Need advice re: good friend and date of DW

[Reba2009]

My fiance and I have been trying to decide where to have our DW. We finally decide on a cruise to Bermuda and plan it for 6/20, thinking those attending school, as well as teaching school, will be finished for the year. Just as we are about to tell our close family and friends, one of my oldest friends informs me she cannot attend because her last day of school is 6/25. She says she is not allowed to take off the last week. If there are no snow days, it may work but she will not know until the end of the year as to the REAL last day of school.I wonder is this the truth since she made a comment to me weeks ago about being to Bermuda twice and not liking it that much. We also have about 6 other teachers on the list, one of which is his sister-in-law. The question is...should we 1. ask these other teachers about the date? 2. change the date? 3. keep the date and say those that can make it, can make it and those that can't, can't?

Keep in mind, the place we like in Bermuda is booked the 2 dates in May so we would ahve to change the venue. If we make it 6/9, can the teachers take off or is it too close to the end of the year and exams. If we delay to July, is it too hot plus his BM may not be able to make it in July. This is turning into one big STRESS in my life and we wanted a DW to keep stress at a minimum! I would appreciate any and all input! Thanks, Roe

[Kat81]

If it is super important for you to have certain people there, I would ask those people about the dates.

[LadyP]

As a teacher i can take off when ever i want to. they frown on the number but it is a warning she can not be fired just a nasty note. That is in PA. they say that all the time. What if you get sick or a family member or jury duty? That is what sick and personal days are for

[Mandy]

I would check with the other teachers. If this is going to happen to a lot of them, you might consider moving the date. If it's just her, do not move the date. Then, someone else might not be able to come, etc, etc. Make a list of about 3-4 people (like maybe your parents) who absolutely HAVE to be there, and as long as they can make it, don't give it another thought. My own brother couldn't come because of work, but changing the date wasn't an option for us.

[KLC77]

I agree, you should pick a date that works for you uness its REALLY important for you to have her there. There will be someone who has a problem with every date you choose so you have to pick what works for you and you FI and go with it.

[nikkianddean]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mandy Make a list of about 3-4 people (like maybe your parents) who absolutely HAVE to be there, and as long as they can make it, don't give it another thought.

Great advice Mandy. Once you change your date to accomodate one person who is not a crucial part of the day (like not the bride/groom or immediate family) then it is a slippery slope. the reality is that not everyone will be able to make it and that is ok. as long as you and your FH are married in the place you want to be married nothing else matters. Good luck!!!

[Hartyt509]

As long as the date is good for you, FI and your parents don't change it - as the girls have said once you change it once its a slippery slope