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Re-offering a Bridesmaids Position


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#1 Dijawana Diva

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    Posted 20 January 2008 - 12:41 PM

    So, after over 8 years together, we are getting married (it's really just an excuse to have a big party.. ha!) I'm 26 days out before the wedding, so I am now scrambling to get S@#(% done...

    Here is my dilemna:

    My sister, whom I asked to be my bridesmaid (family obligation thing...), backed out last month, thinking she couldn't come to the wedding. She is now coming, and am now wondering if I should offer her the bridesmaids position again.

    Although I would like her to be my bridesmaid, I feel she hasn't really been part of Bryant and my relationship - not like my other bridesmaid.

    Peoples thoughts always welcome...

    #2 neen

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      Posted 20 January 2008 - 12:58 PM

      it's totally a personal choice. we tried to think about it this way when we made our wedding party decisions - is he/she someone we want to be with us during the exciting and (possibly) tense hours and moments leading up to the ceremony. is he/she someone who will be supportive and excited and fun to be around while we're getting ready and someone we can depend on during the ceremony/reception for any minor tasks that crop up. lastly, it's important that we both love and feel loved by the people who will be standing beside us when become husband and wife. it's these things, more than their ability to be part of pre-wedding events/planning, that matter most to us.

      not sure if any of this really helpful, but wanted to put it out there...i'm sure whatever decision you make will be the right one for you and your FH

      #3 StephanieMN

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        Posted 20 January 2008 - 01:19 PM

        I would say there isn't really a black and white answer. She backed out in the first place so if you just offered it to her to be nice I would just say skip it.

        #4 becks

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        Posted 20 January 2008 - 07:51 PM

        Tough one. For me, I'm only having one BM, so it's a bit different. But it was between my sis and my BFF.

        For me, though, the question was what happens if it's 1 hour before the ceremony and I panic? BFF would slap me around, tell me to quit being stupid, get me a pina colada and tell me jokes. My sister would start a whole existential conversation about the nature of relationships and blah, blah, blah.

        I opted for the BFF and the pina colada.

        Happily married since 2008

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        #5 jnowlan

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          Posted 20 January 2008 - 08:05 PM

          That's a hard one. I guess you should not feel like you have to ask her again. Maybe she backed out before because the expense of the dress and everything. Also, you only have 26 days until the wedding not much time to get the dress.

          #6 Yari

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            Posted 21 January 2008 - 04:57 AM

            That's a toughie! What does your gut tell you to do?

            #7 Dijawana Diva

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              Posted 21 January 2008 - 10:56 PM

              Thanks for everyone's thoughts... Going with my gut; will ask my sissy to help at the reception, instead of standing by my side...

              Let's just hope she doesn't give me attitude (If she does, her and her hubby will be seated with people she doesn't know.. hahaha)

              #8 sn2bski

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                Posted 21 January 2008 - 11:26 PM

                Quote:
                Originally Posted by Dijawana Diva
                Thanks for everyone's thoughts... Going with my gut; will ask my sissy to help at the reception, instead of standing by my side...

                Let's just hope she doesn't give me attitude (If she does, her and her hubby will be seated with people she doesn't know.. hahaha)
                My two cents:
                I think you made the right decision by following your gut and having your sister help in some other way. Also, I don't think she has any right to give you attitude since she originally backed out!




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