Grrr...the beginning of MIL drama
Posted 15 July 2008 - 09:01 PM
I'm hoping someone can offer some good advice re: future MIL/SIL drama. FI and I are planning an April 09 wedding at Excellence Riviera Cancun. For the ease of everything and based on all of my research on these boards, we decided we want to do a private legal ceremony before we leave. We did not plan on telling anyone b/c we knew feelings would be hurt. Plus, we see the legal ceremony as the "paperwork" component. Our symbollic ceremony will be "our wedding" and the only day that matters.
Well, long story short, future MIL put two and two together, did her own research, and realized we are not leaving enough time before the ceremony to establish residency, get bloodwork, etc. (We are all leaving for Mx on Sunday and the wedding is Mon) She is putting a huge guilt trip on FI about not being invited to the wedding. In addition to the guilt trip, she's passing judgement on it by calling it trashy. I'm trying not to take personal offense to that statement. I have a huge family. I don't feel its right to invite only his parents. If I open it to everyone, it becomes a spectacle, exactly what I was trying to avoid by having a DW. FSIL, in secret, told FI we should just invite FIL's and keep it a secret from my family as to appease them and not hurt my family's feelings. Are you kidding??
FI is totally in the middle. He doesn't want his parents there (at the legal ceremony), doesn't want to see me upset, but nothing he says to his mom seems to make a difference. She has in her head that we are getting married without her. I am trying my best to hold my tongue but it seems to get more and more difficult by the minute. I just wanna tell people to butt out! I would appreciate any and all advice. Please?!?! Thanks!
Posted 15 July 2008 - 09:08 PM
I am suprised that you only have to be there one day we have to arrive on Tues for our wedding on friday. To go over everything with the WC.
Posted 15 July 2008 - 09:30 PM
Posted 15 July 2008 - 09:30 PM
The wedding, as of this minute, was verbally ok'd for the Monday, with a Sunday arrival. The manager gave the ok b/c we are so far in advance and he feels we can make all arrangements thru email and fax in the meantime. Until I sign a contract, I realize they can change their mind. But I'm hoping this is a done deal. And if not, the wedding will be Tues. I'll be a little disappointed b/c the date on Monday is significant for us. But it's only date....
Posted 15 July 2008 - 09:31 PM
Posted 15 July 2008 - 09:40 PM
Posted 15 July 2008 - 09:56 PM
He needs to step up and tell his mom the way it is.
Posted 15 July 2008 - 10:09 PM
Posted 15 July 2008 - 10:16 PM
We invited our parents to the legal wedding. No one else. If family can't understand that, then something is wrong with them.
Posted 15 July 2008 - 11:22 PM
You could say that you understand that they really want to be apart of the process, and you are sorry that they feel like they are being left out, but it's really not the case at all since there is nothing to be left out of. (Sometimes if you appeal to their concerns, it will be less offensive but still get the point across).
That is all I can suggest! Good luck! And remember it is YOUR wedding.
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