Mother has problem with non-christian ceremony. HELP!!
Posted 15 August 2008 - 01:01 PM
Posted 15 August 2008 - 01:04 PM
I'm sure it will all work out in the end.. especially with your very supportive sister
Posted 15 August 2008 - 01:20 PM
I think this is an area where you should never compromise. This is the vows you are making to your FI and it doesn't really matter who else validates it as long as he does. I think you would really regret altering your wedding ceremony to suite your mother especially when you use the term "hate" to describe your views on the religion you were raised in.
Posted 15 August 2008 - 01:21 PM
Posted 15 August 2008 - 01:55 PM
| Originally Posted by LC_Rachel |
Carla- I have a question. So what if your mom considers you not married? In the big picture, how does what your mom thinks change your relationship with your FI?
Posted 15 August 2008 - 02:24 PM
| Originally Posted by adias.angel |
My mother emails this morning to let me know that she won't consider us married unless it is in a Christan Ceremony!!!
Fuck that. That is blackmail and anyone who is 'religious' and a good christian would not want to use intimidation, fear, blackmail and threats to get you to do what they want. In the name of 'god' of course.
I do not think you should have to do anything you don't want to just to appease someone or any group of people. It is not their fucking wedding!! The only thing that should matter on that day is you and your husband. Not what other people want you to do. People get so asshole-ish when it comes to weddings. Do this, do that, I don't like chicken, it's too hot, I can't wear blue, invite my friend, don't invite that person, blah blah blah blah. It's downright selfish and rude. People always try to make things about themselves instead of being happy and considerate of other people.
"So how do you really feel about this Jason"
Posted 15 August 2008 - 03:59 PM
| Originally Posted by adias.angel |
I think that is a great question. I had to stop and really think about that and you are right! It won't change a thing. Oh I am sooooo telling her that next time she brings it up.
Posted 15 August 2008 - 05:02 PM
In a perfect world, your mom would respect your views, share her thoughts, and back off.
As we all know we don't live in a perfect world.
I know it's a major challenge for you but ultimately you have to find a way to get that peace. Perhaps a good mediator would help.
I'm sure she wants the best for you but sometimes folks get so caught up with what they want that they lose site of your desires. Some ppl don't know how to back off so they impose their thoughts, beliefs etc on you.
Take some time to meditate on this if you haven't already and once you get that peace approach your mom "In Love" and express how you feel-not in a defensive manner. Allow her to express herself.
Ultimately, the choice is yours and you have to live with whatever decision you make. You're not always going to do or say things that will be pleasing to others. But at least find a way to keep the peace in some way.
Peace & Love
Posted 16 August 2008 - 11:13 AM
I think everyone has given you good advice here. What's important is that you and your FI have the wedding of your dreams, not someone else's.
Posted 16 August 2008 - 04:05 PM
This is my pet hate, I respect everyone's religion but its THEIR religion not yours if you don't choose it so she can shut her trap about it lol
Just say to her "oh sorry are you the one getting married?? I thought it was me" lol
There will be NO mention of god or anything like that in our ceremony or there will be hell to pay lol
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