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Advice on postponing our wedding..

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#1 09bride

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    Posted 31 October 2008 - 11:10 AM

    Hello ladies..

    I hope everyone is having a happy halloween!! Im not really sure where to post this but I am looking for some advice so here it goes.

    FI and I have been planning our wedding since June for next June 12, 2009 in St. Thomas. We have sent save the dates and 1 other updated mailing with travel info. Our site visit trip is next Friday (Nov 7)! But we just found out that I am pregnant! I'm a little concerned because I had a miscarriage in April @ about 6 weeks. We have decided that you cant plan to miscarry again and we need to go ahead and postpone the wedding. My due date is July 7 so I am only about 4 weeks along right now. Traveling when I am due in 3 weeks is probably not the best idea.

    I have contacted our travel agent.. and she hasn't cashed anyone's deposits yet so we are good on that front. Our wedding planner says that we can push the date back as long as it is in the same year (2009). So we would have to get married in probably December or possibly November.

    My question for you fabulous ladies is how do i let our guests know about everything? Is it appropriate to tell them everything? Do we just send them new info?

    In the back of my mind I am afraid to announce the pregnancy in case I do miscarry again..

    I'm sorry this is so long but thanks for your responses in advance!!

    #2 syl1115

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      Posted 31 October 2008 - 11:30 AM

      I don't think you have to give specific information on the reason for postponing. Just say "due to unforeseen circumstances, the wedding date has been changed to Dec. *****". Some may ask questions so you may have to come up with a temporary story until you feel more comfortable telling them about the pregnancy. I wish you the best of luck in your pregnancy and I'm sure everything will be fine.

      Our wedding slideshowhttp://www.facebook.....=1047086342460

      #3 Banana11

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        Posted 31 October 2008 - 11:38 AM

        First of all...congratulations!!! That's so exciting! I would agree that you don't have to give a specific reason. If no one has booked airfare or done anything that will be difficult to change it shouldn't be a big deal for them. You could send out a new save the date? I will say they are going to be curious so you may want to just go ahead and tell them to make your life easier later on :)

        #4 cantwait2718

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          Posted 31 October 2008 - 11:39 AM

          I agree. No detailed explanation needed.

          #5 jyda730

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            Posted 31 October 2008 - 12:04 PM

            Your health and the baby are the most important issues here. I agree that you don't have to give a specific reason for postponing. I think a short note with the new date and all pertinent information is appropriate. If guests have already made deposits, they should be given the opportunity to get a refund or apply it to the new travel arrangements.

            I experienced something similar when I got married. When I got engaged and everything was planned for my upcoming wedding my mother became seriously ill. We had to postpone our wedding for a year. We notified everyone with a beautiful engraved card which included the new information. The banquet hall was willing to push our date back a year because we had paid for everything, so this wasn't a problem. We did get married a year later and my mother was able to attend.

            Take care of yourself.

            #6 BachataBride

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              Posted 31 October 2008 - 12:16 PM

              Congrats on the pregnancy...I am sending good vibes your way!!
              I agree that you should postpone and without an explanation to your guests since they are not out anything (money, etc). But if you have really nosey families than you can tell your side it's due to something on FI's side & vise versa!! I'm sure everyone will be so elated when they find out the real reason!!
              Take care

              #7 09bride

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                Posted 31 October 2008 - 12:31 PM

                I knew you ladies would have some wonderful advice!! thank you all so much for the support!

                i have thought about putting a dual we're expecting announcement plus changing the date.. for the time being i have put a note on our website saying that we are having "location issues" so that will hold everyone off i hope!

                thanks again! yall are the best =)

                #8 BachataBride

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                  Posted 31 October 2008 - 12:37 PM

                  That sounds perfect!! Well done!

                  #9 KarmaB

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                    Posted 31 October 2008 - 03:08 PM

                    Hi there.. First I just wanted to say Congrats!!!

                    I was somewhat in your shoes a few months ago. My DH and I had planned our wedding for July and we found out in February that I was expecting. I had already put down deposits and had already spent a lot on my dress, so postponing really wasn't a good option for us. Plus, we wanted to be married before baby came.

                    Have you considered moving your date up rather than later? It really is easier to travel pregnant than with a small child. I agree that traveling 3 weeks before you due date probably isn't the best idea, but why not bump the wedding up a few months? I was about 5 months pregnant when we got married, and honestly we still had so much fun!

                    There is another girl on the board "Just Martha" that had the same thing happen to her and she got married when she was about 6 months pregnant too. She had her baby this week, but I'm sure when she gets back would be more than willing to share her experience with you as well.

                    Good Luck with whatever decision you make! And again Congrats!!!

                    #10 heather007

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                      Posted 02 November 2008 - 12:26 AM


                      I think that the idea of sending out an annoucement and postponing note is a very cute idea.

                      I'm sorry to hear about your past miscarriage; try not to let that scare you with this little baby. If you need anyone to talk to, feel free to pm me.

                      Once again, congrats!!!!


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