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MOH drama


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#1 LadyCheese

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    Posted 06 March 2008 - 10:57 PM

    My cousin is my MOH....last year she was planning her wedding and I was her MOH, unfortunately she called off the engagement. Four mths later my FI proposed and I asked her to be my MOH and she was estatic. The only problem is that she's not really fulfilling her role/duties of MOH. I dont need her to cater to my every need or anything like that bc thats not how I am....but with certain things like contacting the other BMs and making sure they all come for fittings, putting deposits, etc I would like for her to be in charge. These are all things I did for her when I was her MOH. She claims that she has a bad memory (which we both do) and that she's forgetful and thats understandable...I too can be forgetful but when it came to her wedding, I was organized and on top of everything. Over a month ago I sent all my BMs including MOH a newsletter stating what wknd we were all planning to meet...she kept saying she would call the other girls and remind them, she never did!! On top of that, she called me 3 days before we were supposed to get fitted to tell me she forgot she had to go to a party that night and would not be able to meet with us at noon!! I was not happy...I just dont know if I should talk to her but I dont like confrontations of any kind or if I should just not count on her to do anything and continue to do it all on my own...agghhhhh! Thx for letting me VENT!!

    #2 Sandra E.

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      Posted 06 March 2008 - 11:26 PM

      I'm sorry you're in this situation. Maybe you can get her a book that explains what her duties are, so she can get the hint. It doesn't look like she's giving your wedding any priority.

      Amazon.com: Maid of Honor Handbook: Duties, Details, and Delights: Melinda Meier: Books

      #3 Yari

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        Posted 06 March 2008 - 11:39 PM

        What a tough situation to be in.

        I would take her out to lunch or dinner and chat. Tell her what you need help with and what your expectations are.

        #4 LadyCheese

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          Posted 06 March 2008 - 11:43 PM

          Quote:
          Originally Posted by sodria
          I'm sorry you're in this situation. Maybe you can get her a book that explains what her duties are, so she can get the hint. It doesn't look like she's giving your wedding any priority.

          Amazon.com: Maid of Honor Handbook: Duties, Details, and Delights: Melinda Meier: Books
          Thx for the tip...Funny you mentioned that bc when I was her MOH, I bought a book so I can know whats expected of me, etc...Once I became engaged I passed on the book to her; I doubt she's read it though

          #5 LadyCheese

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            Posted 06 March 2008 - 11:46 PM

            Quote:
            Originally Posted by Yari
            What a tough situation to be in.

            I would take her out to lunch or dinner and chat. Tell her what you need help with and what your expectations are.
            Thx Yari, I think I may do that & see how it goes. All I can do is try to talk to her and if she remains the same, then I guess I know where I stand.

            #6 Yari

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              Posted 06 March 2008 - 11:48 PM

              I wish you luck!!!

              #7 DanielleNDerek

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                Posted 07 March 2008 - 12:53 AM

                I agree with Yari about taking her out to lunch or dinner. But you should try to put it as nicely as possible. Maybe say "Hey so and so, I have a lot going on with planning the wedding and i'm feeling so stressed out and overwhelmed. Do you think you can help me out by blah blah blah?" Maybe she needs a hint like that.
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                #8 LadyCheese

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                  Posted 07 March 2008 - 11:49 AM

                  Quote:
                  Originally Posted by DanielleNDerek
                  I agree with Yari about taking her out to lunch or dinner. But you should try to put it as nicely as possible. Maybe say "Hey so and so, I have a lot going on with planning the wedding and i'm feeling so stressed out and overwhelmed. Do you think you can help me out by blah blah blah?" Maybe she needs a hint like that.
                  Thx Danielle, I'm definitely going to try that. Whats making things worse is that she missed fittings last wknd and is supposed to stop by this wknd so I can take her to get fitted....I asked her to call me during the week so she can tell me what day she's stopping by and its already Friday & I havent heard from her!! Crazy

                  #9 Celina

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                    Posted 07 March 2008 - 03:09 PM

                    Doesn't this drive you nuts?! I am in the same boat.

                    Maybe you two need to meet by yourselves and get some dates and times scheduled. Tell her exactly what you need her to do. Maybe you can get a feel if she is in it all the way or not. Maybe she just needs a little more nudging to get on the ball.
                    "Love is not who you live with...it's who you can't live without"

                    #10 becks

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                    Posted 07 March 2008 - 03:36 PM

                    I'm so sorry. Honestly, as much as I miss the idea of a bridal party, I'm also glad in so many ways that I don't have one.

                    Have a talk with her, tell her how you feel. Hopefully she'll step up. As a plan B, is there another BM that you could turn to?

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