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I'm Asking For No Gifts But People Still Want Me To Register...

Etiquette Gifts & Registries

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#1 Meandhim

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  • Wedding Date:November 25, 2015
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Posted 24 January 2015 - 05:51 PM

So I am telling my guests that I do not want gifts for our wedding...to make the trip to our wedding is quite a big expense and I know that some people are sacrificing a lot to be there. I'm not having a shower, that I know of, but I still find that some people still want to get us something and have been asking us to register. 


Here's the thing...we have been together for 9 years this April fools and we have been living together for 8. We have quite enough stuff in our tiny apartment and I can't think of one "thing" that I NEED...don't get me wrong if i had a bigger apartment there would be plenty for me to WANT lol !!


I would prefer if they would gift us an experience like a date night, a membership to art gallery or museum, show tickets...etc. Even Money towards a honeymoon, house down payment ...or towards some debt (more likely lol)


How would you go about telling them this? I know people find it rude to ask for money...but for me regular physical gifts would just be a waste. Any suggestions....what would you do?

My Planning Thread - MeandHim - Grand Palladium Bavaro - Nov 25 2015



#2 tygrrlily

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Posted 24 January 2015 - 06:11 PM

There are a bunch of sites that manage honeymoon registries or registries from multiple stores (my registry) instead of just the traditional ones.  Also some of the honeymoon sites will actually send you a check, but the people gifting don't know that.  In our circles, money is a fairly standard wedding gift and while we told the people coming to our wedding not to get us gifts, about 90% of them still did - cash/check in a card.  Unexpected but really nice b/c we were able to pay off a lot of our wedding


Also, I think many people will want to get you a present and in a way it's more gracious to just let them.  For us, I knew a lot of people that weren't coming to our wedding too would want to give us something, and I did have a shower. So we registered to the Bay and also did a honeymoon registry at Disney.  We've been living together already so we didn't need anything either.  We registered for upgraded items or just nice luxe items we normally wouldn't buy.  We just had this on the registry section of our website


In the end, we actually returned a lot of our gifts from the Bay and all of the amounts spent got put on a gift card that we've been spending on other things that we need but would be weird to register for.  I got new winter boots for example

Edited by tygrrlily, 24 January 2015 - 06:15 PM.

Married December 19, 2014 at Beach Palace Resort in Cancun, Mexico


My Planning Thread - http://www.bestdesti...-resort-121914/


My Wedding Review

Part 1 - http://www.bestdesti...1914/?p=1881197

Part 2 - http://www.bestdesti...1914/?p=1881590

Part 3 - http://www.bestdesti...1914/?p=1881861


#3 Meandhim

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  • Wedding Date:November 25, 2015
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Posted 24 January 2015 - 06:17 PM

@tygrrlily Thanks good idea...I will check into some of those sites  :)

My Planning Thread - MeandHim - Grand Palladium Bavaro - Nov 25 2015



#4 calgarybride2015

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Posted 24 January 2015 - 09:18 PM

I've heard of those honeymoon sites too. I just declined gifts but we still got quite a lot. One gift card, a few wedding type gifts (holder for our marriage certificate, etc) and oodles of money. Bless their heart, so generous. It didn't pay for our wedding but it paid for all our excursions, extra fees at resort, and then some.

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Edited by calgarybride2015, 24 January 2015 - 09:20 PM.


Married on 2015/01/21 at the Grand Sirenis Riviera Maya with 43 guests in attendance   :)


Planning Thread - http://www.bestdesti...s-riviera-maya/


Wedding Pictures http://www.bestdesti...ra-maya/page-36


Wedding Review http://www.bestdesti...31#entry1885600



#5 acw271011

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Posted 24 January 2015 - 10:45 PM

The best way I think is to get family involved to help. We're a lot older than most of the couples here, had both been married and together for 10 years when we got married. Hubby's parents were the ones that put the word out even though we said no gifts. I had almost figured we were ok and people were going along with the request then at our AHR we had a whack of cards with money gifts. Even from our kids. I was quite surprised. But having parents or siblings help with what you do want is probably the most polite way.

I said "yes" again to the love of my life at Grand Coral Beach Club, Playa del Carmen, Mexico on our 4th anniversary - October 20, 2015







#6 LisaAnthonyPoppy

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Posted 25 January 2015 - 07:48 AM

Agree to 1st reply about wedding websites. I think that's where you typically post registry stuff. I heard it's not good to talk about it unless asked. But since they are asking, I see no problem just tell them. You could probably look up how to set up an account for your wedding in a tasteful way. Even if people don't use it at least they will know you would like to be blessed with money and then place it in a card.

#7 MNsunseeker

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    Posted 22 March 2015 - 02:10 PM

    Same issue here! Despite saying we do not want any gifts we are asked over and over where we are registered at.  Ahh!

    #8 vancouverpetunia

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    Posted 23 March 2015 - 12:12 PM

    We're not at that stage yet (just sent out STD 2 weeks ago and wedding not for a year). I have noted on our wedding web site no gifts. But I'm guessing some people, particularly those who can't make the trip, will ask. I'm struggling with how to point the non-travellers to a registry without also including the travellers. I'm thinking parents can help and I guess we just respond individually if asked. If anyone has any other ideas, I would love to hear them.

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    #9 MNsunseeker

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      Posted 28 March 2015 - 07:38 PM

      What wording did you all use on your invites to discourage gifts? I had found a previous post with their wording that I really lifed but I can't seem to locate it anymore :(

      #10 beckys98

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      Posted 29 March 2015 - 08:02 AM

      This is what we put on our website. I have not gotten asked about a registry once!


      "Spending time with us in Jamaica is the best gift you can give, so gifts are not expected and we will not be registering. Your presence is present enough!"

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