Jump to content

Photo

One Bridesmaid Driving Me Nuts! (Rant)


  • Please log in to reply
28 replies to this topic

#11 IzzyDeee

IzzyDeee
  • Jr. Member
  • 374 posts
  • Wedding Date:May 6, 2015
  • Wedding Location:Riu Montego Bay Jamaica
  • LocationLondon Ontario

Posted 27 March 2015 - 05:22 PM

Very true LOL! @MissJen3


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

#12 pjay

pjay
  • Sr. Member
  • 1,791 posts
  • Wedding Date:December 15, 2015
  • Wedding Location:Beach Palace
  • LocationToronto

Posted 27 March 2015 - 06:50 PM

Honestly.. I don't think you're overreacting at all. I'd be upset in this situation. I actually have a similar issue, but i'm just letting it go right now. At this point i've decided to have less of an expectation and just try to focus on the friends that are there for me. 


 

My planning thread :
http://www.bestdesti...e/#entry1885631

 



 


#13 IzzyDeee

IzzyDeee
  • Jr. Member
  • 374 posts
  • Wedding Date:May 6, 2015
  • Wedding Location:Riu Montego Bay Jamaica
  • LocationLondon Ontario

Posted 28 March 2015 - 12:18 AM

Honestly.. I don't think you're overreacting at all. I'd be upset in this situation. I actually have a similar issue, but i'm just letting it go right now. At this point i've decided to have less of an expectation and just try to focus on the friends that are there for me.


Very sound advice! Thank you @perianjay it's just hard to let it go in the heat of the moment and each time it happens it still hurts but, I've decided to just let it go and that; "everything is going to be irie"


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

#14 pjay

pjay
  • Sr. Member
  • 1,791 posts
  • Wedding Date:December 15, 2015
  • Wedding Location:Beach Palace
  • LocationToronto

Posted 28 March 2015 - 05:29 AM

Good philosophy :)


 

My planning thread :
http://www.bestdesti...e/#entry1885631

 



 


#15 IzzyDeee

IzzyDeee
  • Jr. Member
  • 374 posts
  • Wedding Date:May 6, 2015
  • Wedding Location:Riu Montego Bay Jamaica
  • LocationLondon Ontario

Posted 28 March 2015 - 05:31 AM

Was taught that one the first time I went to Jamaica haha @perianjay


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

#16 GingerBride

GingerBride
  • Newbie
  • 41 posts
  • Wedding Date:November 18, 2015
  • Wedding Location:Barcelo Maya Palace Deluxe
  • LocationOntario, Canada

Posted 28 March 2015 - 03:31 PM

@IzzyDeee Yeah, that's pretty disappointing...however, do you think it's just that she can't afford to go to the showers and other parties?  Maybe just talk with her.  Let her know that if she can't afford a gift (due to the expense of the actual destination wedding) that it's not the gift that matters to you it's her and her friendship that means the most to you.

 

If it's not that, then I would be upset too.  

 

Hope you are able to make things work with her :)



#17 IzzyDeee

IzzyDeee
  • Jr. Member
  • 374 posts
  • Wedding Date:May 6, 2015
  • Wedding Location:Riu Montego Bay Jamaica
  • LocationLondon Ontario

Posted 28 March 2015 - 03:44 PM

@IzzyDeee Yeah, that's pretty disappointing...however, do you think it's just that she can't afford to go to the showers and other parties? Maybe just talk with her. Let her know that if she can't afford a gift (due to the expense of the actual destination wedding) that it's not the gift that matters to you it's her and her friendship that means the most to you.

If it's not that, then I would be upset too.

Hope you are able to make things work with her :)


It's not that believe me that was my first thought too! I've told everyone that no gifts are needed at all for anything! I'm just glad they are willing to spend the money to be there for my wedding. and I wouldn't be upset like this if she actually came to just one event! (Other than the actual wedding) I've offered to drive and pick her up but that doesn't work for her either. It's just so confusing for me because why would you agree to be a bridesmaid but not actually want to be involved with anything?!

My FI and I aren't doing a stag and doe since people are already spending money to come to our wedding. And our events have been months apart; so it's not like it's been one after the other either. Just would be nice if she could make ONE event! She doesn't even think she can get her nails done with all of us the day before we leave; and she will be driving right by where we are getting them done to get to Toronto!!

Just sad more than anything else. @GingerBride


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

#18 GingerBride

GingerBride
  • Newbie
  • 41 posts
  • Wedding Date:November 18, 2015
  • Wedding Location:Barcelo Maya Palace Deluxe
  • LocationOntario, Canada

Posted 29 March 2015 - 03:19 AM

@IzzyDeee that is sad.  Not sure what to do in this situation.  I would hate to see your friendship dissolve after the wedding.  I see two options here... just talk with her, ask her what's up?  Perhaps she should just be a guest at your wedding and not a bride's maid.  It would be uncomfortable for you and her when you are doing your thank you speech and you mention all the people that have helped you out and she is the one bride's maid that you leave out.  

 

Or just let it go, don't even think about it and don't ask her repeatedly to join.  Some people like that drama and attention "Oh please come, it wouldn't be the same with out you!!!"  I have a friend like that.  When it came down to the final day to pay for the trip she said she doesn't know if she could afford it etc etc.  All I said was it's ok if you can't make it.  But in the end because I didn't put up a fuss she booked without issue.  Her Birthday is coming up and I said oh we will need to celebrate - maybe a spa day or something and she basically said I don't think I will be able to do any big celebrations until after your wedding in Mexico, I'm broke now.  I just replied with ok, we will have a great time in Mexico then!  Some people love drama and will always try to make things about them.

 

 

I hope that you can resolve it without a lost friendship.



#19 IzzyDeee

IzzyDeee
  • Jr. Member
  • 374 posts
  • Wedding Date:May 6, 2015
  • Wedding Location:Riu Montego Bay Jamaica
  • LocationLondon Ontario

Posted 29 March 2015 - 03:49 AM

Well at the end of the day it is her fault that she didn't get involved. I have done everything within my power to include her; and nothing seems to be good enough. So when I do my thank you speeches I hope she notices how her name is left out and realizes why it was. It's too late for her not to be a bridesmaid since she already has her dress and has booked for her hair in Jamaica or believe me she wouldn't be standing up there with me. I'm thinking she likes the drama and attention, so I'm just not going to give it to her. I'm not interested in playing these game LOL! I am a very honest and straightforward person (sometimes gets me into trouble) so for me her playing these games is a huge turn off! I hope the two of us can stay friends after this but we will have to wait and find out I guess! @GingerBride


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

#20 TNT2015

TNT2015
  • Newbie
  • 43 posts
  • Wedding Date:December 12, 2015
  • Wedding Location:Excellence Riviera Cancun

Posted 29 March 2015 - 04:29 AM

I was going to ask if it's possible that she's recently pregnant and the long car rides will make her nauseous, but since your first event was over a year ago... Idk.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Excellence Riviera Cancun - 12.12.15 - My Planning Thread





0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users