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My fiance doesn't want to register for gifts!


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#11 pfeiffla

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Posted 14 April 2011 - 01:02 PM

I have a fiance who doesn't want to register for gifts!  He doesn't want people to think they have to get us something (which I feel, too).  I think he really is just afraid of getting a bunch of things we don't want or need and will then have the hassle of returning it all.  He would rather us just buy what we want.  I've tried to explain that some people will still want to get us something and if we don't register for some things to give some ideas, people will just give us whatever and then we will have that issue anyways!  Has anyone else experienced this or have any suggestions?!  Thanks for your help :)



#12 hatfiehm

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Posted 14 April 2011 - 02:11 PM

We had the same questions. We are both in our early 30's, we have had a house for awhile and have everything we need already. what we decided is to do a small registry and have our parents and close family tell people when they ask that we have requested no gifts since we know everyone is making a great investment to come to the wedding and that is the greatest gift we could have!

 

For those who are persistent (we both have a few family members who won't take "no gifts" for an answer, we have registered a few things.  My family has also informed me that though I requested no shower, they will be hosting one. So, ettiquette-wise...thats the road we decided to take.  But I have certainly seen very polite ways of stating no gifts and also ways of saying cash.  For example for a friends shower, the invite included a note that the bride and groom were renovating their kitchen and suggested a contribution to thier reno.  I didnt find it rude at all!

 

You may also want to remind your FH that not everyone will be able to make the destination wedding and so they may want to send a gift with their regrets..


Holly


#13 JayKay

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Posted 14 April 2011 - 03:21 PM


So helpful thank you!  We weren't going to register anywhere because we felt like people were coming and we don't want them to feel like they need to get us a gift.  We are going to take your advice and register for a few small things for the persistant people.
 

Originally Posted by hatfiehm View Post

We had the same questions. We are both in our early 30's, we have had a house for awhile and have everything we need already. what we decided is to do a small registry and have our parents and close family tell people when they ask that we have requested no gifts since we know everyone is making a great investment to come to the wedding and that is the greatest gift we could have!

 

For those who are persistent (we both have a few family members who won't take "no gifts" for an answer, we have registered a few things.  My family has also informed me that though I requested no shower, they will be hosting one. So, ettiquette-wise...thats the road we decided to take.  But I have certainly seen very polite ways of stating no gifts and also ways of saying cash.  For example for a friends shower, the invite included a note that the bride and groom were renovating their kitchen and suggested a contribution to thier reno.  I didnt find it rude at all!

 

You may also want to remind your FH that not everyone will be able to make the destination wedding and so they may want to send a gift with their regrets..



 



#14 jszy10

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Posted 14 April 2011 - 04:30 PM

oh hunny I hear you...my FI HATES getting gifts -- even for christmas!!  He understands the reason for registering, but doesn't really like the idea of it.  I was really upset for awhile actually because he like refused to go register with me.  I finally broke down and really explained to him how much it meant to me for him to help me with it, and also how people are going to buy us things anyway, and thats why it is important to at least help show them what we might want....and a week after he volunteered to go out with me.  We bought a house over 2 years ago, and have a lot of what we would need too, but its all hand me downs.  We registered for a lot of 'new' to replace our old...and we'll have a yard sale or donate it after the wedding is over. 

 

I do think it would be nice for your guests to have some kind of guidance.  Are you have a shower or AHR?  I'm doing both, so a registry was pretty much a must for us :oP



#15 harkatea

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Posted 14 April 2011 - 04:41 PM

I don't really want gifts either.  We don't need gifts.  Can we ask for cash?



#16 aaronlori

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Posted 14 April 2011 - 05:19 PM

We have flat out told anyone who has asked that we do not want any gifts/cash for our wedding. We have 50 family members travelling and that in itself is gift enough. There have been a few people who aren't going but still wanted to give us gifts, we politely asked that they just send best wishes in a card! It seems to have done the trick :)

 

I would feel really bad if people who were paying all this money to attend our DW also gave us a gift. Now, if someone gives us a card with cash I won't give it back or anything, lol.



#17 jszy10

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Posted 14 April 2011 - 06:08 PM

I think it does really depend on your situation.  I only have 17 people coming to my DW (we only invited around 25), so while I am making sure the people coming to Mexico do NOT buy me anything...we have over 100 people coming to our AHR that will want to.



#18 clgriffi7

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Posted 14 April 2011 - 06:48 PM

Like a lot of you ladies, my fiance and I don't want gifts from those attending our wedding in Mexico since they are spending so much money to attend.  However, we think that family that can't make it or guests attending our At Home Party might want to give us a gift.  Since we each owned a townhouse before moving in together - we have absolutely everything we could need and then some.  We decided to register for our honeymoon so guests can feel like they are still buying a gift (like a dinner, wine, massage, etc) instead of just giving cash.  However, the registry website we chose actually just gives us the money as cash (so you can prepay for your honeymoon and then get paid back from your guests). 

 

We put our wedding website on our Save the Date and the Invitation and we put the registry information on a Registry tab on the wedding website with the following verbiage:

 

Your attendance at our wedding so far from home is a wonderful gift in itself.  Your presence is the best present we could ask for!

For those guests that have requested a registry, we have set up an online honeymoon registry.  As we both owned separate houses, and a significant number of duplicate items had to be donated when we moved in together (to save money for the wedding of course!), a traditional in-store registry does not make sense.  We hope to take a once-in-a-lifetime Mediterranean cruise for our honeymoon/ 1-year anniversary in the fall of 2012.

Our registry can be found at My .

(link to wedding website here)



#19 SweetLe

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Posted 14 April 2011 - 11:54 PM

We had difficulty to with this issue too. We decided to register after our wedding but before our AHR. Our thought is this will allow guests who are not attending the wedding to buy gifts if they desire- but prevent those that our coming to Mexico from doing so. They are already giving us the gift of their presence-- we definitely don't want anything more :)


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#20 pfeiffla

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Posted 09 May 2011 - 02:35 PM

Great idea!  Can I ask what website allows you to register for your honeymoon?  Thanks so much for your input :)






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