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#21 beyondsmitten

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    Posted 01 June 2008 - 08:53 PM

    I totally understand your frustration! My sister who is also a BM wants to stay in a different place than the rest of the bridal party. She says she has many reasons why... blah, blah, blah.. I think the best advice I read somewhere to help make it through the planning is: smile and nod, smile and nod, smile and nod.

    So this is me "Oh, you want to stay at a different location (smile and nod) ok with me (smile and nod)" This is you "Oh, you think we should have the wedding somewhere else? (smile and nod, smile and nod) "We have our heart set on Jamaica. (smile and nod, smile and nod)

    #22 Ericka7885

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      Posted 01 June 2008 - 09:55 PM

      The funny thing is I have all ready suggested that she stay for less time, but her response is If I spend all of that money, I am staying for a full week. I know it makes no sense!! I can totally relate to the smile and nod response! That is exactly what i have been doing. I have a feeling that she just won't be coming after all and maybe it's for the best!

      #23 Yari

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        Posted 02 June 2008 - 12:16 AM

        I had a friend that picked one of the most expensive cruises for her DW, which I was a BM for. I didn't say a word...I saved my money and went on the best vacation of my life. Moral of the story a true friend doesn't put stipulations on being a BM.

        #24 beyondsmitten

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          Posted 02 June 2008 - 12:21 AM

          Getting married is part of growing up and adults realize that sometimes the people you think will be the most supportive and understanding are not while strangers can with a kind word or gesture show you more true empathy and understanding then someone you have know for years. Weddings can help you find a maturity and wisdom that you need for the rest of your life.

          #25 EricaG

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            Posted 02 June 2008 - 12:32 PM

            I agree that you should let her know that you and your FI have chose the RIU in Jamacia for YOUR wedding location. If she would like to stay elsewhere, she is welcome to do so, but you would also understand if she was not able to make it.

            I know that there are a lot of people that are paying for the day passes for those who are staying in other hotels, but I refuse to. Maybe I am wrong, but we picked a reasonably priced resort, and if people are going to stay somewhere else because it is cheaper, then I feel they can pitch in the $50 pp for a day pass. That is my 2 cents on that, and my Mom agrees with me, although no one is staying else where so far.
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            #26 DanielleNDerek

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              Posted 02 June 2008 - 12:34 PM

              I just realized your wedding date is 11 months away. She has plenty of time to save the money to go. I really wouldn't sweat it if she can't come. You would probably have a much better time with her not there bitching the whole time.
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              #27 Copita

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                Posted 02 June 2008 - 12:41 PM

                [QUOTE=Ericka7885;404141The real kicker is half are not even in Jamaica! She told me that I should just go to Cancun or DR because they are cheaper and why should everyone pay more money just to go to Jamaica. I was speechless! This is supposed to be mine and my fiance's day! [/QUOTE]

                OMGOSH. She sounds like the MOH from hell!
                Tell her nicely (when you've calmed down a bit--cause Lord knows I would go off in the moment!!!), that you appreciate her "opinion" but you have decided to have your wedding at RIU Ocho Rios and that is where it is going to be. If she says one more word, advise her that when planning, you guys knew that not everyone would be able to make it and that is just one of things that comes with a DW wedding. NUFF SAID.
                You do not owe her anything further or changing your location, or even COUNTRY to appease her.... that is F*(&W#*($&@#(*$& ridiculous!
                If she say sshe cannot make it, then that is fine, you will have to find someone else to replace her. And honestly, if she's giving you this much grief about hosting your wedding the place where YOU want to, it maybe better to find someono eelse to fill her spot! :)
                GOod luck and DO NOT back down, woman! It's your day, your wedding, your choice!

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