For now, I'm waiting for the results of my blood work, tomorrow at 10am.
After the exhilarating feeling of this morning I feel very down right now, because the nurse told me I could not work out, not even yoga, not have intercourse before week 13, and above all not travel, when I have my annual trip to return to France and see my parents and friends planned for next week. I've been depressed all afternoon. I know the baby is a good news but should I really be almost on bed rest ? I mean, if this is a bad apple, it will fall... even if I do nothing. I really need this trip, this is my only opportunity to see my Mom and Dad. I know it's a long trip but I have comfortable seats (Premium Coach, between coash and business - lots of leg room and a seat that actually does allow to sleep). Nurse said it was because of take off and landing. I don't understand why . I read tons of stuff about travelling in first trimester (and actually, I'm only in week 5 !) and they all say it's fine ! that there's not even an appearance of it being linked to miscarriages, except for stewardesses that worked more than 74 hours in a month in a plane (and they work, like, they don't sit and watch a movie).
I mean, I should probably cancel my business trip to Brazil planned to Sunday to Wednesday, but my much needed vacation ? I have a very stressful job ; I've been in the office until 10pm every day since 2 weeks due to crisis-kind of period (I start at 8am). Last week I had to go to Mexico and nest I'm supposed to go to Brazil. I am living in a foreign country with almost no friends. My family is thousands of miles away and I only see them once a year. I was really, really, really looking forward to this. I don't know what's better : the stress of not going (and staying at work because of course I would try to go later, in second trimester), or the take-off and landing ?
Nurse said that the Dr I'm seeing (who is really good) is very strict with her patients because he wants to put all chances on their side. He also wants to see them every week for ultra sound and hormone check. And that if I was not available maybe I should "consider not seeing him". God. I feel awful. I don't want to resent this yet to be born child but right now I kind of do and now if I miscarry, I will feel awfully guilty !!!
I hope blood works tomorrow show everything is fine and maybe I can get a clearance. I mean, pregnant women have a life, right ??? I don't even know if I'm an at risk pregnancy. Yes, I'm 37 and yes, I had a miscarriage before, but I did get pregnant twice since we started (in Oct 09, less than 9 months ago) and 20% of all pregnancies do end in miscarriages just because of chromosomal defects... so who said I'm not just perfectly OK ? Actually - the extensive blood work done 2 weeks ago show nothing wrong.
I read this on a frequent traveller forum :
You can't shake a green apple from a tree and you can't easily damage a healthy fetus. Live your life. If you have always ridden horses, run or flown, keep doing it. You don't lose babies because of anything you do, you only lose them because they arent growing right. That is nature's way of making as sure as possible that moms have strong, healthy babies.
This is so much the advise I want to follow right now !!
OK, that was a long rant, sorry. Maybe it's the hormones and I will feel better tomorrow...