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Wishing well / Corbeille Nuptial


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#1 Virg

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    Posted 13 May 2008 - 02:36 PM

    So I get this beautiful wedding invitation in the mail yesterday, for a person that I will refer to as Friend X.
    They have been together for over 7 years, so it is about time!! The invite is beautifully scripted. The couple is relatively well established, bought a condo last year, both sets of parents are well off, etc.

    Yet, on their invite they indicate that a wishing well will be available and all gifts will be greatly enjoyed and appreciated.

    I am wondering is it ok to ask for money, if they have been together this long?? My first instinct is NO! For the following reasons:

    a) they make/have more money than me
    B) it is tacky
    c) they just bought a condo, there has got to be something they need! - they could have registered their honeymoon for Pete' sake!

    So am I wrong to be annoyed?
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    #2 JennyK

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      Posted 13 May 2008 - 02:37 PM

      How did they word that they wanted money?

      #3 cheese_diva

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        Posted 13 May 2008 - 02:51 PM

        Asking for anything on an invite is tacky.. unless it's a shower invite thrown by someone else.
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        #4 Maura

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        Posted 13 May 2008 - 03:07 PM

        i agree with what angela said.

        if i were you, i would pick out a gift on my own to give them that i felt was in the appropriate price range that you want to spend. that way you arent giving in to their crass request for $, but you are still being thoughtful. some people just dont get that asking for gifts is tacky as hell!

        #5 Karen

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          Posted 13 May 2008 - 03:34 PM

          Everything I have ever read regarding gift giving etiquitte is that one should NEVER expect a gift. Gifts are not reguired, they are given out of generosity no matter the amount or value. The assumption should be that wedding guests are being invited because their presence would be appreciated in celebraing with the couple. A wedding should never be looked at as a money making venture. That mentality annoys me and is so rude/ disrepectful. Registries are fine because they are gift suggestions. Yeah, mentioning gifts in the wedding invite is just a no no. Why didn't they just include donation cards? Sorry if that's harsh. This is just a pet peeve of mine.
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          #6 Ana

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          Posted 13 May 2008 - 04:06 PM

          I would be interested to know how they worded that :S it seems like a really awkward request to put on an invite. Then again if they just bought a condo and have been living together for a while they probably already own everything they need...so it wouldn't make much sense for them to register. And maybe a parent, or even them directly, have already booked and paid for the honeymoon. I think its ok to wish for money rather than get a bunch of useless things, but I have to agree that wording that on an invite is a bit tacky - depending on how they stated it.

          #7 Ana

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          Posted 13 May 2008 - 04:08 PM

          Quote:
          Originally Posted by lucky k72
          Everything I have ever read regarding gift giving etiquitte is that one should NEVER expect a gift. Gifts are not reguired, they are given out of generosity no matter the amount or value. The assumption should be that wedding guests are being invited because their presence would be appreciated in celebraing with the couple. A wedding should never be looked at as a money making venture. That mentality annoys me and is so rude/ disrepectful. Registries are fine because they are gift suggestions. Yeah, mentioning gifts in the wedding invite is just a no no. Why didn't they just include donation cards? Sorry if that's harsh. This is just a pet peeve of mine.
          What are "donations cards"?? sorry I'm obviously clueless to this wedding gift stuff..haha!

          #8 Virg

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            Posted 13 May 2008 - 10:43 PM

            It was actually worded in French. At the beginning of the invite it says: IT has been 9 years of tender moments and love. We have decided to celebrate our love in grand style.... (details of the ceremony)...a nuptual wishing well will be available for your convenience during the reception. Rest assured that your presence and your generosity will be great appreciated.

            That is basically what it says.

            I think it could be a cultural thing. What is tack y to some, may not be tacky to others. I am attending a lebanese wedding this summer, and the bride only register a few gifts for her side of the guests (as they are french-english canadians). And the grooms side of the family just expects (and this is understood) to give money.
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            #9 alex

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              Posted 13 May 2008 - 10:50 PM

              If this is a French-Canadian couple we're talking about & most of the guests are French-Canadian also then I think it might be a tradition/culturally accepted thing to do. I live in a smallish city (>50,000) & over half the population is French & I've seen this commonly done around here.

              #10 ErinB

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                Posted 13 May 2008 - 11:31 PM

                I would hope it is a cultural thing. I think printing registries, etc. is tacky and completely against every kind of etiquette I ever learned. I have seen wishing wells, money trees, dollar dances, etc. and if your guests are accustomed to this, I don't see why you would print it.

                I would be extremely annoyed!




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