted to call her immediately to hash it out - but my fiance wisely suggested that I not speak to her for a week, let her simmer in it, and hopefully realize she was wrong. It was really, really hard to do, but I did it, and lo and behold I got a voicemail almost exactly a week later apologizing and saying that there was no way she would miss my wedding. So maybe listen to your Mom and give it some time - hopefully he will come around!! I really feel for you, and hope it works out!!

      #33 amberagd

      • Newbie
      • 59 posts

        Posted 19 November 2008 - 03:16 AM

        OMG- my dad called me and said "why don't you just get married here and I will pay for your honeymoon." I was so crushed, I can't imagine him saying he already had 2 cruises booked and couldn't make it. I am so sorry love. I hope this all works out and he will come to his senses not to miss his little girl getting married.

        Eugene, OR

        #34 samanthag

        • Member
        • 896 posts

          Posted 19 November 2008 - 01:52 PM

          Originally Posted by lizzie287
          Thanks for your input ladies, I'm shocked at how quick I got responses!

          There was a question as to whether it would make me feel better to confront him about it .. honestly, no. I've confronted him about several things over the years, all of which involved his wife coming before me, and I've never won the argument. So really, at this point, I'm thinking this takes the cake and I think I'm finally ready to admit to myself what I've known all along - my father never wanted kids and just did what he felt forced to do. Now that I'm an adult, he feels his role as Dad has been completed. I really noticed this once I finished school - he paid my tuition and gave me grief over it constantly for the full 4 years. Once I was done, the emails stopped and all of a sudden it takes a month to get a very quick reply. It feels terrible knowing that anything is more important than his daughter, and frankly I feel like he's being very selfish. If he didn't want kids, he should have said so BEFORE he and my mom divorced, so now I feel like he made his bed, he can lay in it, he's just not man enough to do it.

          The biggest thing that goes through my head is thank Christ my daughter has a great father, and I'm so glad the old adage that women look for husbands like their father is the furthest from the truth in my case.

          To all of you ladies in similar situations, I feel for you as well and hope everything works out in your cases. For me, I know no amount of crying will bring my father to my wedding.
          You are not alone! I too am only daughter & you would never know! Ever since my father married my stepmom it's like he divorced me in the process! They are totally against a destination wedding even though they have more money than they know what to do with! It makes me sick at times!!!!!
          We just have to keep in mind that we have no control over our father's actions. We just have to worry about today & the life that God has put in front of us. It is up to us to break the cycle!!!!- And it sounds like you are doing that with your daughter!!!! :)
          Keep your head up & remember you are getting married to the love of your life & nobody can take that away from you!

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