@IzzyDeee - So, this probably isn't what you want to hear, but I don't think the situation is as serious as it's being made out to be. I'm not going to say you are overreacting, because emotions are hard to control and you feel how you feel. I just think that too often brides get hung up on me, me, me. I'm speaking generally now, not just about you. Yes, this is "our" day and we should feel special, but sometimes it's important to take a step back and realize that not everyone will be as enthusiastic about your wedding and wedding events as you are, and that's okay. I specifically told everyone that we are not having a shower or bachelor/bachelorette party because people coming on the trip is celebration enough for us, and we couldn't imagine asking for additional gifts. That is obviously a personal decision that we made, and I'm not saying that choosing to have those events is wrong, but sometimes people don't realize just how much they are asking of someone. All of these events add up in time and money. Just because someone "signs on" to be a bridesmaid shouldn't necessarily mean they are contractually obligated to be at every event you ask them to attend. I completely understand being upset and hurt because she is a close friend of yours, but there is likely something more to it. Having to drive 2.5 hours is not the end of the world, but for some people that's a hefty round trip to make multiple times. If she booked her trip and already paid in full, I would try to focus your energy on being grateful for that. She will be there to support you on the day the matters most.
I'm really not trying to put you down in saying this. I'm just trying to offer a different perspective.
I totally understand your perspective @JenniferH114
and I've never once said its all about me because it's not; it's about the Union of two people who love and are committed to one another. I'm not upset over the fact that she hasn't come to anything (yes it is a bit of an annoyance but not the huge deal), what the matter is is that she agrees to come and then bails last minute or just doesn't show up altogether, without telling me. I never planned on having a shower or bachelorette either but my MOH and bridesmaids all wanted to do it (her being one of them) so it doesn't make sense for her to be put off by the events when she's the main one that wanted them! (Besides my MOH of course!) I also never said any of my girls have to be at every event that was planned, since I don't want to go to all of them either LOL!
I have never made any of my bridesmaids feel like they have to come or anyone for that matter, but why agree to be a bridesmaid if you're only going to show up for the wedding? Why not just be a guest?If my wedding was in Canada she still wouldn't come to any of the events.
I've told everyone no gifts but people always do and I've offered to drive like I've said, offered her a room at my place so it wouldn't even cost her anything but her time if she came! This wouldn't bother me if she came to just ONE thing, like with all of us getting our nails done the day before we go(which is cheaper here than in Jamaica!) but she can't even though she will be passing right by like I've said.
I'm not like most brides I'm almost too relaxed! People have told me they have to check me for an actual heartbeat to make sure I'm still alive!! I have one bridesmaid who has been in countless weddings and actually was a bride herself 2 years ago; who tells me she can't even tell I'm a bride. I'm super laid back which is why it's taken me over a year of this silliness for me to even care LOL! Like I've said I've had huge amounts of time between events.
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