Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
ejaxon

Grrr...the beginning of MIL drama

Recommended Posts

Hi All,

I'm hoping someone can offer some good advice re: future MIL/SIL drama. FI and I are planning an April 09 wedding at Excellence Riviera Cancun. For the ease of everything and based on all of my research on these boards, we decided we want to do a private legal ceremony before we leave. We did not plan on telling anyone b/c we knew feelings would be hurt. Plus, we see the legal ceremony as the "paperwork" component. Our symbollic ceremony will be "our wedding" and the only day that matters.

 

Well, long story short, future MIL put two and two together, did her own research, and realized we are not leaving enough time before the ceremony to establish residency, get bloodwork, etc. (We are all leaving for Mx on Sunday and the wedding is Mon) She is putting a huge guilt trip on FI about not being invited to the wedding. In addition to the guilt trip, she's passing judgement on it by calling it trashy. I'm trying not to take personal offense to that statement. I have a huge family. I don't feel its right to invite only his parents. If I open it to everyone, it becomes a spectacle, exactly what I was trying to avoid by having a DW. FSIL, in secret, told FI we should just invite FIL's and keep it a secret from my family as to appease them and not hurt my family's feelings. Are you kidding??what.gif

 

FI is totally in the middle. He doesn't want his parents there (at the legal ceremony), doesn't want to see me upset, but nothing he says to his mom seems to make a difference. She has in her head that we are getting married without her. I am trying my best to hold my tongue but it seems to get more and more difficult by the minute. I just wanna tell people to butt out! hissyfit.gifI would appreciate any and all advice. Please?!?! Thanks!

Erika

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I understand where we are coming from. We decided to just have his parents and my parents and are not telling anyone else.

 

I am suprised that you only have to be there one day we have to arrive on Tues for our wedding on friday. To go over everything with the WC.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

sorry you're going through this....imho, he needs to put the kabosh on this asap. he needs to tell his mom that he's not getting married w/o her, he's just doing paperwork w/o her. it's not trashy, it's taking precautions to make sure that you actually ARE legally married w/o getting stuck w/ a needle in mexico, it's less of a hassle, yadda yadda. plus, he should lay the "it's what i want, don't you want me to be happy" guilt trip on her. taking care of this is his responsibility at this point - not yours until you're married. again, jmho...good luck!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I almost feel like being spiteful and standing my ground, no family at the legal ceremony. I'm in such a state I'd rather have the judge's secretary be my witness. Just to prove this legal ceremony is only for the paperwork, and it doesn't matter. After all, its the relationship that makes the marriage, not the wedding, right?

 

The wedding, as of this minute, was verbally ok'd for the Monday, with a Sunday arrival. The manager gave the ok b/c we are so far in advance and he feels we can make all arrangements thru email and fax in the meantime. Until I sign a contract, I realize they can change their mind. But I'm hoping this is a done deal. And if not, the wedding will be Tues. I'll be a little disappointed b/c the date on Monday is significant for us. But it's only date....

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Excellence Riviera Cancun. Supposedly, it will be the 11 AM time slot. From what I've read, they do three a day. The bright side is.....at least I'm first

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Stressful-I am sure. I guess mom's just wanna get all oinvolved and be over protective of their sons? IDK-he needs to say something. You can tell him to cut the cord and step UP! Im joking but sorta serious...y'know? He needs to stpe up or she will pull this crap when you have kids and it can get worse :0

 

Good luck!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

That stinks that you are going through this.

We invited our parents to the legal wedding. No one else. If family can't understand that, then something is wrong with them.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

From what I gather, in most cities, you don't actually have to have a legal ceremony, you do not have to exchange rings or say "I do's", you just have to sign papers and have a witness. Perhaps you could try explaining that to your FIL's. That they are not missing anything, and they will be present when you have the ceremony.

 

You could say that you understand that they really want to be apart of the process, and you are sorry that they feel like they are being left out, but it's really not the case at all since there is nothing to be left out of. (Sometimes if you appeal to their concerns, it will be less offensive but still get the point across).

 

That is all I can suggest! Good luck! And remember it is YOUR wedding.

 

~Lori

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  


  • Best Destination Wedding Sponsors



    Facebook Pinterest Google+ Twitter
  • Posts

    • How to login Hotmail? Today I am going to show you how to login to any Hotmail account on Desktop and Mobile. If you have a Hotmail account but you don’t know how to sign in Hotmail, this post helps you login Hotmail easy way with pictures. If you don’t have Hotmail account, of course, let Sign up Hotmail. And now, Here is how to sign in Hotmail.
       
    • I and my partner are going to get married on August 12th. We met each other through a lesbian dating website. Both of us want that day to be a memorable day. We are in confused on which dress to wear for the wedding ceremony. Any suggestion on lesbian wedding dress? I prefer white, whereas my partner prefers of-white. Which one do you think will look good? Should we go for same dress or different one? Share your thoughts.
    • Choose the flower that is matching with the bride and gown dress.
    • Hotmail gmail login: How to change your gmail password and how to delete your Gmail account? GMAIL is the most popular emailing service, with almost had a billion people worldwide logging on every day to check their emails. Google has recently added a number of new updates to make it easier to secure your Gmail, as well as safely deleting your email account. How do you change your password or delete your hotmail account?
    • Việc tìm kiếm một phòng khám bệnh trĩ uy tín sẽ giúp người bệnh giảm bớt được cơn ác mộng đối với căn bệnh này. Bài viết dưới đây sẽ cung cấp giúp các bạn một số những thông tin về phòng khám bệnh trĩ Thái Hà http://benhtrithaiha.com
  • Topics

×