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#91 hollisandsteph

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    Posted 05 March 2008 - 09:53 AM

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by JamaicaBride062108
    OMG Betsy I think you are my long lost twin! I tell FI I'm "turning off the lights and checking the doors" so I can check BDW one last time before bed! LOL!

    If I'm ever in IA or you are in KY let me know! FI bought be a table top wine fridge that holds 6 bottles for Christmas. I'll be sure it's stocked!

    On and my real name is Erin. I've been thinking about changing my screen name. You always have to be careful of the crazy people on the internet, but here, I'm probably the craziest so it's ok!
    Ok I might be getting in late on this one but this goes with my confession: I have a future step-son with a recent (finally) diagnosis of Asburgers- a form of Autism but is most just like a severe ADHD with little to no ability to understand social situations. I have been with his father for 8 years and his mom is not in the picture. He is soooo difficult somedays I don't just want to cry I do cry! My actual confession is that his dad wanted to give him up for adoption when he was born (he and his ex wife were young and already had a child they could not take care of and his ex was already in and out of the picture leaving him to take care of thier daughter) and I secertly wish they would have. He would have been better off raised in a home where he was an only child! I always feel guilty when I think it and have never told anyone so here you all go.
    Another confession: I am sitting here debating on deleting this whole thing...:-(

    #92 Copita

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      Posted 05 March 2008 - 10:06 AM

      my confession is that my fi and i have been arguing a LOT and it is adding so much stress to wedding planning. we may even have to change the date out to accomodate his brother, again, even though he has known the date for 14 months now and we've already changed the date for him once before. i am just tired of arguing with him and it is really taking a toll on our relationship. it's stupid.

      #93 Kat81

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        Posted 05 March 2008 - 02:13 PM

        Quote:
        Originally Posted by hollisandsteph
        Ok I might be getting in late on this one but this goes with my confession: I have a future step-son with a recent (finally) diagnosis of Asburgers- a form of Autism but is most just like a severe ADHD with little to no ability to understand social situations. I have been with his father for 8 years and his mom is not in the picture. He is soooo difficult somedays I don't just want to cry I do cry! My actual confession is that his dad wanted to give him up for adoption when he was born (he and his ex wife were young and already had a child they could not take care of and his ex was already in and out of the picture leaving him to take care of thier daughter) and I secertly wish they would have. He would have been better off raised in a home where he was an only child! I always feel guilty when I think it and have never told anyone so here you all go.
        Another confession: I am sitting here debating on deleting this whole thing...:-(
        My MOH's boyfriend has Asburgers.... I know exactly what you mean. He is so difficult to be around and he is 26 years old. He blurts out horrible things without thinking about what he is saying. She ends up in tears but she seems to love him. I am secretly glad he isn't coming to the wedding. He apparently can't make it. It is better off though because he would just say a bunch of horrible things about how hot all the other girls are and make her miserable anyway.

        #94 Maura

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        Posted 05 March 2008 - 02:24 PM

        Quote:
        Originally Posted by hollisandsteph
        Ok I might be getting in late on this one but this goes with my confession: I have a future step-son with a recent (finally) diagnosis of Asburgers- a form of Autism but is most just like a severe ADHD with little to no ability to understand social situations. I have been with his father for 8 years and his mom is not in the picture. He is soooo difficult somedays I don't just want to cry I do cry! My actual confession is that his dad wanted to give him up for adoption when he was born (he and his ex wife were young and already had a child they could not take care of and his ex was already in and out of the picture leaving him to take care of thier daughter) and I secertly wish they would have. He would have been better off raised in a home where he was an only child! I always feel guilty when I think it and have never told anyone so here you all go.
        Another confession: I am sitting here debating on deleting this whole thing...:-(
        my best friend's family is currently looking for a residence program for her brother, who is 14 and has aspergers. they just cannot handle him anymore. they have 2 other relatively young children (my friend is 25, but her siblings are 14, 13 (who is adopted), and 10 --because her mom remarried and had 2 kids and adopted another with her new husband) and its just too hard for them. they love the kid, but realize they cannot provide him with the kind of structure and life skills that he needs in order to successfully deal with his ailment and become a productive member of society. obviously, this is an expensive option, but something that her family needs to do because they feel like caring for him is only detrimental to him because they dont know how to care for him. my heart goes out to you, i know how much agony my friend's family is going through with this difficult decision.

        #95 hollisandsteph

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          Posted 05 March 2008 - 06:59 PM

          Quote:
          Originally Posted by mauraw
          my best friend's family is currently looking for a residence program for her brother, who is 14 and has aspergers. they just cannot handle him anymore. they have 2 other relatively young children (my friend is 25, but her siblings are 14, 13 (who is adopted), and 10 --because her mom remarried and had 2 kids and adopted another with her new husband) and its just too hard for them. they love the kid, but realize they cannot provide him with the kind of structure and life skills that he needs in order to successfully deal with his ailment and become a productive member of society. obviously, this is an expensive option, but something that her family needs to do because they feel like caring for him is only detrimental to him because they dont know how to care for him. my heart goes out to you, i know how much agony my friend's family is going through with this difficult decision.
          You know that is part of the added stress. My FH's has a daughter who is 14, his son with Asbergers is 12 (Drew) and my son turns 11 in a couple of weeks. Together we have a daughter who turned 2 today. All the other children are great. Never in trouble. Great manners gets along with everyone. We let soo many things slide with Drew that we don't with the other 2. Like Grades for example. We know Drew does not have ability to get A's and B's but the other two do. They see it as unfair when they get in trouble for a lower grade and he doesn't. We overlook a lot! Then it is soooo hard to be consistant with his behavior and anger problems. His fits are through the roof. When he is at his grandmothers the house is a quiet place. You can always tell when he is home. I honestly believe Drew would be a wonderful only child. Alone, I adore him but he his very jealous of the others (except the baby and fights) with them non-stop. It is not normally physical fighting. He knows better but the argueing is enough to drive anyone nutts and it's not fair to the the other two.

          #96 Kat81

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            Posted 05 March 2008 - 07:06 PM

            Quote:
            Originally Posted by hollisandsteph
            You know that is part of the added stress. My FH's has a daughter who is 14, his son with Asbergers is 12 (Drew) and my son turns 11 in a couple of weeks. Together we have a daughter who turned 2 today. All the other children are great. Never in trouble. Great manners gets along with everyone. We let soo many things slide with Drew that we don't with the other 2. Like Grades for example. We know Drew does not have ability to get A's and B's but the other two do. They see it as unfair when they get in trouble for a lower grade and he doesn't. We overlook a lot! Then it is soooo hard to be consistant with his behavior and anger problems. His fits are through the roof. When he is at his grandmothers the house is a quiet place. You can always tell when he is home. I honestly believe Drew would be a wonderful only child. Alone, I adore him but he his very jealous of the others (except the baby and fights) with them non-stop. It is not normally physical fighting. He knows better but the argueing is enough to drive anyone nutts and it's not fair to the the other two.
            That is so wierd! My MOH's Boyfriend that has it is named Drew too!

            #97 hollisandsteph

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              Posted 06 March 2008 - 10:58 AM

              Quote:
              Originally Posted by Kat81
              My MOH's boyfriend has Asburgers.... I know exactly what you mean. He is so difficult to be around and he is 26 years old. He blurts out horrible things without thinking about what he is saying. She ends up in tears but she seems to love him. I am secretly glad he isn't coming to the wedding. He apparently can't make it. It is better off though because he would just say a bunch of horrible things about how hot all the other girls are and make her miserable anyway.
              That is crazy that they have the same name!
              I have not met and adult with Asbergers yet...that I know of. I often wonder what Drew will be like as an adult. I honestly have trouble seeing him as a productive adult. He has little ability to do things on his own. Well, let me rephrase that. He has no desire to do things on his own. He will complain until someone in the house gets tired of it and gives in. We have been working on this though. He does have some responsibilty. He has to take care of the family cat (feed, water and change the litter) and pick up the bathroom. He gets paid for it weekly.
              He is also sooo angry. Is your friend's boyfriend that way? The psycologist said that part of it is male adolecent hormones kicking in but as long as I can remember he has been angry. He has had a rough life with his mom not being around though. Not that I am trying to make excuses or anything.
              You know, we have a lot in common. We met our FH on the internet and have people with Asbergers in our life...lol

              #98 Kat81

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                Posted 06 March 2008 - 12:12 PM

                Quote:
                Originally Posted by hollisandsteph
                That is crazy that they have the same name!
                I have not met and adult with Asbergers yet...that I know of. I often wonder what Drew will be like as an adult. I honestly have trouble seeing him as a productive adult. He has little ability to do things on his own. Well, let me rephrase that. He has no desire to do things on his own. He will complain until someone in the house gets tired of it and gives in. We have been working on this though. He does have some responsibilty. He has to take care of the family cat (feed, water and change the litter) and pick up the bathroom. He gets paid for it weekly.
                He is also sooo angry. Is your friend's boyfriend that way? The psycologist said that part of it is male adolecent hormones kicking in but as long as I can remember he has been angry. He has had a rough life with his mom not being around though. Not that I am trying to make excuses or anything.
                You know, we have a lot in common. We met our FH on the internet and have people with Asbergers in our life...lol
                Well, part of the disease is also that they focus on certain aspects of life. Like for instance my MOH's Drew is really into the Civil War and Bird Watching lol. So, he focus's a lot of his energy on that. He also is in the Wine industry for work. He ends up drinking a lot. Which just makes him worse. He is really random and says things that are really hurtful or embarrasing. It may help to find what he is really interested in and let him focus his energy on that. No matter how simple it may sound to you. He will want to learn every single little detail about it. Drew as far as I know doesn't have extreme anger issues. He just doesn't have any social skills. It's like you put him in a social situation and he freaks out and acts up. All in all he takes care of himself and keeps a job. I think he is on some kind of gov't program for housing. It is an autistic program. He has a social worker that checks up on him from time to time as well. I try to be kind and understand his disability but it is so hard when I hear him say hurtful things to my bestfriend of twenty years. We do have a lot in common lol.

                #99 Betsy

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                  Posted 08 March 2008 - 12:07 AM

                  Ok here is my confession and I hope I don't get into trouble here because the point is now I understand!!

                  My sister is on a forum somewhere out there in internet land and I always used to make fun of her for meeting people on it and talking about it...Fast forward to now where I consider this place my #1 go-to before I make ANY decisions about the wedding, I mean any decision about life in general at this point - I called her one day and I said - OMG I am soooo sorry for ever saying anything about your forum friends because now I understand! I feel closer to you guys then 1/2 of my "realworld" friends! I mean seriously - and whenever I bring up the forum - like for instance How Morgan made my Bachelorette invites and I went into detail about how I posted it on here and how you guys are so awesome and most everyone was like - you gave someone on the internet your personal info -what if they find you?? And I was like are you kidding? I hope they do find me and COME to my bachelorette party!! LOL! So I guess that is my confession - You can't knock it till you try it - and my sister was right - you guys are awesome AND I hope someday I can meet you!!

                  Please don't hate me for being so ignorant about friends you meet in BDW! I am the first to say WHO KNEW!

                  #100 Mandy

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                    Posted 08 March 2008 - 12:43 AM

                    Quote:
                    Originally Posted by Betsy
                    Ok here is my confession and I hope I don't get into trouble here because the point is now I understand!!

                    My sister is on a forum somewhere out there in internet land and I always used to make fun of her for meeting people on it and talking about it...Fast forward to now where I consider this place my #1 go-to before I make ANY decisions about the wedding, I mean any decision about life in general at this point - I called her one day and I said - OMG I am soooo sorry for ever saying anything about your forum friends because now I understand! I feel closer to you guys then 1/2 of my "realworld" friends! I mean seriously - and whenever I bring up the forum - like for instance How Morgan made my Bachelorette invites and I went into detail about how I posted it on here and how you guys are so awesome and most everyone was like - you gave someone on the internet your personal info -what if they find you?? And I was like are you kidding? I hope they do find me and COME to my bachelorette party!! LOL! So I guess that is my confession - You can't knock it till you try it - and my sister was right - you guys are awesome AND I hope someday I can meet you!!

                    Please don't hate me for being so ignorant about friends you meet in BDW! I am the first to say WHO KNEW!
                    Wow, don't apologize so much!! I'm sure many of us came to this forum looking for little but some great DW ideas. I doubt we knew how connected we would feel and what amazing advice other brides could have! Embrace it! Love it!




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