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Wedding budget down the drain

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#21 rodent


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    Posted 27 October 2008 - 10:58 AM

    Originally Posted by heather007
    I like the tv too much to sell it!!!! LoL.

    No, like money isn't really the issue. At this exact moment it is, but, as I said, he does make more, individually, than what an average couple combined does, so it's not whether or not we need to urgently sell off our possessions to come up with the cash. Plus, things lose so much value once they are owned, so I would feel very upset after spending so much money on something and not getting that money back.

    I know that, if we have to, we will take out a loan, then after the wedding, within a few months, we can pay it off.

    I also do blame myself, because I am very good with money, that I did not take the wedding budget in my own hands. I am the one who is doing all the buying/planning/etc., so in all actualilty, I should be the one controlling the money for it too, instead of always going to him to get it.

    This has definately been a huge eye opener for both of us. We both need to work on this together, and I don't want to blame him 100% for it, because that gets us, as a couple, no where. Thankfully, we caught it before it got much worse.


    ok that is different since you like the tv too. if everytime you looked at it, it made you angry about how much it costs, then I'd think it's worth selling even for 1/2 what you paid.

    #22 YoursTruly

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      Posted 28 October 2008 - 03:23 PM

      I agree that first and foremost ou may want to consider postponing the wedding and also going to see a pre-marital counselor. Knowing that this was a joint decision and what was required, it is rather odd that he would spend all the money on the combo of needed items and nice to haves. I too agree that this will carry over into your marriage and at tha point it is much harder to sort through. I really wish you well and in the end it will work out in the end. Best of Luck.

      #23 Emily&Matt

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        Posted 28 October 2008 - 03:39 PM

        My mother has a close friend who is married to a "spender". He buys it all and she hardly buys anything for herself, just her kids' clothes and groceries. Yet her husband always has to have the latest "things". It is a huge problem for them in their marriage. I think it's great you found out now rather than later. If you want to work on this problem, at least you can put some checks & balances into the way you handle your finances or for sure, it will happen again.

        #24 kevsgirl

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          Posted 28 October 2008 - 03:54 PM

          Wow, Heather. That is brutal... but I'm really glad to hear that you have a plan and are feeling more in control. Talking with the banker together is a great idea too - no more secrets! Good luck sorting it all out. It sounds like you are both really in love and want to make it work and that is more than half of the battle!

          #25 bumbles

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            Posted 28 October 2008 - 04:16 PM

            I am glad you guys are working things out! I really like this article from the New York Times (The Key to Wedded Bliss? Money Matters, September 10, 2008 ).


            #26 Hartyt509

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              Posted 28 October 2008 - 04:36 PM

              I married someone just like that!! I should have known when his wages went to his mother and she gave him an allowance lol

              I left him 9 months after we got married because I found out he had taken out loans in my name,credit cards etc and it cost me £30k to pay off!! It took me 8 years and some bartering to get the debt reduced off some people.

              Get it sorted now because you do not want to be in the same position I was. I was lucky I had mum and dad to live with otherwise I would have been homeless and no cash to pay for anything, I couldn't even afford the bus fares to work I walked! Needless to say that will never happen again lol

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